cant take No as a answer


Theresa - posted on 03/18/2010




What ever you do don't give in or she will never learn that the bahavior is not acceptable. As I see it you have a couple of choices. 1) Let her have her tantrum right there on the floor (doesn't work so well if you're in the middle of a store, I'll address that later). You just say "I'm sorry you're upset, but Mommy said no." Then walk away. You can leave it there or go on to 2. 2) Put her in her room when she has a tantrum. Again say something very simple, then shut her door and leave. You can go back in after a few minutes and see if she wants to be done and come out happy. If she's not ready leave her for a few more minutes, then check again. I found with my kids when I checked they just started crying harder. So I would put them in their room and say "When you're done crying and you're ready to be happy you can come out." I think 3 is old enough to understand that. They would eventually come out. Sometimes they wanted to be cuddled a bit, sometimes they were just ready to play.

You can either start with 1 and leave it there. Or start with 1 and go on to 2. Or just start with 2. Whatever you feel works best for you and her. Try it a couple different ways first until you figure out what works best, once you figure it out, be consistant. if you give in, then you'll be back to square one. It won't totally "cure" her behavior. She'll need to test it out once in awhile just to see if you still mean it, just like every other behavior a child pulls. :)

If you're in a store be prepared to walk out after a warning when she starts tantruming. Leave the cart full of groceries or whatever. After a couple times of that she'll learn that it doesn't work in public either. Yes ppl will stare and maybe even glare at you, but I can guarentee they'll do that if you let her tantrum in the store too. Besides, who cares what others think. Do what's best for both of you regardless of what others think.

Being really tough with it now will save you a lot of headache as she gets a little older. Be prepared for a few rough times of dealing with her at first. She'll be vey resistant. She wants her way, we all do. It's human nature. But putting your foot down consistantly will show her that you are in charge and it won't always be her way. When she starts getting that concept and starts accepting your no you can reward her once in awhile by saying how proud you are and since she was so good you think she deserves a treat. Don't give her what she was originally wanting, but something. It may even be just a bit of your time to play a game or something. Don't do it every time though or she'll start thinking that she needs to get "paid" to behave. Good luck.


View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms