hi there,I have a big problem with controling my doughter in public places,she makes me shy everywhere that is really nerve racking can any one help me please???????

Ailin - posted on 02/26/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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hi dear moms,I have a big problem with my only child who is 22 months , although she is a girl but that is really hard to control her in public places ,I get shy everywhere & that is really nerve racking ,is there any one who can help me.please??????????

4 Comments

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Julie - posted on 02/26/2009

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I agree with the the other moms, don't be embarrassed any one who has raised a child KNOWS that it will happen occasionally! Standing your ground though each and every time is key. Two year olds will push and push so you just have to never give in. They will get the picture! My kids get one warning, then if they are walking they go directly into the cart or stroller even if I have to pack the youngest and if it continues I will not hesitate to drop everything go pack them up in the van and give them a stern talking to. If they cannot have good manners then they can't go with me. My favorite line is that "It is NOT my job to chase you around the store or repeat my self five times, it is YOUR job to listen to me! I am the MOM!" It might sound kinda harsh but it works, they figure out in short order that sometimes you will let them get away with more in public.

Suzannah - posted on 02/26/2009

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Try not to be too embarrassed - any moms out there know that it's just a two-year old doing what they do! Some ideas I find helpful with my toddler: bring activities so they're not bored (a new book, small toy, or magna-doodle they only get to use when you are out); bring snacks; give lots of positive attention for all the good things they do (everything you can think of, like walking on their own feet, sitting so grown up in their seat, helping mommy keep her place in line); give lots of transition warnings about what you are going to be doing (for example, in two minutes we're going to put on our coats and go to the car... now it's time to put on our coats and go to the car so we can go to the grocery... now we're going to the grocery... in a minute we'll be at the grocery and you can help me find lots of yummy food... ). If you have to do something lengthy, like talk to a doctor, with your child sitting there quietly, bring a portable dvd player for them to watch. Two-year-olds don't know how to manage their emotions yet. If they throw a tantrum, taking them to a quiet spot for a few minutes can sometimes help. Remaining in control of your own emotions, not becoming angry or mean toward the child, will help prevent the tantrum from escalating. If prevention fails and you can't help them calm down, avoid offering things to cheer them up or bribe, like candy or toys at the store, as these will only encourage future tantrums. But sometimes the little guys are just too tired, hungry, or frustrated and you may have to give up on the outing and head home. However, I wouldn't punish a toddler who is simply out of control. You are the grown up, and if you continue to behave as an emotionally stable adult they will eventually do the same (eventually... after lots and lots of parenting and patience).

Wendy - posted on 02/26/2009

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just know you are not alone haha.... i don't have much advice though... my son is going through the same phase..

Jeannine - posted on 02/26/2009

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Ahhh....the terrible two's!  And you probably thought it was just an exaggeration right?  You are not alone!   She's trying to test you to see what she can get away with--just remember that it's always a test at this age.  My son occasionally likes to have meltdowns in public too...it is very embarrassing when he's throwing  a fit in the middle of a department store.  It's just a phase but you have to show that you are the boss--it takes some work and a lot of patience.  Whenever she's acting out, immediately  and deliberately take her out to the car or a quiet place -- somewhere where you can get her attention, Be confident and tell her you will not tolerate that behavior.  With my boys I've found that two things work really good too...I either make them say "okay mommy" when I tell them to do something (Like STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!) and if they don't say "okay" then they know it's a time out.  Or after they've misbehaved I make them apologize to me.  It seems to calm them down and show them that I'm the boss and they have to agree with me.  I also change my tone of voice and use a very low tone and they know I mean business.  They also know that if they test me, I will follow through with punishment.  Whether it's not getting something they want or a time out...just make sure you always follow through. 



I've struggled with both of my boys and I have a 7 month old daughter that I'm sure will give me the same pains.  But...it is just a phase and it will pass as long as you make sure you stand your ground. 

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