What to tell someone when you don't want them, but would let certain others, hold your child

J - posted on 07/22/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I need help. I am uncomfortable letting an unstable woman (possible drug addict) hold my baby at church. I flat out told her "no" when she asked to hold him and got very upset at me, pointing out to onlookers that many people hold my baby and why not her? I left the situation, but she was upset and ranting for a long time. I know that she'll confront me next Sunday. What do I say? She told people that it was unchristian of me to discriminate (she is African American, and she's a self-proclaimed recovering drug addict who comes from an abusive background). Honestly, whether she is African American doesn't matter. He is held by many African Americans not to mention several other people from different ethnic backgrounds at my church. The truth is, she is being singled out because I don't know or trust her. And, I honestly don't want my son to be too friendly with her because what if he learns to trust her and she goes "unstable" on him? What would you all do? This confrontation makes me not want to go to church. Help!

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Valariehood - posted on 07/22/2013

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If she was using again and you did not know it, or if anyone was, and you did not know it, the pores do care drugs through sweat, and skin oil. this does not mean that you can protect your child from everything....BUT there is nothing wrong with standing your grown. Be honest. Let her know that because you know that she is a past addict and because of the standards you set for your family, other then going to the same church, that will be all for the two of you and your family. You and God will deal with the out comes. Pray about it, and I will too.

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