Christmas Card Dilemma???????

Michelle - posted on 11/02/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have a 3 year old and a 21 month old together. Well my husband also has two sons from a previous marriage. The oldest (16 years old) lives with us, however the 11 year old does not. We are wanting to send out a photo Christmas card this year but are torn at what to do. The 11 year old wants nothing to do with us, is it a bad thing to not include him on the Christmas card???? Help!!!!

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Davie - posted on 11/03/2009

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no..one day he will understand..i was that way too, my parents were divorced, and my step dad has 3 other kids..i would go to my grandparents while they visited, i was around 6 at the time..dont worry too much, he will get older and understand..its not a bad thing, include his name on the card, instead of putting your last name, put everyones on the card..he will see that @ least you tried

Carolee - posted on 11/03/2009

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If he doesn't want to be in the photos, don't force him. My cousin has a situation like this. The 11 year-old is probably just working out some anger issues, and you never know IF or when he'll get over them. If the ex-wife is behind his anger, there's probably no way to make him be a part of your blended family. Let him decide, though, and make sure he knows that you all still love him, even if he wants nothing to do with you.

Dawn - posted on 11/02/2009

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I agree with the others. Ask him to be in it, make him feel that you acutally want him in it and are not doing it out of obligation and if he says no do it without him. When people ask why he is not in it simply say he chose not to and leave it at that.

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I'd invite him to join in the picture and let his be his decision whether or not he wants to be in it. That way people won't wonder why the 16 year old's brother isn't in the picture and if they do you can say, "He chose not to be photographed with us."

Sally - posted on 11/02/2009

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I'd say invite him to participate, let him know that you are doing this as a family, you would like him to be part of it and let him decide what he is going to do. If he decides not to be in the picture then that is the decision he has made. The rest of the family should do the Christmas picture and send the card out!

Amanda - posted on 11/02/2009

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I feel that you should send it out anyway without his picture. You could force him, but why? You have a big happy family, regardless of whether he is in the pic or not. You can't force another human being to not be a butthead, lol :)

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