HELP!! My son refuses at all costs!

Lori - posted on 02/04/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son refuses to do do things such as sing and dance in is 4yr old kindergarden class. They say it is ok for this year but next year in Kindergarden they will not accept that. From the first day that we saw him start new things like walk or talk, he would do them for us but refuse to do it in front of anyone else. They say they have tried everythinging. I have tried everything. Please help!!

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Lori - posted on 02/08/2010

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Im sorry that if what i said was a little confusing i should have been more clear. They are not making him preform in front on stage just doing kid songs in circle time. But he refuses to clap his hands or sing with everyone else. They ask him to gallop to make sure he can and skip, jump in place and so on. We knw he can do all these things at home but even sometimes when we see him doing things like that he will stop just because someone saw him. Sorry for the confusion

Rebecca - posted on 02/07/2010

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I agree that it is rediculous for the school to say he has to perform at any age. It's not like he's in a public speaking class or anything!

I agree that if you want to deminish this behavior, though,that you should baby-step it. Definitely review the routines or songs with him at home. Maybe make a production of it, giving him a play microphone and setting up a "stage" for him. Then, when he's comfortable, add a couple more people--like grandparents, or close friends-- that he's really comfortable with. Maybe the large amounts of praise he gets will help coax him out of being shy about it.

If nothing else, it may be worth looking into a different school or setting up a meeting with the teachers or principal to review the standards they are actually teaching. Is your child actually being taught and graded on public performance? Most likely not. If that's the case, they can't force the issue. And trying to will just stress out your child and yourself! And that's the last thing anyone needs!

Maggie - posted on 02/04/2010

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he's just a shy child. I can't believe they'd MAKE a child sing and dance ...how do you even do that?
Try having smaller playgroups of one or two other kids so he can get used to being around other kids. Maybe if he has a few close friends he'll be more willing to let loose in a group. Encourage him to do things by doing them yourself. Make sure he knows the songs and/or dances well before he has to do them in front of an audience. Sometimes it's hard to do things in front of a lot of people. I personally got a F on every oral report ever in school because I refused to do it. It was worth the F to me because I hated being in front of people.

Marcy - posted on 02/04/2010

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Sounds like he is just shy...which honestly I think is endearing. I also find it a little disturbing that a school would put that kind of rpessure on a child of that age. My gut check would tell me that if he wasn't comfortable singing and dancing in front of others why force it right? My kiddo is 3 1/2 and is Mr. Talkative in front of us but at school it takes him a long time to warm up. Just let him be and if next year he still doesn't want to sing and dance well, you may have to find another place for him. A lot can happen in a year.

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