help

Stephanie - posted on 07/06/2010 ( 15 moms have responded )

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my son is scaring me he thinks its funny to put a pallow over my face and sit on my chest and push down with all his weight im afraid to spank him im afraid it might teach him more violence how should i handle this

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Lisbeth - posted on 07/07/2010

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Well if it is your three year old he is old enough to understand that that can hurt so you should teach him it is not funny and that hurting anyone is not funny and I say you start to tell and teach him do on to others as you would like done on to you. Also he is old enough to be put on time out. What I would do is the 1-2-3 method which is you give him a warning to stop then tell him I am going to count to three if by three you have not stopped you will be having a time out. Make sure you follow through and be consistent. DON'T make false threats as he will only get worse. Good Luck

Deborah - posted on 07/07/2010

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i see from your profile that your son is about 3, he is definitely old to know better. He can understand that it hurts you. I would first figure out where he got this behavior from, I doesn't seem like it is something a child could up with on his own at this age. If he did, i would actually look for other signs of violence, or strange behavior that most kids don't do. He could actually have a problem. Some kids have hormonal imbalances and such things, this can cause them to be very violent and dangerous. Now this could simply be a case of your child doing what he has seen, or just not realizing he is really hurting you. Make sure when you are telling him not to do these things you keep a straight stern face, no giggling, laughing or smiling or else he will think it's a joke. if you do see other things about his behavior that worry you talk to his doctor about what you observe and get their opinion.

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Laura - posted on 08/07/2010

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Try getting ahead of him. If you see him on his way to you sit up and distract him or change the subject. He may see attention from what he is doing. I'd guess he has seen that somewhere. I wouldn't suggest violence as it seems he is seeing enough somewhere. Tickle him, go for an ice cream, read a book, ride bike(toddler bikes with no pedals are the rave right now Skuut, Mini Glider, KaZam etc..). Get some of that energy out in a positive way. You may find you and he have more fun than stress. All the best

Stephanie - posted on 08/06/2010

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i want to thank every one for their points on this subject and i know the think i alowed were wrong im still learning as a teenage mother i made really bad judgment calls and i have completely changed his watching habitts and he still has his moment but he no longer tries to smother me he is acting like a normal child for the most part even though he does forget a simple talk now does wonders for him once again thanks

Nicole - posted on 07/21/2010

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I normally do not post much on these posts but after reading this I had to comment. I am amazed that you stated you do not want to spank your child and introduce him to more violence, yet you are letting him watch a show on television that is solely based on violence, bad language and negative behavior. In this situation I hate to point fingers but this one is your mistake as a parent. I am not trying to be rude but I really want to get the point across. You as a parent are the responsible one that should be monitoring what your children watch. There are thousands or cartoons and shows that are age appropriate for him and Family Guy is certainly not one of them. Now you are going to have to try to teach him that this show he loves is fake and not appropriate to treat people that way. Good luck

Charlotte - posted on 07/17/2010

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My nephew started acting like that and it turned out older kids at his preschool would say the nasty things to him and then he would repeat them back and use them on my sister. It broke her heart but they stayed consistent with time-outs and discipline and moved him out of the negative preschool. He's improved immensly and they reinforce it by making a big deal anytime he does something kind or helpfull. Encourage the positive, and try to eliminate the negative (if he only gets attention when he's hurting you...he'll keep hurting you of course). Good luck, Its likely a phase but listen to your Mummy instinct and find a different doctor or professional (children's councilor) to help if your current MD is not taking you seriously.

Louise - posted on 07/15/2010

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I am so careful what my 20 month old watches on tv as a childs mind is like a sponge and they pick up on everthing. Please don't let such a delicate mind watch this drivell on telly. This can do no end of damage as you are now experiencing. Now you have this problem you are going to have to sit your 3 year old down and tell him that he has been watching a cartoon and the people are not real so they do not feel what mummy feels. It is not nice to hurt people and when you do people cry. This should be enough to make him think twice about doing this. Just gently remind him when he gets a bit carried away. Try and stick to under fives programmes and encourage him to participate in kind good things like: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on line where he can play games and learn mouse control and sing along. He can have a lot of fun and learn simple problem solving solutions. If his behaviour does not improve then he may need to see somebody to talk things through. I really hope you get on top of this one. Good luck.

Lori - posted on 07/12/2010

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He is plenty old enough for time outs. I use them with my 18 month old and it has curbed most of her bad behavior by simply threatening it.

Lisbeth - posted on 07/12/2010

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Yeah I really do think that is were then if I was you I would not allow my tree year old to watch an adult cartoon with violence and swearing. It is not very age appropriate. At three he should be watching things like Thomas the train or roary the race car.

Stephanie - posted on 07/11/2010

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maybe family guy is where he is kinda getting it from he loves that show maybe thats y

Sonia - posted on 07/10/2010

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gently talk to him, explaining that what he is doing is wrong... every now and then, a tiny spank is all they need to stop. try the noughty step, and soon he will stop.

Lisbeth - posted on 07/09/2010

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He must be getting it from some where he sounds sort of like the baby on family guy that tries to kill his mom. At this point I think maybe you should monitor who he is with and what he is watching b/c three year olds have to get this from somewhere. I would also look in to a therapist b/c this kind of behavior is really unacceptable at this age and he will eventually grow up and what are you going to do when he is 13 and strong.

Stephanie - posted on 07/08/2010

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yea he is three i do the 1-2-3 but he doesnt care i tried talking to him he laughs he tells me to die all the time and he tells me he is going to break my fingers i have tried every thing he doesnt do this to any one but me not even my youngest which is were i thought it would start i dont know why he is so mean and hatefull toward me i have tried talking to the doc but she told me he was just being a child i havent gone back since he has started the trying to smother me he is a sweet child except for he behavior toward me he even tries to feed and comfort my youngest and gets mad when i scold my youngest i know he has a good heart i just dont think i 3 year old is suppose to act like that

Diane - posted on 07/07/2010

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i would tell him not to do it and why he shoulden
t do it , and if he does it again i would dicipline him for sure...you dont have to spank him but deff figure some kind of diciplin out before he does that to another kid

Lacy - posted on 07/06/2010

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I would first ask how old your son is. If he is old enough to know that things can hurt and understand this, I would first talk to him about how "hurting mommy and other people is bad" If he is not old enough to understand I would treat it like something that can hurt him, Say No, pick him up and move him to something that he can do that is good for him ie a toy.

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