Advice Please

Jen - posted on 05/28/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi there, I am 35 weeks pregnant and I have a 2 year old who will be three in september. We found out that we had to move suddenly and for the last several weeks have been slowly packing things up. I have talked to my daughter about this occasionally, telling her that we would be moving, but she doesnt seem to engage in the converstaion.
Well, last night was her last night in her room and tonight we start picking everything up with the moving truck and off we go. We are moving in with my husbands mother, so this is a place that she is familiar with, however I still feel horrible that she is loosing her room and that we had to move. We will all be cramed in one room, her my husband and I and the new baby when she arrives. I try to not let her see my emotions and just try to go on with our normal daily routines.
My question is, how do I help her cope with the move? Could there be or will there be an effect on her with this move? I jut dont know how moves effect toddlers, it just sucks too the timming is so bad becuase here she has to move and then get used to being around a new baby in 4 weeks. I am also afriad that she is going to want to hang out with her grandma more then me and I will loose that mommy daughter time (my husbands mother and I do NOT get along and she steps on my toes and I am so afriad shes going to try and continue to make me look like a bad wife and mother and try to take away time from me to spend with my daughter.)

Any advice anyone has would be so much appreacited! Thank You

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Jen - posted on 05/28/2010

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I appreacite it. I do plan on taking several trips with her, just her and I each week. I know that my MIL could potentially be very helpful, I just fear becuase this woman Called herself Mommy to my first daughter and had her calling her mama. Not only that but she went out and bought everything for her before I ever had a chance and even tried to set up a nursery in her home and asked if she could have her (babysit her) when she was only 5 days old.
Anytime she got the chance she always critizsed me as a mother and a wife, and told me about how her husband never had to cook or never do one load of laundry. Im just scared she is going to try and but in and hound my daughter and try to take over. Unfortunatly the woman doesnt work anymore, so I will be stuck in the same house with her day in and day out unless I can find somthing to do. Its not like I can hide in our room either, cus that wouldnt be healthy for my daughter. I went into preterm labor when I was only 23 weeks when I was pregnant with my first and was in the hospital several more times after that because of this woman, shes horrible and im really scared to have my family around her.
However I will try my best to have it be an aset, im sure I could use the help once our second daughter is born. The trips will be gladly taken thats for sure! And thanks for the advice about the age and moving, I was worried it would be hard on her. Your right tho, she is pretty young and wont remeber it so that is nice :)

Christy - posted on 05/28/2010

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I was in the same boat when we moved. Pregnant, had a 1 yr old. Lived with my in laws for 3 months before finding a house. Had the baby and MIL (mother in law) helped out A LOT! I took some time to spend with my son alone while she watched my baby.

Don't stress about it too much. Kids at that age pick up on your emotions like you wouldn't believe. Honestly, she probably won't remember the move in the long haul....she's too young. You might have more issues if she was older. Give her a lovey to hold for comfort if she doesn't already have one (like a blanket, favorite stuffed animal, etc). Also express your concerns with husband and MIL to make the transition go more smoothly. Take advantage of the fact that your MIL is able to help after baby's born. She can help with your daughter when you need her, and can help with the baby so you can have alone time with your daughter. Try to take 2 trips week somewhere with your daughter, just you and her. Even if it's to the store or McDonald's, just for an hour or 2. Hope this helps you!

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