Coping With Seperation Anxiety

Shaina - posted on 10/13/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son, who is 22 months, is going through what I think is seperation anxiety. He doesn't want to seperate from me or my husband. He does tend to cling to me a little more. Even if we are in the same room he doesn't want to go to anyone else. I know this is a normal stage but I am trying to figure out ways to help my family understand. I think they forget sometimes that he is still a baby. He has alwasy been such a great child, never cried much and was always happy and friendly. They are really trying to be too hard on him and always asking me what's wrong with him.

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Nicole - posted on 10/16/2010

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My son was going through the same thing at about a year old. BUT he only wanted me. He wanted nothing to do with daddy. This worried me bc we have another one on the way. We thought it would be a good idea to put him into daycare twice a week. He is doing great and he will actually play with daddy and have cuddle time with him

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My son has regular separation anxiety issues.
First, I NEVER forced anyone to hold him, or purposely kept him away from me when I am in the room. That, to me, just seems like HORRBLE TORTURE. Ask your child if they would like grandma to hold them? if they say yes, great! if they say no, well grandma will have to grow a thick skin and learn to not be offended. I founjd asking my child if he wanted to be held, usully yielded better results than just making the choice for him and handing him over.

Additinally, my son does not like to have his hair ruffled, cheeck pinched, etc. I just tell people he has personal space issues and to please not take it personally. He will come to them when he is ready.

Even to this day, my mom who LOVES my mom, and spends almost every weekend playing at her house, doesn't go straight to her. As she sais, he has a warming up period. She has learned, to say hello to him, and then continue on, when he is ready, he will come up to her and give her the biggest hug and sweetest kisses. He is now almost three BTW

Brandy - posted on 10/16/2010

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i saw something on pbs about some of the things parents do to help their children cope with separation anxiety one parent gave her son one kiss on his hand everytime she left as the final kiss so he would know what to expect each time he got that kiss. another thing that parents did was have who ever was with the child calm him down after they left by drawing a picture and helping him write a letter to his mom to give her when she came back. what we try to do is get jenna involved in something fun so she doesnt freak out we always tell her were leaving and when we'll be back like after she wakes up or what ever is normal for her routine that she knows but then whoever has her immediately starts some kind of activity with her, and that usually works for us. when jenna was younger like 12months she was always crying when i left the room even if i just put one foot over the gate she would freak out and her developmental therapist told me that one thing that might help is by showing her that when something is gone its not always permanent by playing peekaboo in doorways and hiding toys etc.. it did seem to make things a little better. maybe if your family helps you by doing some of these things they will understand a little more. but i dont know. or maybe when they ask you whats wrong with him you should say i dont know what do you think is wrong? instead of judging they might just come to the conclusion that its normal or they might have some useful ideas.

Sasha - posted on 10/13/2010

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My daughter is 15 month's old and she was doing this at around 13 month's. I would have to say to her mummy and daddy love you very much but you have to play with your toy's abit and let mummy and daddy go and she would just look at my vrying so i would play with her with her toy's then when she got really focused on what she was doing i would walk away. I hope this help's.

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