Hi, I'm trying to teach my 10 month old baby girl word no and have no sucsess at all, she is very stubborn and still will try to do stuff she should not. I repeat it several times, sho her no-no, but she keeps going.... Any ideas, tecniqs how to teach a word No correctly, THANK you!

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Deb - posted on 11/04/2008

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I have a 3 and 1 year old and have been there. Keep in mind that babies at 10 months aren't knowingly disobeying you--they're just learning and looking to you to teach them. At the annoyance of all of us moms it sometimes takes us saying "no" or "stop" or "danger" 500 times before they realize that they are not supposed to touch the fireplace/dog water/garbage can, etc.. Be sure to use descriptive words, rather than "no" all of the time and be consistent (hot, danger, stop are all good ones). Also, don't go into a paragraph long explanation about why something is dangerous--keep explanations clear and concise, so they can start to process these short amounts of information.

Babies are too young to be punished at this age. The key is to remember they are not being bad, just exploring their world with you as their tour (and safety) guide! Tell her "Stop! Hot!" when she goes near your oven, then pick her up and move her to another part of the room and give her a toy! My son won't leave our dog water alone, so I'm afraid the baby gate goes up when we're in the kitchen and the dog has to get her drinks during his naps or when we're out of that part of the house. The "distract and redirect" technique is very key at this young age!!

Good luck!!!

Genevieve - posted on 10/29/2008

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It is never to young to start teaching "no." I commend you for doing it. Some don't start until the child is much older and then they have a real problem. Your child won't always respond the way you want, but I bet she does know what it means. I say no then remove Charlie from the situation and try to give him a replacement toy. There are a couple of things going on here. First, they have a need to explore which is a good thing. Second, they don't understand what they can have and what they can't. They don't have a concept of danger or fragile. Lastly, she is testing you. You said no yesterday (or five seconds ago) will you say no again? You know those parents that tell their 6 year old to get their pjs on 17 times, but never really expect them to do it until mom or dad gets really upset and walks them in the bedroom. The parents are frustarted and they don't know why their child won't listen to them. It is because they have trained, yes TRAINED, their child that they don't have to listen to them the first 17 times. It is hard. EXTREMELY hard to be consistent. But the younger you pick these battles the easier it will be down the road. It is easy to control a 10 month old than an out of control teenager. I know it seems so long down the road, but the patterns you establish now are the ones you'll live by. Mistakes are so hard to break later.

Krystal - posted on 11/04/2008

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Do not just say no to her.....show her and tell her what you want her to stop doing. Example: No (remover her hand)please don't touch the remote. Try not to use no so much use dont touch, or stop going up the stairs, ect. Good luck!

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[deleted account]

Something else that I learned recently: the word "discipline" comes from a word that means "to teach." When you look at it from a teaching perspective rather than a punishing perspective it changes everything. Good luck!

Julia - posted on 11/04/2008

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Thank you so much everybody! I will just keep doing what I do - say no firmly, remove from the situetion, distract... Really like idea to use a word stop and safe no for the most important times. Thank allot!

Danielle - posted on 11/04/2008

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well iv always stamped my foot or pointed a finger mine is quite stubborn but will laugh at first until i start raising my voice louder and louder until he finally gets the idea then hell have a little solk and find something else to vdo

hope it helps.....

[deleted account]

I agree that the value of teaching "no" is invaluable ... and consistency is key. But I try to reserve "no" for situations where she is either putting herself in danger or may hurt other people. I fear that overusing the word will numb her to it when I really need her to listen to it.

For the smaller stuff, I found it much more effective to just divert her attention to something else ("Let's stay away from the lamp and play with the bear instead"). At that age it is easy to distract them, and a lot less stressful. Focus on the positive.

Lee Ann - posted on 10/30/2008

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Genevieve and Jennifer are right on the money. I have two older kids (13 & 11) and it took patience and consistency but it has totally paid off, now as a teenager and a pre-teen they listen the first time. Our youngest is 11 months and is just learning no and stop, perseverance is the key. I just keep at it and it will sink in eventually, the time spent now pays off so much down the road besides they are so much fun to be around now.

