clingy two year old

Gillian - posted on 05/25/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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how can i get me two year old son to be less clingy? i cant leave the room but he is following me. cant go to the toilet or for a bath until he is sleeping. i have been a single parent most of his life so that wont help. i want to get back out to work byt at the moment its impossible. please help!!!!!!!!!!!

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Rachel - posted on 05/25/2009

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You need to start showing tough love. Even though it is hard to hear your child cry - it is important that he understands you need "mommy time" and he needs to accept that. Start making him have a little time by himself playing with a favorite toy or "reading" a book. It takes a little time for this to happen but after awhile he will enjoy that time to himself. You just CANNOT give in everytime he cries for your attention. You can't neglect him but you need to help him grow some independence.

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Kat - posted on 06/10/2009

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I'm a working single mom and my daughter is in childcare. When I drop her off she cries, but after a while she settles down and plays normallly with the other children. When I pick her up she is clingy again, so I make easy things for dinner (quick prep, longer bake time) so she gets the one on one time she needs. I also have her bedtime set so she sleeps from 7pm to 6:30am, which is early for me, but allows me to have the time at night to clean up after she's gone to bed. After a while she becomes more independent and I'll have a month or two away from the clingy stage, but she comes back to it. I just tell myself that soon enough she'll be a teenager and won't want anything to do with me, so I should cherish the time I get now!

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Childcare is definetly a good thing for parents that want to go back to work. Dont feel bad. It wont take long for your child to love his new care providers and his new friends. Interacting with children his age will promote a more healthy understanding of how he should interact with others, including you. And dont feel bad to shut the door behind you when you go to the bathroom. Just make sure that there is nothing he can get into that will be potentially dangerous when you are in there. More than likely, he will sit next to the bathroom door banging on it and crying. At least you will know exactly where he is and that he isnt getting into anything. It may sound mean, but he wont get hurt from crying for a few minutes. And he will get over it within a few seconds. Plus, he will learn that when the door is shut, you will be right back. And if you dont open it until you are done, he will learn that the door will not open just because he is crying.

Leanne - posted on 06/07/2009

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Sounds like he needs to interact with other kids his age.The longer you leave it the harder it will get.Believe me ive been there.Sounds like he has seperation anxiety,my daughter was the same until l enrolled her into daycare.Shes a different child now.Also its their age where they cling to mum but unless you start to have days away from him it will only get worse..Two is a good time to get him into daycare even 2 days a week where he can interact with the other kids without you being there.Also helps them to be independant.Good Luck

Frankee - posted on 05/25/2009

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take him to child care and as hard as it is, jus leave him there, he'll cry and scream blue murder when u leave but after a while he'll calm down and find its actually fun at child care. he'll scream for a few weeks, maybe months when u leave him but eventually he'll wanna go and will want u to leave as soon as possible. it worked with my clingy 2 yr old whos now almost 3 and he tells me to go away as soon as he gets to child care

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