First time mom of twins, how do i gain patience?

[deleted account] ( 7 moms have responded )

Hi everyone, I am a first time mom of fraternal twin boys age 1. They are starting the tantrum throwing. How do I become patient? Its hard and I get frustrated with them. Especially my youngest twin, he has a lot of teeth and when he gets mad about something he bites anything (or anyone) near him. Any advice?

Thank you in advance,

LaTisha

7 Comments

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Anita - posted on 12/03/2009

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My mum always said 'take a handful of patience out of the air' lol. It's so hard with little ones isn't it. My two are 10 months apart (5 months and 15 months) and I am exhausted every day. I had post natal depression but am slowly getting better. When I have really bad days I have to just sit still for a minute (with all the screaming and crying going on around me lol) and think about someone worse off than me (like my mother and father for example who are still raising a disabled child or my friend who has 4 children and her marriage has just fell appart and she also has a disabled child...), sounds horrible but it's the only thing that gets me by...my 15 month old is high needs and I can totally understand the frustration in dealing with 2 little ones. Here is hoping it gets better...

Someone told me in anther post to 'reward good behaviour and ignore the bad behaviour' so maybe try this. I know boys can be more full on than girls. My son started throwing tantrums a few months ago and he is only 15 months old. It's hard to discipline when they are so young but it needs to be done otherwise it just gets worse, beleive me as I am having big problems now because I have been letting my son get away with a lot thinking that he is too young for discipline. Good luck

[deleted account]

That is hard age even just having one child...let alone twins...I have a little girl who just turned 2..I also have 3 other children....Maddy (2 year old) is the only one who has thrown fits and I was at my wits end at first. You cant discipline a 1 year old..so what do you do? With my daughter I have found that picking her up and removing her from the situation placing her in the playroom by herself ...in her chair and telling her when you be nice you can come out...it usually stops shortly after that...and she comes out..I then ask her if she is going to be nice now.... and most time she will say " I be nice now". I have found the book..." What to expect the Toddlers years" to be helpful and gives lots of good ways to defuse the situation..its from the same lady who wrote..the what to expect while expecting" book. I hope you buy it...it has helped me allot. Good Luck mommy..you have your hands full...love to you.

Valerie - posted on 12/01/2009

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one minute at a time...do you have a highchair? I would sternly and loudly say no biting and then put him in the high chair for a couple of minutes. then i would turn to the other twin and say "thank you for not biting" I would ask the one who bit if he is ready to play peacefully? If he says yes I would give him a hug too...kids want your approval so when he sees his sibling get attention for not biting it will get his attention

Sunserae - posted on 12/01/2009

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Hi LaTisha, just walk away & let your little ones have their tantrums. As much as you just want to rip your hair it's their way of trying to communicate with you. My daughter is now 3 & her tantrums are getting worse especially when she doesn't get her own way. I simply tell her she can have her tantrum & walk away from her until she's calmed down. I'm not a patient person & like you I get frustrated that's why I find it best just to let her vent out her anger & walk away from it. They will calm down after a minute or 2 then want their mummy. I'm sorry to say but it doesn't get better as they get older (my brother also warned me of this). Good luck with it all xo

Monyetta - posted on 11/30/2009

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well I have a 11month and a 22month old girls so basically ignore them when they do it that way when they see that their not wearing mom down they'll stop as lond as they see you get upset or overwelmed they'll keep doing it

Melissa - posted on 11/30/2009

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Try not to be too hard on yourself. Patience is a virtue but it doesn't come easy with 1 year old twins. Sometimes, i walk out on the deck when i feel I might loose it and yell. I don't want to be a yeller. I try to tell myself that they can't communicate they way they might like and tantrums are their way of showing their displeasure. I try to calmly explain why they cannot do something like sit on their sister to steal a toy from her or open the cupboard and play with the food inside. I acknowledge that they are upset about it and then try to move on from the situation by going in to another room or distracting them with a toy. I don't do time out yet as I don't think they get it at 13 months. Good luck. Twins are quite a challenge, huh?

Tracy - posted on 11/30/2009

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Hiya, I tried literally counting to 10, my girl bite a few times, it was finding a way to eiter diffuse the situation before she kicked off, looking for the tel tale signs and doing something about it to diffuse the situation before hand, or the threat of removing a special toy inot the naughty box worked well.ressed is better than no attention, a naughty spot may work. try to remeber to praise really good behaviour to offset the difference between the two. Any attention or you getting st Remember this phase will not last forever. Good luck, Tracy

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