absolutely exhausted mummy

Sarah - posted on 07/19/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )

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I'm absolutely exhausted lately since I can't seem to get Oliver to sleep without screaming for hours on end! This has been resulting in him going bed far too late for an almost 18month old .. and then he's waking up later and later in the day .. not napping all day and the cycle continues...
Anyway I'm clueless as to what to do .. his daddy and me had to take him for a drive along the bypass last night to get him to sleep .. he fell asleep at 9.30pm .. the earliest he's gone in like a week.
but he still woke up at 4am screaming his head off like he did on Sunday night ..
I gave him some calprofen and a sachet of boots teething powder.. because he has got his back teeth coming through at the moment so not sure if it is that .. and took him downstairs for a drink .. which he wouldn't touch ..
put him back in his cot .. but he just carried on screaming .. ended up playing the lullabies on his baby monitor .. put all 3 of his night lights on .. gave him all his favourite little teddys like sponge bob (bob) and waybuloo's nok tok (gog-goo as he calls it lol) .. tried ignore him .. but he still wouldn't calm down .. and then i heard a BANG .. went in his room and he was on the floor! .. put him in his gro-bag to see if that would help .. but he managed to get out of it some how .. and climbed out his cot yet again .. though I was in his room at that point so I managed to prevent him falling.
Ended up trying get him to settle in my bed without me .. but he just cried and got out when I left him.
So I just gave up and ended up putting him in bed with me at 5am!!
Set my alarm to wake up at 8 .. but ended up getting up at 9 .. since I don't want him getting into a habit of waking up too late.
oh and his daddy said he would try and have him tonight since I've got work at 8am (get up about 6.20am) so I'll be knackered ..
but he finishes at 7 and he has to get the travel cot and everything sorted

I really don't know what to do anymore since bedtime has become a real struggle. HELP!

21 Comments

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Eva - posted on 08/02/2010

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I am so sorry about your frustrations. Being a mommy of 4 myself, I'd like to offer a suggestion. First thing is that at 18 months they are getting pretty savy at working the mama and papa. He also sounds like in addition to teething, he may also have quite a bit of energy left in him. I'd provide an lengthy outside running at the park type of experience, or swimming at the pool, and then just keeping him awake ( yes, no nap) until bedtime. Any daytime sleeping will make him less tired at bedtime. In addition, if his teeth are bugging him, tylenol or baby motrin before bed too. Little guys schedules do change, so perhaps cutting off the daytime nap will help (assuming hes on one). Being exhausted at bedtime from all of the extra playtime, no nap, medicine for the teeth, will almost always provide you with somewhat if not significantly improved sleep for yourself. By the way, you may need to re-tylenol him if he wakes up at that 4 am hour. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 07/27/2010

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My daughter is younger but we've been battling with sleep issues for months. I've found that Weissbluth's book helps if you have the patience to read it & I've just started working with a lovely sleep consultant (who offers great packages) from www.familysleep.com.

Sarah - posted on 07/25/2010

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Try longer afternoon naps. It works for me. My daughter sleeps for 3 hours and still goes to bed at 7pm sand sleeps through until 7am approx. My 5 year old used to have 3 hour naps and always slept through and my 11 week old is on his way to doing the same. The time we have bad nights , which are rare, are when my daughter has not had enough sleep during the day and the overtiredness stops her settling at night. I hope the longer naps help. good luck xx

[deleted account]

I'd forgotten about ear infections! If I have unexplained bouts of crying, not solved by teething gel or medicine it generally turns out to be an ear infection which doesn't seem to bother them during the day. It usually takes me a couple of days (and hellish nights!) to figure it out. Good luck, hope things improve soon x

Liz - posted on 07/24/2010

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i would prob get some advise off your clinic nurse,if not there is useally a baby sleep centre around (parenting centre) they are good and can give lots of support and help.sounds like it could be a bit more than teeth,nothing bad but get him checked to make sure all is ok. could he be getting over tired? because he is getting tired crying.poor thing and poor you

