bed time

User - posted on 03/20/2011 ( 15 moms have responded )

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i'm having trouble getting my almost 15 month to sleep in her own bed, she want to sleep with daddy and me, when i put her in her own bed she screams? and rocking her to sleep does not work...

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Jaime - posted on 03/22/2011

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i had this problem before as well and i am a big fan of the cry it out method lol!! she would cry thinking i would come and get her, sooner or later she realized that just because she would cry doesnt mean mommy and daddy are going to come to her aid..i would just tell myself shes not wet shes had dinner and her drink she will be ok if she cried..i think its harder on the parents then it is on the child at least thats how it was for me anyways lol she will get there sooner or later just be patient and try to make bedtime fun for her, let her prepare herself for bed and try to do things on her own. it will help her feel more calm.

Louise - posted on 03/21/2011

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Brandy is right, the crying is about control. She knows it makes you feel bad and she will get her way. Take back control and let her cry a little, resettle her and leave. it will work eventually. It is easier to break the habbit now then in a year or so, so stick with it.

Brandy - posted on 03/20/2011

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when my daughter was little like that we got in a habit of telling her several times before bed that it was almost time for night night then we had a routine of cleaning up and preparing for night night once we were in her room and ready for bed i would walk her around and talk about stuff with her like her letters on her wall etc and i would let her flip the light switch, everything was cool but as soon as i lowered her into her play yard (to small for a toddler bed and was climbing out of the crib) she would start crying and wanted up and of course i felt bad, but i kissed her and told her i would be back to see her when she was sleeping and that i would wake her up in the morning, i left the room and shut the door and after about 5-10 mins of crying she was asleep, this continued for a little while because shes very stubborn and if she heard me make any noise at all she would get really quiet and listen and then start again lol after about a week she stopped doing that, she would get mad but once i was out the door she started playing with her animals and eventually went to sleep.

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Heather - posted on 04/02/2011

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Just a suggestion, I dont think the TV thing is a good idea to get in the habit of, advice from personal experience, I once thought it was a good idea too, until my son got a little older, he is almost 3 now, and Ive realized if the TVs on he will sometimes stay up so late watching TV and not get the sleep he needs. Also it became a must have for so long, and I really dont think kids should depend on a TV for it to become a must have to do something. I understand it works, an seems like an excellent idea, as it did for me at first. But now I have him in a routine, where the TV goes off, we go in for bath time, after bath time, he goes around and gives kisses night night, then we sit in his bed and read a story(story time)--he looks forward to story time every night, I have recently transitioned him into this routine and it is working so far other than the fact that I have to stay in bed with him till he is almost asleep, but I would much rather that than him to stay up half the night watching tv. I plan to work on getting out of the bed right after story time very soon, but I am doing it one step at a time. Keep in mind, young ones do not like or understand massive routine changes in a short amount of time, take it step by step, and do what you feel is best. Just please, keep in mind what I have said about TV at bed time, I worry it will just turn into another problem later for you!

Laura - posted on 04/02/2011

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i winded up putting a tv in my 2 yr olds room. this way she will lay in her crib and watch tv and eventually she would fall asleep

Nicola - posted on 04/01/2011

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I think alot of parents have this problem our little boy is 2 and still dosent like sleeping in his own bed. He points to our room and wants to go i. Our routine he jumps into bed with us me and daddy read him a book then he goes in his bed ok we have the odd night where he kicks up a fuss but we say night turn lights of and within 5mins he snoring away.. We have another lo at 7months and he sleeps right through and goes to bed without no fight bet it Wont last though.. Take each night as it comes it's hard but stay strong iv found putting a quilt on our sons bed has made him feel more comfortable :-) good luck and remember your not on your own everyone goes through it

