2.5 year old not coping well with new baby

Keri - posted on 02/23/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My 2.5 year old is def having issues w/ our new addition 6 days old. Maybe its still early but he is refusing to go to bed slamming his door, throwing his books, having to go potty 5 times, doing summer saults on his bed, refusing to let dad do anything ( which dad usually does bedtime books and snuggles) hes not going to sleep until 9:30 usually 7:45p.m. He is also refusing to let dad help him go potty-like help with his pants etc...He likes all the play time with dad and doesn't really want to play with me-but it seems all the snuggly stuff and bathroom stuff he only wants me??? We've tried to keep everything as normal and routine as possible. Also our son doesn't want to go places he usually loves like his school-and doesn't want to get dressed. Maybe its a phase and normal but it is exhausting with a newborn as well...any advice on how to help get things back to a normal routine??? p.s. he did start acting out some with bed time before our daughter was born too.

help!
keri

3 Comments

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Allie - posted on 02/23/2010

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Bless his heart, he's probably a little scared (hence the bedtime and not wanting to leave you for school). What if you got him a present FROM your daughter. Also, try and get him involved (like get him a working camera and let him take pictures like everyone else... just get him excited) ask him to hand you diapers or passies or blankets. Be sure to set aside some special time for him. Get dad to babysit and go to the park or a bouce house (we have Monkey Joes where I am). There are tons of age appropriate books for him explaining big brother responsibilities. I'm sorry things are rough now, but they will get better it just takes a little time. Good luck with everything!

Valerie - posted on 02/23/2010

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It sounds to me like your 2.5 needs more attention or different attention. If this child goes to a day care or has playmates he might have been told things about having a sibling that have upset him. What did you do to prepare him for the birth? Sometimes a good book or two about having a new sibling is a good idea to share...one of my methods has always been to show the older child the attention first...make a big deal about them and not the infant...you want the older sibling to know that they are valued...i might get curious and ask what's not going to bed about? what is it about dad tucking him in? it sounds to me like he needs mom's attention...he probably has some funny idea about what this baby means and just needs your love, nurturing and gentle but firm boundaries...I would ask him what would help him to go to bed now? No why questions just what and how...What is it about having mommy help me? I am guessing he is insecure about his place with you now that the baby is here...I would pass everything I can off to dad and be with your boy...I would use that time to build up his confidence and trust that he is indispensible...i would make a big deal every time he helps with the baby...you are so helpful. big brothers are very important...i am so glad that we have both of you...bedtime is bedtime so what would help you to settle down now and go to sleep? ....new baby and moving into a more independent stage...good luck

Brittany - posted on 02/23/2010

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Maybe let him help out more with the new baby. Let him feel involved. I just found out that I am prego with my second and my daughter will be 2.5 when the baby is born also so I have been doing research. Also a good book is Toddler Wise. You can find it a Borders.

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