Hi, my daughter is 2yrs old and I just moved her from my bed to her own toddler bed. She doesn't seem to mind her own bed, but in order for her to fall asleep I have to stand next to her for anywhere between 5 min and 45 min. Her bed is in my room and if I leave the room she cries at the door, any advice?

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Niki-Dee - posted on 01/26/2009

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HI, my son is 2 years old. He's never slept with me besides when he was first born because I didn't want to have to break that habit, but he is in a toddler bed now and he likes the same thing he wants me to stay in his room with him until he falls asleep and I used to do it when he was a little younger, but now I just stay in there for maybe 5-10 mins and rub his back and head and try to soothe him for a couple mins maybe read him a book. I also let him bring 3 or 4 toys in his bed with him that he can sleep with or play with until he falls asleep. She will get used to you leaving if you stay in for a few mins and then leave because 45 mins is really too long. I saw that you said she follows you out of the room. You just have to strictly enforce her in staying in the bed. My son did that a couple times when he first got into a toddler bed, but you just have to firmly let her know,, it's bedtime you are not allowed to get out of your bed if you need something I will get it for you. and let her keep a few toys with her. I think locking the door is way too extreme, little kids get scared you can't do that. My son slept with his light on for probably 8 months also and I allowed that as long as he was in his bed.

Melanie - posted on 01/25/2009

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yeah it could be hard if she keeps getting up, but I agree fully with the last comment (super nanny technique)



I saw on a differnt 'Super Nanny' program once that in order to get the child to understand the rules the parent was told to hold the door shut if they were opening it, but to let go of the handle once the child let go at their side (most doors you will be able to feel the difference)... the key point of the excercise was inforcing the rule that they stayed in their room, but then letting go so that they also know they can get out of their room too...



I would say try the above technique for a good week, it will be worth it... before trying holding the door shut. I imagine the door really only works with older children who will be able to recognise the difference in being shut in temporarily and not shut out forever as a younger child may feel.



sorry, if that doesn't help at all, just trying to give you options.

Stephannie - posted on 01/25/2009

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no don't lock the door



the technique i use if Sophia is to come out of her room is Super Nannys one where the 1st time she leaves her room you gently say to her, '' DARLING, IT'S BED TIME NOW'' then take her back to bed tuck her in and leave, the second time she leaves her room say the same but in a stern voice dont shout but just sternly TELL her it is bed time... any more times she comes out DO NOT SPEAK AT ALL, just taker her back to bed, tuck her in, leave the room-with no verbal contact no kisses n cuddles it is so hard and sooo tedious BUT as long as u r cosistant it works she WILL get bored it might mean it takes u 45 mins of doing this and u think oh its easier just to sit with her for that 45,,, BUT in the long run she will get the idea that she wont get the attention she wants ya know?

Rebecca - posted on 01/25/2009

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First of all put her in her own room, second get a baby gate put in front of her door and Third, let her crying. She never going to learn, with you watch her fall alseep. I know this might sound mean, but thats want my husband and i had to do with our son.

Jessica - posted on 01/25/2009

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Thanks for the advice, the problem is she follows me out of the room and soon as I turn around, the only way to keep her in bed is to stand there.  Should I lock the door?  I heard that was not a good thing to do.  I read to her for 20-30min, sing cuddle, but sometimes I think that makes it harder for her to say goodnight.

Stephannie - posted on 01/25/2009

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Hi,



My daughter is also 2 but has been in her own room since she was gettin a bit too big for a moses basket so she is used to it but when I did put her in her own room, I just said goonight to her and made bedtime a special occation for loadsa cuddles a song, a book and she always been good as gold! ... you have to be tough to be kind sometimes and just let her cry herself to sleep if she wont settle for up to 45 mins without you there I know its hard but they say it takes a child up to 2 weeks to get used 2 a new routine! i hope this helped! good luck x

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