Beccie - posted on 07/23/2010

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My son goes through random fazes like this, when he's teething ! If it has only been going on for a short while then that is possibly the cause, with the added bonus of an ear infection and its bound to cause problems at bedtime. I spoke to my HV when we were goig through a bad patch and asked why if he was in pain did he not bother about it in the day, only bedtime. she said that in the day they know we are there, but at bedtime they are all alone and they dont like it if in pain (when you were sick as a child, didnt you just want mummy to cuddle you better ?) So then comes the dilema, do you have them with you for a few nights to reassure them, but possibly cause more sleep problems in the future, or reassure them as much as possible at bedtime but be firm that they are to be in their own bed as they may only be testing you ? Its a hard one, I myself have given in on a few nights, but only as a one off. thankfully he is a really good sleeper and is now in a big bed and we have no problems with that. I hope that your LO is just having a bad few days with teething and will get better soon so you can get back to getting a little bit of sleep x

Mel - posted on 07/23/2010

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This sounds like you're talking about my older daughter who has not long turned 2! I have had similar problems with her from day1 although her younger sister is a perfect 7pm bedtime and not up til 6am. She has never been a good sleeper, waking throughout the night, going to bed as late as 10 some nights and always up by 7 at the latest. She rarely has a daytime nap and if she does, then we limit it to just 1 hour. She has plenty of exercise throughout the day in order to try and tire her out but she just seems to keep going. We have tried all sorts of advice from Health visitors to parents alike and still have not found a solution. I have put a stair gate across her room to try and keep her in bed but she insists on constant screaming (3 hours 1 night!) and even makes herself physically sick. I have tried to keep it up but each night just got worse and after 2 weeks I was falling asleep in her bed as I was so tired and gave in. If you find a solution, please let me know as I am a full-time single mum of a 1 & 2 year old and I too am an exhausted mummy

Nina - posted on 07/23/2010

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I haven't read the other replies but my daughter does this when she has an ear infection. She is not sick in any other aspect and I would not know except she will not sleep. Just something to keep in mind, maybe just setting up a dr apt to rule out any other issues too...u never know?!?!?!?

Debbie - posted on 07/23/2010

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My daughter is now 2.5 years old, but I know at one time she would go down for the night at 8pm and sleep through the night until 7am, then a nap around 11:30 am - 12:30pm (right after lunch) and sleep for about 1.5 hours (give or take). BUT now that's not the case. I have her potty-trained in the daytime but we're working on nights and naps. She now wakes up between midnight - 2am to let me know that she has to go potty ... but just having the same routine everyday has helped us. She screamed more in the beginning and there are days where she'll still let me know that she's not happy about sleeping, but overall after I had to deal with the beginning of the routine ... it runs pretty smoothly.

I just made sure she knew the routine and the crying got less and less ... especially when she saw that I wasn't going to let the crying stop her from having to take a nap or go to bed at night. The first week was absolutely horrible, but I'm glad I put up with it. The next week was bad, but fortunately not quite as bad ... and then a bit after that she would just lay down when I put her to bed, occasionally talking to herself and then she'd fall asleep. ... Not sure if this helps you, but it's what we did for our 2 year old.

Louise - posted on 07/23/2010

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It sounds to me that you are fighting two things here. One is his molars coming through and an irregular bedtime routine. Try and buy some teething crystals from Holland and Barrats they are herbal and really do tend to sooth alot better than the medicated gels. If you think he is in pain give him some calpol as well. Secondly try calm down time I put Waybulo or the night garden on for half an hour before bath time and then bath and bed. Do not over stimulate his bath time just a few simple toys nothing to exciting. Put him to bed at the same time every night regardless. I would remove his lullaby and night lights out of the cot and leave him with one favourite toy. Put a night light out of reach. If he wakes during the night go in and see if there is any obvious reason and if not snuggle him in and leave the room. Do not give him eye contact or verbal contact. Keep doing this every time he wakes and leave him for longer and longer before you go back in. After a few nights he should realise that you do not want to play or get up at silly o'clock so there is no point in getting you up if you are not going to interact with him. Try and use a routine for his lunch time sleep. Straight after lunch put him to bed awake so that he can self sooth he should learn that his routine is to sleep after lunch.He will soon learn his new routine and eventually you should get some sleep to. There is nothing worse than broken nights sleep I feel for ya and have been there myself with my middle son.

