Aggressive 3-year old! Help!

Lindsay - posted on 05/17/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My three year old has recently begun getting rather aggressive - not only with me, but the kids at daycare too. I try to be very consistent and firm, while trying to explain that its okay to bed mad, but not to be mean ....... but he's still doing it. Is this a stage or a big issue? Any suggestions on how to lessen his aggression are greatly appreciated!

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Lindsay - posted on 05/18/2010

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I know bedtime is a huge trigger for him at home. Not sure what it is at daycare, but I will speak with my daycare lady and have her watch. Good suggestion. Still not sure what to do about bedtime, though. Have tried to keep the same routine. Have tried to allow him to dance and be active to wear him down. I've also tried to give him "tone down" time. I've heard that there's over the counter melatonin to help kids go to sleep, but I'm SO not into the idea of medicating him so he won't fight me at bedtime. I really think its something that just needs to be worked through. Just gotta figure out how!

Louise - posted on 05/18/2010

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Try and see if there is a trigger to his behaviour whether it is because of frustration of not being able to do something or whether it is because he does not want to take turns or share toys. Something is triggering him! If you can put your finger on it then you have something to work with. Try the time out punishment. Worn him that he will sit on the chair if he continues and then carry out the punishment if he continues. The rule is one minute per year of life so three minutes. It does not seem a long time but to a child it seems like a life time not being able to do what you want to do. Let him calm down and explain to him that hitting is not nice and that you do not hit him so why does he feel he can hit others! After your firm chat give him a cuddle and let him go play. This is a phase and he will soon learn it is not socially acceptable to hit people to get what he wants. Being consistant and firm is great so keep up the good work you will get there in the end!

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