Tammy - posted on 10/30/2008

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Research has recently shown that toddlers do not have the same understanding of the word "no" as adults do. So rather than tell her no and what she can not do...try telling her what she can do. For example, if you do not want her touching something...move her to an area where she can touch. It's worked for my son wonderfully and it creates a much more positive atmosphere.

[deleted account]

Boy, Genevieve and Jennifer said it right on! Say no, remove and distract, and be consistent! I'm on my 5th babygirl, the oldest being 15 and even with my ADD child, it works! As they got older, no was followed by "hot" or "hurt the baby" so they understand those words are connected with "no" and then when you say "That's HOT", the child connects "hot" with "no" and they don't touch it. But BE CONSISTENT...even when it's not convenient at the time! We have always had good luck with this method and hope that you do too!

Emily - posted on 10/29/2008

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I have a 13 almost 14 month old and we are still trying to get her to understand NO. She just gets into to the things that she is not supposed to and repeats the word NO, I have found that asking her not to get into the dog food..etc, works better than just saying NO. Good Luck, and lots of patients

Jennifer - posted on 10/29/2008

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I agree with Genevieve. Even though at 10 months, they dont truly understand NO, they learn that Mommy and Daddy use a different tone and that no or stop is something that I am doing that doesn't make mommy and daddy smile.



And consistency OMG, the 17 times is so annoying. I have two nephews, 5 and 3. When they are at home, they have to be threatening with a wooden spoon to do anything they are asked. At my house, the most I ask is twice, then time out. I rarely have ever had to do any different because I stay consistent with them and they learned early on what they can and cannot do at my house.



Just be patient and go outside to scream if you have to, but keep it up. They will get it!

Weslie - posted on 10/27/2008

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Number one, she is only 10 months old, it is going to take time for her to relate no to doing something she shouldn't ... just be consistant, that's the way its gonna be for a long while!

Debbie - posted on 10/27/2008

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my son is nearly one and he didnt learn no till he was 11mnths keep tryin i no its annoyin but be patient

[deleted account]

when you tell her no, move her away from whatever it is she is not supposed to be doing, EVERYTIME and give her something else to play with

Melissa - posted on 10/27/2008

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CONSISTENCY! Thats the key. Just like all "super fun" parts of parenting sometimes you have to be the bad guy. Be firm and consistent. If she turns one and you are still struggling, try time outs or the naughty spot. After a few times she will catch on. GOOD LUCK!

Brittney - posted on 10/27/2008

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I agree with Tiffany. I have a 2 1/2 year old. I taught her the word no, and that is all she says now. She loved the word NO. It drove me crazy. She would yell at me and say NO mommy. Then also give me attitude. Now with my 15 month old. I say Stop, and just say things other then No, and just remove him from where he is getting in trouble. Eventually he will learn if you stick with it.

Melissa - posted on 10/25/2008

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mabey trying to expain to her that it makes you sad and it hurts your feelings when she does stuff that makes you mad or the good ol time out when you say no and she does it any way she is one so make her sit for 1 min when she does not losten then when she is done from her time out that works for me good luck!!!

Leslie - posted on 10/25/2008

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When my son tries to play with something that he can't, I shake my head "no" and say "not for Sam". It seems to work better than when I just say no, and as he gets older, I'll add in why it's not for Sam, such as because it's hot or can hurt you, etc... Good luck!

Amanda - posted on 10/25/2008

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10 months is pretty young for her to understand "no" completely. You will just need to keep up with it. My son is almost 15 months and still doesn't listen to "no". Just make sure you are consistant.

Rebecca - posted on 10/23/2008

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With my son (who is also really stubborn) I just stuck to it. I would say no in a firm voice and shake my head, then I would remove him from whatever he was doing and give him a toy or some kind of distraction.

Tiffany - posted on 10/23/2008

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try saying stop and hold your hand up doing the stop action, you will regret it if you teach no,

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