Any suggestions on discipline?

Brittney - posted on 02/23/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

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Ryleigh is 14 months old and i need some ideas on how to discipline her when she does something wrong. I tell her no and she doesn't listen..i've tried hold to her hand and even tapping her hand but it doesn't seem to work! She'll look at me and keep doing whats shes doing...i'm not sure about the whole time out thing, i think she's too young to realize what it is...any ideas?

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Suzanne - posted on 02/23/2010

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I agree with Allie, she needs redirection and to know you are serious. If you are concerned about her knowing what is happening, you can make the time outs shorter until she gets the concept. We called them baby time outs. I would put my daughter in a specific place and leave the room for a just a few seconds at first, just until she realized something different was happening to her, then I returned stood her up and bent down and brought her face to my face, looking in her eyes and tell her why she is in time out, takes 5 seconds and then tell her not to do it again, tell her I love her and give her big hugs. She is now 20 months and she understand time outs very well and hardly ever has to go in time out. I have never smacked hands or any of that. In fact, I use taking away a favor toy to correct undesired behavior in my 3 year old. I have smacked butts, when it is serious, but just to let them know I mean business or it is a life threatening situation. I think overall, time outs work the best!! Best of luck to you!

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Lea - posted on 02/27/2010

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You need to redirect her to what she should be doing. It probably doesn't occur to her to do something different. When my son was her age, he would hit the dog because he thought it was funny when he growled. I did the same thing, held or tapped his hand and said no, and then took his hand and had him pet the dog while telling him "pet him nice". If I saw him about to do it again, I would remind him what he was supposed to do, and then if he did it anyway, he got a 1 min time out. It really worked.

Breda - posted on 02/26/2010

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yes she is a bit 2 young 2 realy no that u mean no try changin ur voice in the way when she is gd it is nice an when she is doin somethin wrong ur voice changes may b a bit harsh she is still a baby it will take awhile but she will come 2 no the differ of both hope this is some help 2 u

Lynette - posted on 02/26/2010

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That's exactly what my son would do Diane, it was usually over picking up toys, he'd be like nah I'll sit in time out instead thanks. It was so hard to be mad at him sometimes.

Diane - posted on 02/26/2010

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@Lynette; I had to laugh about your son placing himself in time out. My daughter does the same thing. At times we will tell her that she has a choice; she can either do x or go to time out. She has surprised us a few times by deciding she would rather sit in time out than do x and will go over and sit herself down with her arms crossed and just wait it out. Hehe.

Lynette - posted on 02/26/2010

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I started my son with timeouts at 1 and it worked really well until we got a dog... so timeouts had to change but they work. He's 3 now and still doesn't like timeouts but it beats a spanking. If you do decide to go with timeouts it's a minute for there age so your son would only get a minute. I used to laugh my son would put himself in timeout sometimes. Just the other day I told my son he could get out of timeout and he told me no, he still needed a minute. Or you can redirect her all day I've been trying that more with my daughter but giving her timeouts when she needs them. Good luck!

Siobhan - posted on 02/26/2010

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We use the naughty step and it really works. We also thought our little one was too young when we started but not so. We put down a pillow in our room and sit him on it saying he is on the naughty step for -hitting or whatever and that is naughty. Then we go away and leave him there for a minute. When we come back we explain again why he is on the naughty step and that what he did was naught and that he has to say sorry. We dont let him get up till he says sorry. When he does we tell him that he is a good boy for saying it and give him a hug and kiss. Good luck!

Wendee - posted on 02/25/2010

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Get the book To Train up a child. It's a biblical approach to child training. I have a two year old and it has changed my life. Most important be consistant. Break any bad habits early and pray pray pray. LOL Good Luck!

Diane - posted on 02/25/2010

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I used time out for my little one starting at about ten months. I used her playpen for the time out and told her it was her calm down and listen spot. I never had a set time, usually it was the amount of time it took for her to calm down if she was throwing a fit or the time it took for me to clean up what ever mess she made that she got in trouble for.
She is two now and we use a corner for time out but I think having the earlier time out in the play pen worked well because she doesn't throw a fit about being put in time out, she knows it is the time to readjust and start listening.

