Childs father threat for full custody??? Help???

KKC - posted on 05/06/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




Ive been in this relationship with my son's father for almost 10 years. Our son is 5 years old and has a great relationship with his dad. I purchased a home when our son was 6 months old and at that time he was not working. I was making 50k/year and carried the entire household for at least 3 years while he stayed home and continued to look for work and watched our son so we wouldnt have an extra daycare expense. He began working in retail 2009 and is still with the same company. In the meantime I have been laid off twice and now have unemployment income coming in. He told me thay I could go back to school and he would take care of us. I did exactly that- I went back to school- now a year later my home is in active foreclosure. He thought it would be a good idea for me to file bankruptcy to keep my house....I listened only because we have a child. I explained to him that I wanted to move on with me life and start over. Everything I own is in my name- house, car, everything in my house I bought. My parents are retired and just purchased a 4 bedroom 3000 sq foot house 10 mins from my sons and my school. They have invited my son and I to move in with them until I graduate in two months and get another place to live. I have the option to dismiss my bakruptcy and change our life but my childs father is threatning to take me to court for full custody if I dont stay in the bakruptcy and try to work out our relationship. He says because I am losing my house and on unemployment that he would get full custody??? Can that happen although we would be living in a safe loving environment? I dont know what to do. This man has no college degree (I have one and a registered skill Ive gone to school for), could not keep a job until the one I got for him 3 years ago at a retail store, no car, and has been living with me since before I purchased the home we live in now. He has great credit only because everything is in my name and has a job history and can go out and purchase whatever he needs to "appear" to be a responsible parent. I dont hate him, he is a great father but he stated plainly that he would fight me in court if I didnt just AGREE to let him have him. I don't know what to do


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Nicky - posted on 05/06/2012




I agree with both of these ladies. Do what is best for you and your son! I can speak from personal experience with a situation almost like this. If you have been the main care giver for your son for most of his life.. YOU will keep custody! It doesnt matter if you are living with your parents as long as your child has his own bedroom, clothes, toys etc... I know for sure his own bedroom is a major thing with the courts. I had my sons fathers over night visitaion taken away from him because my son did not have his own room when he stayed there. I wouldnt worry about what he says. He is trying to scare you into staying with him because you are more stable then he is. Dont listen! He will not win custody. They almost always grant custody to the mother. Do you already have custody established in the courts? If not and you plan on moving out and doing whats best.. you should take him to court to establish visitation rights for him. GOODLUCK HUN!

KKC - posted on 05/06/2012




Thank you ladies for the encouragement. I have been chatting with my family and Im ready to make a move. Also -did a little research myself and feel much better about the situation.

Michelle - posted on 05/06/2012




I agree with Rachel you are moving in with your parents which is a stable environment for your son and keeping a roof over his head no judge will take a child away from his mother unless it is not safe for the child. He is being manipulative and playing on your fears to get his own way. Figure out what is best for you and your son and go forward from there

Rachel - posted on 05/06/2012




OK i am just going to give you my opinion Stop listening to him. Do what is best for you and your son. He will not get full custody unless you are an unfit parent. Having financial problems does not make you a bad parent it makes you human. Good luck and stop listening to him

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