Age three tantrums - getting angry all time..how to deal

Kanan - posted on 12/23/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son is three and a half and has temper mood swings.....when corrected for anything is always getting angry and cries often....he also throws our words back at us......how do we deal with this??

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Amber - posted on 12/24/2009

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Do you have a discipline system in place? Is it consistant? Do you acknowledge his feelings/emotions when they are present?
If there is no consistant form of discipline, I suggest starting there. I, personally, use time-out. The chair is placed where there is little view of anyone and no chance of entertainment while in time-out. My daughter is almost 3 and we do a 2 minute time-out, she is then to appologize to whomever was offended/hurt/etc.. then we hug say "I love you" and explain why she was punished.
It could also have something to do with your son wanting his independence, which is not uncommon. They want to do things for themselves, or do whatever they want to do at the time they want to do it! Young children are still discovering their emotions and how to deal with them, it doesn't hurt to help out. When he becomes angry or frustrated acknowledge this by saying something like "I know you're angry" or "I know this is frustrating" so he knows you are understanding him and he is not alone. And perhaps suggest stress management tools. Taking deep breaths to calm down, or going to chill out in his room, or doing something silly to turn that frown upside down!
Hope this was helpful. Good luck.

Nancy - posted on 12/23/2009

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I have the same problem...I hope someone responds with some encouraging words of wisdom :-)

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DIANA - posted on 12/28/2009

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I am going through the same thing my son is 4 & there is a a huge age gap between my other children and him the baby daughters are21,16 & my son is 13 he has grown up the last few years with the 13&16 year old fighting with eachother pure drama I just do not know what to do with him Due to the other bad influences .really, its not cute anymore....So do you think time out for saying a bunch of bad things when he gets angry would be good he is like nothing I have ever seen before,

Rebecca - posted on 12/24/2009

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When my daughter was 3, she had horrible tantrums too. She would start about anything and have them anywhere. She acted as if she was being tortured. It was very difficult because we also have now a 2 year old son. My daughter is now 4. Her tantrums have gone down a lot. I just didn't want my son to pick it up too since he follows everything she does. We just had to work it out. Talk with them, spend time alone with them. They will in their own way, tell you what is wrong with them. I know it is hard, but try not to get angry with him when he is having a tantrum. Try putting him in a safe room where he can not get hurt for a few minutes by himself and then go in there to talk with him without getting upset. This is what we did with our daughter and after a while they have gotten much better and less frequent. Hope this helps.

Rachel - posted on 12/24/2009

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I know the feeling, my 3 1/2 year old exactly the same, its the age where they try to oush the boudries for reaction, I do find myself having to leave the room to stop me rising to it..best method is to try to ignore it and walk away, although she chases me round the house in a screaming frenzy!lol. Its hard but you only work yourself up if you get cross. I can only suggest turningthe TV up and walking away sometimes works or threatening no chocolate ever again etc...today in B&Q when she started (having been to see santa and got a pressie of course!) I just sang Whinge whinge whinge !!! eventually she stopped!lol :-)

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