Sherry - posted on 03/28/2011

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The point of a kid sleeping in their bed is to give you some well deserved time with your spouse. It sounds like you may have let her sleep with you in your bed often prior to this transition. If that is the case it will take longer. Routines are key. Make sure you do the same thing every night. Make sure that part of the routine includes having a quiet time in HER bedroom where you read to her ,sing her some soft lullabyes, or say prayers. This has to happen in the same order every night. I would suggest NOT having her sleep on the floor in your room, but YOU laying on the floor or sitting on a chair in HER room ( with the lights off or just the night light)until she gets settled down, but not asleep. DO NOT lay in the bed with her. This will give her the start of the feeling of relaxing in HER room and HER bed. Once she is settled and relaxed and has been laying there quietly with you off to the side,tell her it's time for her to go to sleep and she has to stay in bed. If she starts to cry, when you leave, let her cry for a few minutes, as long as it's not frantic crying. If she gets out of bed and comes to her just repeat that it's time for bed and she needs to stay in her room and go to sleep. Reassure her that it's OK and you will be right there. Calmly put her back into her room, no talking, no eye contact. Don't react negatively or positively because this will just fuel her to want you more. You will be repeating this process numerous times before she actually gets the idea that you aren't going to budge and she will fall asleep. I am doing this transition with my two year old boy and it is a process. In the beginnning I had to sit in the hallway so that everytime he came out I would promptly usher him back in to his bed. In the beginning he would get out of be 15 or so times, now it's 2 or 3 times and he goes to sleep. Last night I just had to verbally tell him to get back in bed and he did, both times, and then he went to sleep. I've donee the same process with my two other kids and they have been fine in their own beds. I do let them sleep with me when they are sick.
Good luck; don't give up and post how you've done!

Janet - posted on 03/26/2011

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thanks brandy - that was exactly the point i was trying to make - i've done it once with my daughter but thought it was too cruel but other mums say it works so i was just passing it on...........what is good for the goose may not be good for the gander to all those mums that were horrified by my post - the lady asked for help, she doesn't have to follow all the posts............

[deleted account]

Brandy there is a difference between disagreeing and something be "okay". I disagree with those who choose the cry it out method - but respect their choices as parents. we simply have different approaches as parents.

I don't have a problem with a 5 year old camping out on their parent's bedroom floor. To me, forcing a 15 month old to sleep on the floor seems cruel though. that child is really young, and only wants the love and attention of their parent. they do not understand why they are being kicked out of their parents bed. not only are you denying that child the affection they crave, but then you are forcing them to sleep on a hard floor if they want to be near the people who mean the most to them? there is a huge difference in cognitive thinking between a 15 month old and even a 2 year old.

Brandy - posted on 03/26/2011

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why is it not okay hannah just because you do not agree, not everybody raises their kids the same you shouldnt be so quick to judge, ive slept on the floor plety of times and its never harmed me. and im pretty sure that her point was you let them know its okay for them to be in the same room but you dont make it so comfortable that the child doesnt want to sleep in their own room they have an option to go to their own bed to sleep and that is a positive way to encourage that without forcing the issue.

[deleted account]

I am sorry I have to disagree with Janet - I don't think it is okay to make a 15 month old sleep on the floor.

Janet - posted on 03/25/2011

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if she wants to sleep with u and daddy - put a pillow and blanket on the ground next to the bed and say to her if she wants to sleep with u two, then this is where she sleeps - it might take a week, but it works - if that doesn't work maybe put a telly in her room so she can watch it and fall asleep to it

[deleted account]

I am NOT a fan of cry it out - instead I used the "No Cry Sleep Solution" - and it works!

http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solut...

It just felt so wrong to do cry it out for my baby. I just thought that I was in pain, my son was in pain, this is not helpful to either of us. I found a gentler way to achieve the same results.

Today, my son is 3, and we have a simple and easy bedtime routine (under 10 minutes) and he goes to sleep in his own bed without a problem. He wakes up and comes into my bed maybe once or twice a week in the middle of the night, and I am okay with that. I love snuggling with him.

Keri - posted on 03/24/2011

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I'm with you! I am still working on this with my 4 year old! What we usually do is wait until he's drowsy enough not to fight and then put him in his bed and close the door - not all the way, enough for him to open it - and he doesn't seem to care.

Cherish - posted on 03/21/2011

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i now some people don't like the "cry it out" way but my sister was like that with her kids and she never did brake the kids from sleeping in the master bed room. Whoever got in the bed first and went to sleep was the one who slept in the bed each night. It wasn't until her children were like 11 years old that they wanted to sleep in their rooms.

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