Extreme Tantrums

Lauren - posted on 06/25/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My 2 1/2 year old occasionally throws these completely horrible tantrums, complete with screaming, crying hysterically, flailing all around, and so on. Tonights lasted a half an hour! Nothing I do works, Any advice on how to calm her down and also keep my cool too, so I dont do something I might regret???

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Dorothea - posted on 06/26/2009

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My little girl just turned 3 in May, she throws the ultimate terrible fits. Not everyday, but at least 4-5 times a week. Tonight her fit lasted 45 minutes! I tried time-outs, spankings, and just totally ignoring it, nothing worked! Finally, I have found that if I let her throw her tantrum for about 15 minutes, then I kneel down in front of her, take her by her hands and tell her, softly (through her screaming), "I love you", then I hug her (she's usually reluctant to hug me at first), then about a minute or two of hugging, she calms down. Then I sit down and hold her for about another 15 minutes, then very calmly, I ask her why she was throwing such a fit, and that I don't like it when she does that because her screaming hurts my ears. Then I ask her: "Are you going to throw anymore fits?" (usually she says no) Then I tell her, "You are a good girl, you don't need to scream like that", then I tell her I love her, and its usually over. By then she usually has tired herself out enough that she goes to sleep (Thank God!). You can try this if you want. It's not really disciplining her for throwing the fit, but I think that when a child this young throws a fit like this, they are probably feeling out of control, and just need to be reassured that we are there for them.

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Lauren - posted on 06/27/2009

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Thanks, I will try to go about it a little differently next time. Hopefully it will work! I can't take much more!

Katherine - posted on 06/26/2009

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That's how I see it...at that point, they need someone to help them come down... (still hoping it won't last for years to come!)

Katherine - posted on 06/25/2009

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Same deal here...I've had it last up to 90 mins in the middle of the night before, usually when suddenly waking (and probably 'coz I won't just plop a boob in his mouth...). It's awful, I know. I just ride it out, and remind myself constantly he barely knows what he's doing; it's described as a tsunami of emotion or whatever and they can't communicate it in any other way...

[deleted account]

Yep same here...the ONLY thing that I see work is consistency with discipline and sometimes ignoring them! In most cases that I've noticed my son will raise more hell if I'm giving into it! Yes sometimes I give in and yell back or something cuz I'm at my wits end but I've noticed that arguing or yelling back at a toddler usually makes it worse lol. Do the same discipline rituals like putting them in the corner walk away if they wont stay there just keep putting them there and walk away over and over and dont show emotion lol...its hard I know...orrrr like store situations where you dont want them freaking out while ur trying to run to the nearest corner to hide lol...try reeeeally hard to get their mind off of the problem like OOOOH look at the car or choo choo or princess...they will most likely remember they were mad and cry again but it can buy time haha. That's all I got...you may have tried all of this too!? Good Luck!

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