Help me break my daughter's hitting habit please..

Devin - posted on 10/27/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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MY little girl is 16 months will be 17 months on the 2nd. Anyway, She has started hitting and snatching toys, especially with this new little boy who moved in. He is only 14 months old and My daughter will him, take toys from him especially when they are hers. Its making crazy and makes me feel bad because I don't want everyone to look and talk about how my kid is mean. She has started hitting my husband as well. I am trying to correct the behavior by getting down on her level and telling her that it was Ugly of her to that and do not do it again, and of course as soon I am finished she walks right back over and hits the little boy wags his finger in his face almost like she scolding him.. I don't know where she has seen this but what can I do to stop this behavior. I am almost frustrated and fearful that if this behavior continues it will make my daughter "that kid" that mothers will not want their children around.

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Dawn - posted on 10/29/2010

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As far as the snatching of toys goes, you will have to deal with this for a long time to come....I have read that sharing can not be learned under the age of 3 and will have to be enforced even then!! The best ways to handle this are to put up her favorite toys when you have visitors, so she feels like she doesn't always have to give her stuff up and whenever possible offer two or more of the same item...if this isn't possible, then remove the toy if you can't distract her after a few attempts. In our storytime class, it doesn't matter that there are 10 of the same blocks, my son doesn't want the other kids to have ANY of them if he is playing with them!! If he refuses to listen to me after a few times, I pick him up and redirect him to a new area with new toys and kids. Relax this is completely normal and noone is looking at you like you are a bad mommy (unless they have no children themselves..but that is a different topic!!). As far as hitting goes, this is also perfectly normal, so you are not doing anything wrong. The best approach is to get to her level, hold her hands and be stern while explaining, in simple terms, that we don't hit people. You will find yourself repeating this over and over for a long time...don't worry they will eventually get it....they won't be hitting forever!! I have it hard because my husband likes to rough play with our son and lets our son smack him in the head!!! Yeah, its funny to hear my husband explain that is Ok to hit Daddy but not Mommy....oh, my!!! :) :) Keep up the good work and don't worry, you are not alone, EVERY Mommy goes through this (even if you don't witness it yourself!).

Michelle - posted on 10/28/2010

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Don't worry too much! Both of my sons did this around that age. I just continued to tell them not to do it. I would also hold my son's hand and look him right in the eyes and say "don't hit, it hurts mommy" and make a sad face. My son is 17 months and he just finally stopped after about 2 months of it. I don't know where either of them picked it up from, but both outgrew it fairly quickly. I think it's actually normal.

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Courtney - posted on 11/10/2010

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She will grow out of it. What I did with mine is put them in the play pen for "time out" for a minute, then show them "nice hands" It will take some time, but eventually she will learn not to hit her friends. The toy taking will probably be an issue for awhile, so you will have to keep working on that probably for the next several years, but rest assured you are not a "bad parent". It is a normal stage of development.

Kate - posted on 11/09/2010

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you're daughter is not abnormal. at that age, for a few months, the babies start to hit. it's for a number of reasons, but they mostly don't understand what they are doing. if they do, they are practicing what they see - if they see someone touching someone on the arm, sometimes the best they can do is whack em, they don't know. sometimes they do copy actual hitting, if they see other kids doing it or on tv. it's something they will grow out of if you do like you do, get on their level and calmly say 'no', and then i show my kids how to be gentle. i'll take my sons hand and say, 'gentle' and teach him how to have gentle hands.

Natasha - posted on 11/03/2010

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I think mostly all children go through this stage. Just try to be around people that are tolerant and understand that soon it will be their child doing exactly the same thing. You child is normal and beautiful dont worry. Keep correcting behaviour but dont be frustrated that she dosent seem to learn straight away, they learn when they are ready. My son went through this exact thing except he would scratch other children in the face and i felt awful about it too. Also this is a common way of communicating frustration pre-language, so hang in there and try not to feel to bad.

Erin - posted on 10/31/2010

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Just keep on telling her that it is wrong,,, she is trying to push your boundarys and if you are consistance and keep telling her off...she will learn not to... and if she has a step brother she is trying to get attention by her bad behaviour... And don't worry about what other people are thinking... because We all don't have good children all the time....

Jessie - posted on 10/31/2010

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My son is exactly the same, When he does these things i put him in his room and take his fav toy away, this works until the next day or so and its the same routine. i dont know if this will work for you and your daughter, but you can always try 3 warnings each ime they do something naughty down to their leel, like your doing, tell them it is not very nice to be doing this, after 3 warnings put her in her room and tell her the reason ehy she is in time out, and walk away. and until she stops crying and screaming go back tell her once again that it was bad but in a calm voice, and make her say sorry, this works wonders for my son!!!!!! i hope this will help for you

Holly - posted on 10/30/2010

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i have the same problem with my 2 year old boy but i have had a little break through with this whenever she does things to others ( make sure she cant get hurt) but try letting the other kid do what she done to her and tell her see that doesnt feel so good does it so you shouldnt do it to others

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