Rascal - posted on 07/23/2010

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It does sound to me like it's his teeth thats keeping him awake and upsetting him. Have you ever tried ambasol? It's a liquid Anaesthetic that you rub on the gums and it lasts alot longer than pastes- completly numbs the gums, I use it on my 20 mth old and he's gone with in half an hour and straight away you can see the effect take place when they calm and stop crying. I put it on him, cuddle him, give him his dummy and boris teddy, lay him in his cot and it seems to do the trick. I hope you find a solution, just reading your message made me feel tired you poor soul! Best of luck x

[deleted account]

I also have an 18 month old(and 3 yr old)- I do whole routine thing- dinner, bath, story, bed thing- both kids in bed at 7.15, sleep till 5 am (younger boy) then he sleeps in with us for another hour. Wasn't always like this but I agree with the tiring out thing! We spend our days at the park if poss, and I find soft play centrex very useful! I also try to make him walk as much as poss, but I would keep the lunchtime nap, even if he has it in his pram in the park! I also agree with keeping him in his bed but I can't let my kids cry- I go in when they start, but minimal contact, no speaking, no light on- lay him down, give him his favourite toy, walk straight back out- repeat until it stops! Or give him calpol if he needs it though I find ibuprofen more successful when teething/ear infections. You have my sympathies, I've been driven near demented through lack of sleep at times but it does change (eventually!)

Samantha - posted on 07/21/2010

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keep him in his own bed i have bad sleep problems with my 3.5 yr old boy because id put him in my bed or sleep in his bed with him id do anything to get him to sleep while hes young you can take control
when he cries in his bedroom just keep going up every 5 to 10 mins to calm him down but try to leave him in his bed just lay him down and relax him no ee contact no talking keep it boring let him know you are not giving up and he is going to sleep in his bed honestly if i could turn back time id have kept my boy inhis bed and been strict im trying the checking routine at mo its hard :) but im boss not the kids !! x

Laurie - posted on 07/21/2010

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You may also see if you can get him to go to bed before he seems to be exhausted - perhaps the problem is that he is over tired and fighting sleep. With my son - now two and a half - he still has afternoon naps and sleeps from about 9pm to 7:30am plus 12:30 to 3:30 or so usually. If he doesn't get enough sleep then he has a hard time going to bed. Just a thought.

Sarah - posted on 07/21/2010

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tea means dinner lol.
and dinner is lunch.

well we had a much better nights sleep these past 2 nights .. good job as i had work yesterday .. i'm still gonna go see my health visitor today as its a regular occurence .. he's still going bed late though!
he's just got over a viral ear infection so that could be it.

[deleted account]

My sister-in-law struggles with bedtime with her little boy, about the same age. She found out that he needed a TON of activity during the day in order to get his energy out. It finally exhausted him enough that he would go to sleep without a fuss. I don't really have many other pearls of wisdom for you. At that age though, we put our daughter down closer to 7. I'm not sure if that would make a difference at all. Good luck! I hope you get some sleep again soon!

Erin - posted on 07/20/2010

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yeah sometimes it doesn't I would just try to do the other things I said.I hope it works. It can be so hard. I really do sympathise.

Sarah - posted on 07/20/2010

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he did have a bit of a routine 8-8
sort of get up breakfast around 8 .. dinner at 12 .. nap around 1/2 for about an hour .. tea at 4 .. supper at 6 .. with snacks about 10/11 and 2/3 ish and a bed time routine of bath, story then bed (the bed time routine still happens every night) but at the moment it isn't making the slightest bit of difference

Erin - posted on 07/19/2010

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I would try to getting him up at 7am, no nap during the day, I do a bedtime routine, we do dinner, brush teeth, bath, story, bed. If you started this at around 7 you could have him in bed a little after 8. Sometimes my son wakes up in the middle of the night. When he does I read to him until he starts yawning and his eyes are getting heavy. Not what I would choose to be doing at 2am but he's usually back to sleep in a half hour. Oh,and I also have a white noise machine running. Good luck. Hope all of you can get some sleep.

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