Jess - posted on 02/25/2010

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She's trying to see where the boundries are. Being consistant in whatever you do will show her that she'll always get the same result and it not being what she wants the behavior will stop. What worked for us was first saying "Hitting hurts friends!" then if it happened again right after a time out. NOw she's 3 and one of the few kids in her class who doesn't hit. I'll admit that she's 3 year old and preschoolers are reactive so there's the occasional episode at home but she's usually so upset at doing a "bully thing" that she'll put herself in time out or run to her room

Aggie - posted on 02/24/2010

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I tried the hitting back (just on the buttocks) but she just turned around and whipped me upside the head ... that didn't work obviously, so we tried to put her in the TO wall, and she was ok for a while, then made it into a game and didn't wanna stay, so now every time she is a bad girl I tell her GO SIT DOWN (she knows where I'm talking about) and changes her attitude very quickly. If she still wants to whine and throw herself on the floor I just walk away and let her get it out of her system ... she eventually gets tired of it and makes a total 360 and comes back a happy baby hugging and kissing. What my husband does is he doesn't even get mad at her, he just gently talks to her that it isn't good to yell, or scream, or hit, or bite ... and she listens!!! I know, my hubbs has a big effect on her ... so I try to do it his way and even I feel better that I don't stress out as much and I totally see her NOT throwing fits as much as she use to (she's gonna be 2 on March 31st by the way ... so she KNOWS what she's doing) =)

Amanda - posted on 02/24/2010

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She's testing you...they are VERY smart! And trust me it gets worse (the testing their limits). It's Mom's job to set boundries & be consistant. Mine liked to go in the garbage & take out dirty wipes & stick them in her mouth...so I take her by the hand & make her throw it out.....after a lil while repeating this now all I have to do is say put that back in the garbage & she does it herself. I started when my daughter could move around make a big fuss over her when she does something good...show how happy you are....they LOVE to please. When she does something notty make a drastic change put on a very sad face and bring down the tone of your voice. I try to get down to her level face to face so she can see how sad I am that she has done something wrong. I can tell when it has worked because she will pout..and look like she is going to cry. I tell her in a gentle but still firm voice that mommy is not happy with what she did & that when she's a good girl she makes mommy happy. Showing them with facial expressions realy works.

At times you feel a bit idiotic making all the facial gestures but it is worth it. The more they see praise the less they do notty. And she will understand with time & patience.

Kids are a constant discipline & correction from now till they leave home...makes u miss the first 6 months! lol

Rachel - posted on 02/24/2010

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oh no she is not to young to realize what u are saying. i have a three year old and i found starting a timeout chair or corner seemed to work good for me. also make sure when u are telling her no that its firm and she really understands that u are not happy with her. i kept feeling as though i was being mean in some way but your not they soon understand what they can and cant do. but make sure you are consistent because that is what they will get the most.

Chelsea - posted on 02/23/2010

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I Know how you feel, my son is 16months and he is hitting bitting and head butting and I've tried everything! It is fustrating, but time outs are te best way to go I think, as long as you stick with it and be consitent with it. Make sure you keep yuor child in the chair(or whatever you choose) for I do1min even if you find yuorslef doing timeouts all day soon Ryleigh will figured it out that if she/he dose what he/she is getting a time out for that it will stop. Being Consitant is the number one thing with kids. Hope that helped!

Allie - posted on 02/23/2010

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She is WAY smarter than you think, 14 months is definitely old enough for time out. Essentially you make them sit for one minute per age, so you would put her in the spot (try and keep the spot consistent, we use a small bath mat in a corner) and make her sit on her bottom for one minute. I would suggest the one warning one consequence technique. Use a stern tone and tell her not to do it or TO. At first, I guarantee, she will not get it and possibly make it a game. But just keep setting her back on the spot. Don't talk to her that's a big thing. Just keep putting her back once she sits for approx. a minute explain why she's there and have her give you hugs and kisses. My rules are hitting, biting, pulling hair no warning straight to TO. And remember not to sweat the small stuff.

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