How can i raise my child not to be spoilt?

Samantha - posted on 04/17/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have a 17 month yr old boy who is an only child, lately hes started chucking tantrums when he doesnt get his own way. How can i parent him in a way that doesnt encourage this behaviour??

4 Comments

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Allison - posted on 04/18/2010

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Be consistent. Like Jessica said, No ALWAYS means no - follow through, and never let him get away with bad behavior, even for a few seconds. They learn through repetition, and it's harder to break a bad behavior once it's a habit.



We do NOT spank or swat, but started doing time-out at about 18 months, which works great for our guy - he's 3 now and really well-behaved - not just according to me :) Also, after/during stopping the behavior, explain things in a short, clear way, at EYE level with them. Keep calm (hard sometimes, I know!) because excited voice or yelling will either make them tune you out OR try to get more reaction from you. Try to explain what you're doing before you grab something away from him or move him - just like you would want him to treat you :)



I know a lot of people ignore tantrums, which probably works for some kids - but we usually just don't tolerate them - we just get down on our son's level and insist he listens. Sometimes they do need to get out their emotions, so if that seems to be the case, we tell him he can be in his own room if he wants to keep shouting and crying, because it hurts our ears. Or if no one else is around, we will just say WE are leaving the room, and he can only come to us once he calms down a little (this won't work if he doesn't know how to calm down himself...he might just chase you.)



But by telling him (1) we DO understand that he's mad and why he's mad (wants that toy, etc) then (2) saying why he CANNOT have/do it and (3) explaining what he CAN do or have INSTEAD, he usually calms down within 30 seconds or so. And if they aren't looking at your face, they probably aren't listening, so you really have to insist on that, as well, I think.



Hope that's helpful!

Jen - posted on 04/18/2010

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its just a stage my 16 month old is the same he will cry n scream kick headbutt if he cant understand why he cant get his on way like yesterday he wanted the dogs ball but wouldnt throw it n we told him to throw but wouldnt so we threw it n had a fit all i did was put the toy he was playing with aka the bike away n sit him on my lap n explain to him why we did wht we did n he needs to calm down n it does work.

Jessica - posted on 04/17/2010

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sometimes you just have to let them throw a fit! just make sure that your "no" ALWAYS means no.

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