help! my 14 month old has the worst tantrums!

Alexis - posted on 12/22/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My son is 14 months old, and his tantrums make me want to pull my hair out! whenever he is told no, or doesnt get what he wants, he screams, crys, hits his head on things (wall, floor) pulls his hair, throws things, etc. how can we fix this?

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Dora - posted on 12/23/2010

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When he is doing something you don't want him to do or he is not supposed to do then redirect him to do something he is allowed to do. You won't be giving in you will just be teaching him in a way that he understands what he is allowed to do and what is not acceptable. When doing this also explain why what he was doing was not acceptable. Also start giving him choices between 2 things you want him to do or have. For example if he fighting you on what to wear or eat give him to choices that you approve of. This will give him that feeling of control and independence. These are the 2 things I recommend because they did wonders with my son who is now 2 1/2yrs old. Now I am able to take him to nice adult restaurants, movies, etc..........

Krista - posted on 12/24/2010

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Sometimes a good way to head off the meltdowns is to verbally acknowledge what he's feeling. Part of the reason they have tantrums is because they don't know how to express their emotions any other way. So when my 16-month old gets told "No", and starts to melt down, I'll say, "Sam is MAD! Sam is MAD, MAD, MAD! Sam wants to touch the stove, but Mommy says, "No! Danger!" Sam is so mad, he's going to stomp his feet!" And then I stomp my feet, and he's usually so interested in what I'm doing that he forgets that he's upset. Plus now, when he's having a meltdown, he'll still cry, but he's started to stomp his feet instead of flinging himself on the floor, so it's teaching him a better way to express his anger. It's basically a technique I learned from Happiest Toddler on the Block, and it really seems to work.

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LaCi - posted on 01/06/2011

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usually, if mine's throwing a tantrum I ignore him. He's 2.5 now. If he's throwing a mega tantrum, I pick him up, hug him and rock him, I usually only get hit with flailing arms for a few minutes before he calms down and snuggles.

Courtney - posted on 01/06/2011

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My son does the same thing he is older than your son is but when he was about 14 month he was doing it all the time he started to get marks on his head. Now he is almost 3 he only does it when he gets really really mad but it does scare me but the other ladies are right just ignore him it will pass.

Aicha - posted on 12/26/2010

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IGNORE it. my daughter does the same thing and I just IGNORE it. but my husband gets all upset which makes her throw the tantrums more

[deleted account]

just ignore it. Walk away.

My son was about the same age when the following happened. I had come home from work, and wanted to change out of my office clothes so I could, you know, roll around on the floor and play with him. I was holding him. I told him I was going to change, put him on the ground. He threw a BIG FIT, and in the process bonked his head on a bookshelf. I cuddled him up (it legitimally probably hurt) and gave him attention. As soon as his tears stopped and he was happy again, I put him back down to go change my clothes.
And hten he crawled over to the same bookshelf, and VERY CAREFULLY tapped his head against it. and then cried. and was watching me the entire time to see what I would do.

manipulative little squirt

That was the last time I picked him up if he hurt himself while throwing a tantrum.

Kimberly - posted on 12/23/2010

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My girls do the same thing--the hitting their heads on floor really scared us at first, too. This is just a typically stage in their development. They don't know how to express their feelings and this is all they (sorry, I have twins and am used to speaking in plurals)......he knows how to do. I have to just take a deep breath and IGNORE it. I know it sounds easier than it might be, but once he figures out that he's not gaining any attention from you, he should calm down. I don't kiss their heads when they've hit it against something during a tantrum, I just calmly say "If you hit your head on the (floor), it's going to hurt". They've been doing it for several months and still haven't completely learned. I do think a big key is for you to remain calm and speak to him in a calm manner and just tell him that when he calms down, he can have _______. Of course not what you told him no for in the first place, but some other toy he enjoys to distract him. Hope this helps!

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