Help !! My son and Boyfriend have a hostile relationship

Samantha - posted on 09/19/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )




My 3 year old son and my boyfriend dont always get on to well , but they use to be fantastic with each other and always had fun , but lately my son just screams at him and this makes my boyfriend shout at him , which then makes me argue with my boyfriend . We did have a bad patch in are relationship which i think my son has picked up on are behaviour and sees that this is how you behave when your angry . what can i do to make him see that were all okay now and that he should get on with him ? I have asked him does he not like him and does he want him to go and he gets upset saying no no i dont want danny to go . Please help its putting a lot of strain on my relationship and obviously my sons needs come first but he says he loves him and he does play with him its only when he is getting told wht to do he kicks off.


Alisha - posted on 09/23/2010




i guess hes picked up on your guys' behavior with each other so i guess a change in how you guys act with each other when angry might be a good idea and see why he gets angry at danny then see what changes can be made he is three he could be throwing his version of a TT when being told what to do. pull him aside and tell him yelling at Danny when he doesn't want to do something is inexpiable. hope this helps.


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User - posted on 09/29/2010




I wish I could give you some advice. I have a 12 year old son and I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years. We have 2 kids together. My son and my bf's relationship has always been very rocky. There were w few times when I have given up and started making plans to leave my bf. Luckily my son has a great dad and he gets along with my bf so we always work as a team. There is no magic wand for this. These relationships are just going to be a lot of hard work you have to decide if they are worth it, and decide early enough so that there is minimal damage to everyone involved.

Dawn - posted on 09/23/2010




First I think 3 is too young to get your son involved with a decision such as breaking up with your boyfriend...that is probrably putting stress on him. Second, you need to assess if your boyfriend is acting inappropriately in those situations with your son. If he is, talk to him (not in the presence of your son) and explain that he is the grownup, yes you love him, but your son comes first. End the relationship if he does not respond right!!! This could also be a is your sons relationship with his father?? Cpuld this be a factor??

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