can anyone tell me me how to break a 19 moth old of saying the word no to you?

Lindsey - posted on 05/12/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

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any time i ask my daughter cheyenne to do something weather its eating, picking up toys, messing with stuff she alwasy tells me no!!! help me and give me some things i can try i have tried time out and i have tried to try not saying no i would say please stop or other ways!!!

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Amanda - posted on 05/26/2010

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She is learning her boundaries and testing them to see how far they will go. be consistent and if necessary reprimand her.

Grace - posted on 05/26/2010

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send her to timeout until she does whatever the task is. We give our son the option of eating at the table or sitting in time-out....with no toys etc.

Hush - posted on 05/26/2010

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I get her to express her need but tell me why or what she waants, she needs to elaborate more. When She wont choose out of two things throwing a third option in usually works if it doesnt the i say its compulsory and take one option away. if she then doesnt choose i take another option away and hes has to have it if she wont eat it it keeps coming back out when hungrey or if its clothes I tell her she is getting cold and mummy doesnt want her sick feel mummy she is warm cause she has clothes on...etc

Heather - posted on 05/25/2010

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I do the reverse and make a statement like "I need to clean up since you are just to little to help me" If you keep saying something to this effect they want to show you how big they are.

Candice - posted on 05/25/2010

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do you really want your child to learn that they aren't allowed to speak when they are unhappy? saying no to everything is a stage, they are learning they have a voice. They are asserting their independence. unfortunately, they also have to learn that sometimes we do things we don't want to do as well. tell her it's fine that she doesn't want to, but she has to anyway. it's fine that she SAYS no, as long as she does what she has to do. it's not the word you need to stop, it's the behaviour.

Ann Marie - posted on 05/24/2010

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I try to usually give my 2 1/2 year old daughter a choice of two things that are both acceptable - "Do you want to eat a balogna sandwich or some yogurt?" Then "no" is not a reasonable answer. Sometimes she replies with something like "I want chocolate" :-) . But I tell her "You can't have chocolate, but you can have a balogna sandwich or some yogurt." After a round or two of this she usually chooses one of the acceptable answers and is happy to cooperate. If you get into the habit, you can get through most of the day by giving them choices instead of letting them say no.

Also, if you're trying to get the toddler to stop playing and move on to something new, it helps to give them a warning. "We're going to play for 2 more minutes, and then we're going to clean up and go upstairs for bathtime."

And specifically for cleaning up, go on YouTube and look up the "clean up song". It helps me get my daughter motivated to help me pick up her toys.

With these tricks, I get most of the "no!" answers when she's overtired... and there's not much you can do about that except make sure they get a nap on time!

Margaret - posted on 05/19/2010

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Its just a phase of their learning. my daughter does the same and so did her older sister. they say no even if they mean yes so dont punnish her, just encourage her to say yes, it is just a phase and will pass

Amy - posted on 05/19/2010

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Oh, and there are some offenses that our kids get no warnings for. These are things that I find they shouldn't need reminding about. For example, if I see one of the kids hit the other one, whoever hit goes into time out immediately. No warning, no talking about it, just into time out.

Amy - posted on 05/19/2010

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19 month olds do understand time-outs. If you express disapproval and then put them in a corner or someplace that has no toys, etc, they will understand that what they just did was unacceptable. We usually do 2 warnings as well, and if they don't respond by then, it's into time out. A good rule of thumb for time outs is 1 minute for each year of life, and it has to be immediately after the offense for them to understand the cause/affect relationship. I've also found that reminding kids what the consequence will be if they don't mind is a good deterrent to bad behavior.

Rachel - posted on 05/16/2010

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We've tried stop with ours and she just looks at us and keeps on doing what she does, so we give her 2 warnings then a pop on the rear and take her away from it. It works for us and she doesn't hit us at all.

Nerissa - posted on 05/16/2010

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I have found that sometimes our lovely little angels think that it is a game, and if you want an instant stop to this game reply 'why not?'. The famous 'n' word is a no-no in our house, we use 'stop' instead. I gets her attention fast, and she uses it on other kids at daycare, instead of hitting - hopefully.

Rachel - posted on 05/15/2010

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I've never told my little girl "no" I usually use a verbal noise like "ahht" or "I don't think so little miss". It usually works, but if the 1st two time that she doesn't listen I do pop her on the rear and take either what she's getting in to away or I take her away from the thing swe wants. Also it helps if your helping her pick up her toys, show her that a clean room is a happy room. Suggest to her that maybe she should pick up her toys for either a reward/treat or if that doesn't work try this; if she has a favorite story tell her she has to wait till her toys are picked up for you to read it to her. Those are my suggestions it's worked with my 4 yr old and now it's doing wonders with my 15 month old. I've been told by other moms she very well rounded for her age. Hope this helps!! Good Luck

Kathy - posted on 05/15/2010

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it's a phase that all kids go through. my DD did the same thing around that age and it drove me nuts but i never let on that it annoyed me. she would say no when she meant yes.



what we did was whenever she said no to things that we asked her to do like pick up toys or whatever, i would ask her again and if she still said no, i would bring her over and say in a more firm voice and say: i'm not asking you. now, please pick up your toys and put them on the table. sometimes she'd resist and i'd just stand there and wait for her; most of the time she listens. the key is to be consistent in your response and to not yell. i'm not sure if a 19mos truly knows what a 'time out' is so we've never done that but always responding in a consistent and firm manner always helps.



oh, and you have to be consistent with what you're ok with vs what you're not willing to let slide ie. you always ask her to put her toys away. if you let it slide sometimes and get angry other times, she won't get the message. toddlers are all about testing limits and they will test and retest the same rules! it's pretty frustrating!!

Amy - posted on 05/13/2010

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My son is 2 1/2 and he used to say no alot. I did along the lines of what Katrina suggested. I stopped saying no all the time and started telling him "We don't do that because......" I found out that once I started explaining things to him he stopped telling me no. He started listening to me and stopped doing a lot of those things.

Erin - posted on 05/13/2010

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They learn the word no from us so my best advise would be try not to say it to her. At this age they are learning the language and boundries from us and we are constantly telling them no, so they're going to imitate us. Anyway my 2 yr old son says it all the time so good luck with that one:)

CRYSTAL - posted on 05/13/2010

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well it is also a part of them learning their language skills and independence, so you will not get them to completely stop using the word.....but Katrina has all the right suggestions for helping to teach her to not use it inapropriately!

Katrina - posted on 05/12/2010

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NO..is a hard habit to break. It takes consistancy, everytime she plays with something shes not supposed to and you ask her to please stop and she says no, try putting her in time out for 1 minute everytime! Also try praising her when she doesnt argue, if she does so something you ask, let her know how good she is for listening. I know I didnt like my daughter saying that work all the time. Best of luck!

www.internetceomoms.com/katrinamiller

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