Another baby

Tierney - posted on 12/26/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )




My son just turned two and I'm going through baby withdrawls....when is a good time to have another baby? I'm afraid of loosing my bond with my son if I have another child...


Shirley - posted on 12/27/2009




My girls are 14 months apart ( not planned that way) but I love it now!! They are 22mos and nearly 8 mos. I promise you, you will not lose the bond with your son. He may get Jealous and maybe even angry at first, all children do but then they see that you have pleanty of love to go around. Then after about 12 weeks or so they forget what life was like without their sibling and they really begin to love their new brother or sister. It is VERY difficult at first ( say the first 12 weeks) but it is good that new borns are designed to eat and sleep, so you spend every second with your toddler to reassure and show them as much love as you can by playing, reading, hugging and kissing so that they know that they have not been replaced. All in all though there is nothing like having them close together, as they will have a really strong bond ( hopefully)


View replies by

Jen - posted on 12/30/2009




my boys are almost exactly 3 years apart and i feel like i had quite a bit of time with my first and he was at the age that he could help a lot! Your relationship will change constantly with your kids, for the rest of your life, every phase is as great as you make it!! My oldest is 3 now, and when my youngest goes down for a nap, we have a little cuddle time and play a bigger kid game just the 2 of us, and it's a special time for us every day! There is no feeling greater than seeing both of my boys playing together and laughing! They will both always be my babies!

Tiffany - posted on 12/29/2009




I heard from a doctor that if your body is able and you're wanting to have more than one child, it's best to have them two years apart. If you're back within a good weight to start trying and you and your family are ready, I'd go for it! We are having our second child close to the time our son turns two, and I feel like it's great timing, because he can help out and they can be close in age. Of course it's always up to you!

Katie - posted on 12/29/2009




My two are 2.5 yrs apart. I love it! I thought I wanted them closer but I am happy the way it is. The 3 yr old understands whats going on and likes to try and help ( which is needed and loved) and he entertains my 8 month old as well. Anytime is good as long as you feel up to it. It's a lot more work with a 2nd one but I wouldn't change it!

Stacey - posted on 12/29/2009




I have 4 kids. 5, 3, 19 months and 4 months. Its hard but I wouldn't change it especially when I see my 3year old reading books to my 19 month old or when I see the oldest three play super heros together or when my 19 month old tries to comfort my 4 month old by sharing his dummy. These moments give me the most joy. I haven't lost anything with my first, I have gained 4 times more than what I had. I was terrifed when I was about to have my second but when he came everything was great. Preparing your son is important, make it as natural experience as possible. Don't be to worried cos they pick up on this very well and they will worry. Love the experience and they will follow. I have never once had a jealoousy issue ( i have regression and other problems that were solved) they all have loved the experience of a new brother or sister and I often get questions of when I will have more for them.
Try to except that it will be hard at times and you will see nothing but wonderful times. Good luck with your decision.

Michelle - posted on 12/28/2009




Honestly never!!! It all about how you feel and when you feel ready. My eldest was 5 nov next is 2 1/2 yrs and youngest 14 weeks. I'm very happy with the age gap but it was planned that way. You will never lose that bond with your first child as long as you keep them involved and they still feel loved and you still have that one on one time. My girls love their little brother and they love each other. Just one tip if you have another baby. If baby and toddler need your attention at same time as long as baby ok always see to toddler first. Alot quicker in general to sort out and keeps them happy.

Wendy - posted on 12/28/2009




a good time is when you feel ready. my last 2 are 16 months apart. although it is hard at times for me they get along great. my 3 year old and my one year old was rough at first but now they are the best of friends!!!

Lorie - posted on 12/28/2009




I went through the same thing when my son was two and then we got pregnant with my second son. By the time he came my first son was 2 months away from being 3 and that is a great age. They are old enough to sort of know whats going on and to be " mommy's big boy helper ". If your bond with your son is strong I don't think you will lose it.My first was a BIG BIG mommies boy and he still is. He grow up a little when Dawson came along but we didn't lose our bond.

As long as your son knows that you always love him and have a spot in your heart just for him. He should be ok and get him to help you with the baby so he feels like a big boy. All child adjust.

Good luck

Good luck

Olivia - posted on 12/28/2009




I would also agree that a 2 year age difference is good. But as the previous psts have shown, it CAN be done earlier than that. As my personl prefereance i would have wished that i had gotten preganat when my son turned 2...insted of him turning 2 a month before i had my daughter... but this way isnt as bad either. I would def. suggest that you consider having another once your first child is completely potty trained. It is a bit difficult to have a new born and still try to potty train your toddler not to mention the diaper costs.
I will admit i felt horrible when i came home from the hospital with the new baby. Part of it may have been becuse i had a c section so i wasnt able to pick up my 2 yr old bt i was able to hold the i definitely felt very guilty. Once i was able to move around more and was able to physically interect with my son...things feel into place. He adored his baby sister when she came home, and he did go through a jealous phase which has now diminished quite a bit. He LOVES hi baby sister, and she is now 4 months old and it's amazing to see their interaction and how helpful and protective he is with her.
Someone already mentioned it, but it is imperative that you make sure to include your first born in as many things as possible with baby. and it's easier when the newborn sleeps a lot you can spend time with the first born so that it can reinforce the bond you had with them before the new baby came. Good Luck :)

Temeka - posted on 12/26/2009




My two children are 15 months apart and BOTH in diapers!! It isn't as bad as I thought it would be! My son is the oldest and he is threatening potty training though! He was about 95% there and we went on vacation and reverted back to 0% :-(

And like Brandi said, I LOVE having them this close in age because neither of them remember or know being the "only child" and have any jealousy issues. They only know each other and love each other like best friends...including the squabbles!

It was the hardest when the youngest was a newborn - but that's NEVER easy!!! There was no sleeping in this time when the baby went to sleep, cuz the other one wanted to eat...never ending stomachs...I swear!

I learned some short cuts...lowered my expectations...lost some sanity, but we're good!!

Brandi - posted on 12/26/2009




My kids are 2 years apart and I think it' a GREAT age difference. They are close enough to be close, but far enough that I don't have 2 in diapers, I don't have 2 that can't feed themselves, my oldest was able to help out with some of the little things. and they play so well together cuz they have some similar interests. My daughter (oldest) LOVES to teach things to my son and he is picking things up quickly. My bond with my daughter didn't suffer at all when my son came. My son and i are also very close and well bonded. I once heard that when you have more babies, God doesn't divide the love you have, he multiplies it!!!! It's true. I didn't think I could love anyone as much as I love my daughter UNTIL my son was born. I thought I was loving my daughter with my WHOLE heart, but I think God gave me a whole other heart to love my son with and it's full too. :-)))))

Aubrey - posted on 12/26/2009




I dont think that there is really any good time that is going to fit to have another baby.. your not going to lose the bond u just have to make sure that u include your first child in almost anything you do with the baby... my daughter is two and i go thro the baby withdrawl all the time

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms