Boys are mean!!! Please read!!

Franki - posted on 07/22/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Okay i have a boy Sam who will be three in September, And his little brother Jesse will be two in December. Sam is so mean to Jesse, it is horrible, he walks by and hits him, or takes his toy for no reason at all!!!! He pushes him yells at him, and he is just plain mean! He seemes to be a llittle meaner when it is me home, not when my husband is home, Jesse is very passive and really never does anything to provoke this behavoir from sam. And it all seems to be getting worse. I have just started working agian, and i am wondering if he is just acting out?, yet this behavoir started well before I started to work again, it all started whn we began to move from Cali to Oklahoma, I am hoping it is just a responce to the life changing events that have taken place, I have no idea... I just really hope it ends soon,I am not sure how much more we can take... But then there are also the times where he can be very very sweet and helpful, Is it that he is just bored? We are going to try to put him in a daycare and see if the time out of the house and away from his brother will help. Maybe he is just bored? I dont Know... ant suggestions woould be greatly apprecieated!!! thank you!

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Maggie - posted on 07/22/2009

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I babysit a 22 month old boy and he plays with my daughter (21 months old), and another little girl (19 months old). Now this little boy is very sheltered, never been given a time out, and as far as I can see runs his household. He thinks he is the boss. Now when I started babysitting him, and even to this day, he has pushed, knocked over, hit, and bit the girls. Now he is not as bad as he used to be he's at least stopped biting. However, it take a whole lot of time outs, and talking to him explaining why he can't do those things. It is exhausting, but it helps. He gets them quiet regularly but they are slowing down. The only bad thing is, I start over with him EVERY DAY because he parents cave into what he wants when he wants it. He gets away with that stuff at home, but not in my home and that makes things difficult. I have even told the parents that they need to start doing these things. Don't ask him for a time out, give him one! Don't ever asak your child if they want a time out or to be sent to their room, just do it. They will get the hint eventually.

I don't know what your policy is on time outs, but if you don't have them I suggest adding them in. Get a chair or a mat in a quiet area, or a corner and leave him there for 4 minutes (1 minute per age). If he gets up, put him back and start the timer over again until he stays for his full time out. Once it's over explain to him what he did was wrong, and that he needs to appologize to your little boy, or whom ever he is mean to. Take privledges away from him. At 4 he will know that if he does something wrong, then he will get a toy, tv,taken away or something to that effect. Consistancy is the key though. If you're not going to fall through then it won't work.

I hope that everything works out for you and your family. Good Luck!

Jenny - posted on 07/22/2009

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i had exaually the same problem with my two girls,i just got them to play together with me ,and plenty of praise helped,i also did a star chart for when they played together nicely they got a star on there chart and after so many stars they got a treat,there just fighting for your attention you just need to show them that they only get it when they behave are behaving nicely with each other and there are consequences when they don;t ie time out im sure things will work out in the e-nd all the best+

Anne - posted on 07/22/2009

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I can't offer any advice but I deal with the same thing. I have a 2 1/2 year old son and a 9 month old son. I think with my 2 year old it is a jealousy thing becasue he is no longer the only child. He has been getting better and being nicer to his brother but no whenever i tell Chris (9 mos) not to do something he will go over to him and tell him no and hit him. I am hoping it is something they just outgrow.

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