Why is my 2 year old scared of so many things?

Ilove - posted on 10/10/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




Hello everyone. I am really struggling with my 2 year old daughter. She is afraid of so many things and people. I mean a lot of stuff. Lawn mowers that are on more than a block away from home, her bubble machine, the vacuum, her Grandfather, the doctor, the doctor's office, the receptionist at the doctor's office, firetrucks even if they are not in transit, dogs, echoes... I am so tired of the crying. I have soothed and calmed her in every situation as best as I can. I have given her rewards for being brave. I have spoken to her calmly and firmly. I have lectured. I have taken her to her favourite places for being good or semi-good. You name it I have tried it-I think. Anyway I am totally at my wits end. I am starting to worry that this might be more than a phase. It's been going on since she was about one. One woman suggested to me that she might have some emotional disfunction or problem and I should have a child psychologist evaluate her. That was tough for me to here. She may be right I guess.

If you happen to have any idea what this is or what I should do could you please lend me some advice? I will try anything. I am tired and sad about the whole situation. It can be really embarassing at times because she tends to be the only kid crying in these situations. But I don't even care about that. I have had to leave places and appointments early because she gets so worked up and stressed out, its not worth staying to see her get so upset. I want her to be happy and I feel like I am unable to make that happen which is about the worst quality a mother can have.

Please help.


Kimberly - posted on 10/11/2012




My daughter can be very wery of some things, she is almost three and still hate the vaccuum I have to put her in the living room and close the door to do the rest of the house now, she hates loud motors or sudden burst of sound yet she can be so loud herself. I find she really dilikes male doctors especially so when I make appointment i try to always get her into the ones I know she is ok with. I reassure her when I can feel her getting uptight about something and talk to her quietly and I find she will relax more if she is on my lap or holds my hand til she is ready to go. She still can take a bit to warm up to people easpecially on big groups and I just let her hang with me til she is feeling ok to go off on her own. My doctor said that this was a stage and some kids are just worse then other and may take longer to grow out of it. She can be very confident when she is around things she knows. Dont know if this helps at all but just keep checking things out and reassure her that she is fine and that there is nothing to worry about


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Ilove - posted on 10/11/2012




Well I am glad I am not the only one. Thank you Kimberly for sharing that. I will try some of the things you mentioned. I hope others respond and give me their insights as well. This is all helpful.

Ilove - posted on 10/10/2012




I just looked at this website. Thank you so much for that. I don't think she falls into this category. The reason I say this is because she does play well with adults, not so much with kids but she is getting better as she gets older, she doesn't really have any of the physical symptoms the website mentions. But there is one category that describes her to a T: Hypersensitivity To Sounds. So she may have this disorder. I will talk to my doctor. Unfortunately here in Canada, particularly in the province I am from, having a phone consultation is impossible. Doctor's can't charge for that so I think I will have to just go in.

Why do you think this happens. Did I do or not do something important. How can I help her?

Amy - posted on 10/10/2012




It sounds as if she may have a sensory processing disorder. I always felt my son had one, but he was never officially diagnosed with it, but it took him a long time to warm up to new situations. he's 6 now but when we used to go to playgroups and have to leave because the noise level was too much for him, up until a year ago we couldn't go to fireworks. When he was 2 I discussed my concerns with the doctor and he told me that you I shouldn't force him to stay in a situation where he was extremely uncomfortable but to expose him in short time frames and try to keep a controlled environment. Even now my son has anxiety over new situations and it takes him much longer to adjust to things than other kids, if I know we are going to be exposing him to something new we usually start talking about it a couple weeks beforehand so it's not a surprise when we pull into the doctors office.

One thing my doctor always suggested which I never actually tried was to give marks of bravery, so everytime my son did something that he was scared of draw a mark on his hand and at the end of the day talk about all the "marks" he earned for being brave. He didn't suggest it till my son was 4 but I think at 2 it would be a great idea to try. How is your daughter otherwise, does she communicate well, and this person that suggested you have her evaluated does she work with a lot of children? If you are really concerned I highly suggest you reach out to your doctor. Since your daughter doesn't do well at the office maybe call in advance do a phone consultation and then bring her in so he can observe her.

Here is a website that I always referred to for my son.


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