Brady still won't sleep through the night..

Tiffanie - posted on 04/21/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My son Brady, who is 2, still doesn't sleep through the night. We made the mistake of letting Brady sleep with us when he was younger because we breast-fed and it was easier (for me) to have him right beside me. Now he no longer breast-feeds and just uses his binkie and rubs our ear to fall asleep. Brady goes down very easily as long as we are there for him to play with our ears, but if his binkie falls out of his mouth or he thinks I left the bed, he starts crying and wakes up until I lay back down with him. How do I solve this? What can I do? I eventually want him to sleep in his own bed, but the thought of even trying scares me. In school, he goes down for his nap fine, without anyone touching him or without him playing with their ears, as long as he has them in his sights, but even there, he wakes up from nap time crying, which wakes up the other children. Anyone have any advice for me??

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Erin - posted on 04/22/2009

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I am also having this problem. My son is 22 months and sleeps in a toddler bed. I tried letting him cry himself to sleep when he was in a crib and he would cry for 45+ minutes. My husband would end up getting him out of the crib because he didn't like him crying for that long. He wakes up in the middle of the night and walks across the house and climbs in to my bed. I don't even realize he is there until about 4:00 in the morning. He can open doors so I can't close his bedroom door. I was thinking about putting up a baby gate so I would have to hear him before making it to my room, is that wrong or a good idea?

Dana - posted on 04/22/2009

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Hi there, Sounds like my story 6 months ago. My son even does the ear thingy, it drives me crazy! lol. But, we tried every way to get him to sleep on his own and the only thing that worked for us was to talk to him and tell him that mommy and daddy can't sleep in his bed and if he wants something to sleep with he could pick his favorite toy of the day. And we let him know that even if he cried we still won't be able to sleep with him. My son cried for the first week for 20mins at a time and then we'd go in and check on him but after a week he knew to get his toy and say goodnight by himself. I think they just need to relearn how to fall asleep on their own, it can take a bit of work but it's better than having a ten year still sleeping in your bed...I also suggest a night light and leaving the bedroom doors open (yours and his). Good luck!

Esther - posted on 04/22/2009

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I'm not a fan of the CIO method. It seems to me that you can't blame the baby for having gotten used to falling asleep with mom & dad there and it doesn't make sense to me to make him suffer for it. Btw - I don't blame you either, that's just what worked for you & now you want something else. I also don't think letting them cry teaches them anything. They will undoubtedly fall asleep eventually from sheer exhaustion and they may even give up on crying or calling out for you altogether at some point but to me that is just a sign that they have given up on communicating with you. So I would try to find a more gentle approach.



Maybe you can try to get him attached to a lovey who's ears he can play with. Maybe you can try inching away from him slowly while singing to him or something along those lines. Just keep trying different things until you find something that works for you.



My son has slept in his own crib since he was 8 weeks old (which makes things a little easier of course) but he was used to being rocked to sleep. I wouldn't put him in the crib until he was sound asleep and then I would have to very carefully make my way from the rocking chair to the crib, avoid any creaking floorboards and not make any false move. That was challenging enough when he was very little, but now that he's bigger and heavier, it became next to impossible. So I had to figure out a way to get him to fall asleep on his own in his crib. What I did (and this is actually an adapted technique from supernanny) is to create a slightly more elaborate bedtime routine. We say goodbye to all the stuffed animals in his room and put them down to go to sleep as well. We also wave to the animals in the pictures on his wall. Then I sit down with him in the rocking chair and give him one last bottle in the dark. After that I would put him in his crib (while still awake) and sit down on the floor next to the crib with my back turned to the crib (no eye contact is very important). I would ignore him from that point on, unless he cried. He would throw binkies at me, pull my hair, call my name, laugh out loud, throw some animals out of his crib, anything and everything he could think of to get my attention. But I would ignore it all. Eventually he would lay down and go to sleep (or lay down, get up, try some more, lay down again etc.). The first night it took 40 mins, after about 2 weeks I was down to 5 mins and now I can leave the room right away, even when he's still awake.



I had tried something similar before but I would sit down in the chair next to the crib in stead of on the floor. For some reason, that was unacceptable and he would cry. He was more comfortable with me on the floor next to him. We also recently had a set-back after he had been sick for 2 days and then I had to stand next to him instead of being allowed to sit down. As soon as I stood up, he would drop and go to sleep. That took a day or 2 and then we were back to normal. So you may have to just try a few different things to see what works for you & your son. Good luck!

Misty - posted on 04/22/2009

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Hi Lore. This is a tuff one. I remember an episode of the Super Nanny where she dealt with kids who didn't want to stay in their bed, but unfortunately I can't remember what she said to do. What I would try is talking about it before hand like telling her "ok, tonight you are going to sleep in your bed and be a big girl and if you do you can have a treat" something like that. They say that children need a calm down routine at bedtime so we always lay the child in bed and read a book. This will also establish a new routine for your child. I would say if she comes out just keep putting her back in. That first night might be pretty hard but don't give up or give in, because once you say this is what is going to happen, you are in it to win it at that point because if you give in then it will only make it that much harder the next time you try.

Misty - posted on 04/22/2009

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I think Kristin Trowbridge gave good advice. This is going to be hard and he is going to cry a lot, but the longer you wait to make a change the harder it will be. Our children never slept with us but I do remember nights that I would have to just let my daughter cry it out because her pacifier fell out of her mouth and I refused to get up every time she couldn't find her paci. 5 minutes of crying in the middle of the night can seem like an eternity, but they do eventually give up and then she learned how to go to sleep on her own without the paci or someone rocking her.

Lore - posted on 04/21/2009

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My daughter is two and has never slept with us, but falls asleep on her little couch in the living room. I've tried to put her couch in her room so she would atleast be falling asleep in her room but she won't have it. I put her in her bed, but she just cries and gets out. Over and over... How do I get her to stay in her bed?

Kristin - posted on 04/21/2009

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My son is 21 months old and he actually just started sleeping through the night when he was 18 months. Dawson just like Brady went down for naps and bedtime very easily, but he wouldnt sleep through the night. One thing that is different between the both of them is that Dawson did sleep in his own bed, but I understand that breastfeeding him was much easier for you while keeping Brady in your bed. My suggestion is to go "cold turkey"-- what I mean is to put him his crib and let him fall alseep on his own. I am sure he will cry, but just try to stay in your own room unless you completely feel like his crying is too hard. Go into his room, calm him down, but do not pick him up. You might have to do this several times until he realizes that something is different. After a few possible evenings of this, he might just sleep straight through and you will wake up in your own bed with a good night sleep. I hope this helps. This is what we did with Dawson even though it was very hard for me to do. Plus I got rid of the baby monitor but now sleep with my bedroom door open so I can hear if he needs me.

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