Would you leave your 3 year old with 80/81 year in-laws who have an unfenced pool and they don't know how to swim?

Michele - posted on 01/10/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )

16

0

0

My in-laws are 80/81 and they always want to babysit and have sleepovers with my 3 year old son, but I don't feel comfortable with it. They have a large pool and they can't swim. My son is obsessesed with water and he could spend the entire day by the pool and waterfall. My husband thinks they would somehow be able to save him if he falls in, but I don't have the same faith. I don't want him ever there without one of us or both. I think he just doesn't want to hurt his parents, but I think he needs to put his son's needs ahead of their needs. Does anyone think I'm crazy to think this way?

12 Comments

View replies by

Bette - posted on 01/14/2012

23

0

0

2 words: HECK NO!



You aren't crazy, love. You have a say in it and what I do with my in-laws is just smile and say, "We'll see..." then I find a distraction and walk away, even if it's just to the bathroom. Another technique I use when they try to pin me down, is say "oh it's a nice thought, but I'm not ready to commit to anything." When my husband starts in, I am honest with him and tell him that we are a team, and we have to work together for the safety and health of our children. There is no way that my DH can say yes to anything about our kids without a yes from me as well. I don't care what they or anyone else thinks about me being over protective or the "bad guy". my children are my job and I will not entrust them to someone else who might not be able to ensure the level of safety that I can.

Bette - posted on 01/14/2012

23

0

0

2 words: HECK NO!



You aren't crazy, love. You have a say in it and what I do with my in-laws is just smile and say, "We'll see..." then I find a distraction and walk away, even if it's just to the bathroom. Another technique I use when they try to pin me down, is say "oh it's a nice thought, but I'm not ready to commit to anything." When my husband starts in, I am honest with him and tell him that we are a team, and we have to work together for the safety and health of our children. There is no way that my DH can say yes to anything about our kids without a yes from me as well. I don't care what they or anyone else thinks about me being over protective or the "bad guy". my children are my job and I will not entrust them to someone else who might not be able to ensure the level of safety that I can.

Olga - posted on 01/12/2012

32

1

0

I hope things work out Michele - but end of the day, he is your son, and his saftey and your peace of mind must come first. There is hardly any point in them babysitting to give you a break if the whole time you are worried sick!!! Good luck with it all

Jenna - posted on 01/12/2012

187

51

16

I would not let my child be babysat in a house with a pool that doesn't have a locked gate around said pool. Period. Grandparents or not. Whoever is in charge, wouldn't matter. No locked gate around the pool, they would not be at that house without me there. I lived in Arizona a long time and that is hugely risky and stupid. They should get a gate around their pool. In most states now, it's the law.

[deleted account]

then your choice to say no is valid hun if they are not willing to keep him inside then they dont have him simple x

Michele - posted on 01/12/2012

16

0

0

Hi Donna, I understand where you're coming from. My concern with the pool is that my in-laws can't swim and they think they can keep up with him, but they can't. My husband has a hard time keeping up with him sometimes. I don't have a problem because I'm in really great shape. My son is extremely fast and high energy. It only takes a second for a child to fall into the water and 4-6 minutes for a child to become permanently brain dead, if not dead. That's my concern.

[deleted account]

it is a difficult one for me michelle my parents are 85 and 91 but they are more like 60 year olds and their grandchildrens safety comes first they have a pond in the garden but the back door is locked and the children only go out with an adult, as for the spoiling mine do that to but thats what grandparents do , but if you think for a moment they will not be with him all the time outside then your childs safetly comes first

Michele - posted on 01/11/2012

16

0

0

Thank you to all of you. Sometimes when everyone I talk to (husband and in-laws) is on a different page, I start to question myself. In response to Olga, if these were my parents, it would be a done deal. Unfortunately, my in-laws are the type of people that think it's fine to give a 2-3 year old diet soda and eat junk food nonstop all day. My battle has been ongoing for years.

Vicki - posted on 01/11/2012

1,150

0

166

A definite no. In this country it would be illegal to have an unfenced pool, if someone dies the pool owner is held accountable. Added to this fact is that they're in their 80s. Even if they were supervising well they would not have speedy enough reactions to get to him if something did got wrong. There's no way I'd leave my grandparents (in their 80s) in charge of my boy, he's too strong and fast for them. (Not to say that elderly relatives can't be an important part of a child's life, but sometimes for safety they can't be the adult in charge)

Olga - posted on 01/10/2012

32

1

0

Well - I would on the very strict communication that the door to get outside MUST be locked with the key removed from the door. Having said all that, I know if I said that to my parents they would do it, if I said it to my inlaws they would do what ever the hell they wanted. You have to do whatever you feel most comfortable with and you have to do what you believe will keep your son safe. Katherines Idea is good - can't they babysit at your house?

Katherine - posted on 01/10/2012

65,420

232

5195

NO! Noway. Nohow. That is WAY too dangerous. All it takes is two breathes for one of them to drown. I hate to be blunt but it's true. Why don't you have them come to your house? Express your concern. It's very valid.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms