how can I teach my daughter to share??

Cristal - posted on 12/13/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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We were spending time with the family and my daughter was crying for every to that they were playing with. She wanted all the toys. I dont know what to do.

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Louise - posted on 12/13/2010

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You have to teach a child to share by demonstrating with either other children or amongst adults. I do not know how old your daughter is but sharing can start at an early age. I have a tea set for my 2 year old that has a cake that can be cut into 4. I sit and play with her and she shares out the cake. Always praise positive behaviour with " Good sharing" and lots of smiles. She will soon learn that to share is a good thing and gets her good praise.

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Claudette - posted on 01/07/2011

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Most children don't understand what it means to share. They want what they want. My oldest was this way. The easiest way to teach her would be by practicing. I did the timer thing. When it went off, it was time to share...even if it was with me.

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Sharing is VERY hard thing for children to understand, it is quite an abstract thought that they can't grasp. BUT - Turn taking - now that one they can grasp! Get a timer. Tommy can play with the toy for three minutes. Ding! Now it is Lucy's turn! for Three Minutes! Ding! now it is Tommy's turn again!
Children do well with this because they know the toy is coming back to them. Also by using the timer there is a visual and audial trigger as to when their turn starts/is over.
When it isn't their turn they can try playing with something else. Sometimes I just cuddle my son who still wants to play with the toy - gently talking with him about how nice he is doing at "turn taking" and how I know it is tough when you want to play with something and someone else has it, etc.

When they are a bit older - around the age of 3 - and they know full well what turn taking/sharing is, if they start arguing over a toy, it goes away. No one can play with the toy because I don't want to hear the arguing. Guess what - there is VERY little arguing in my house and a LOT of turn taking.

Amanda - posted on 12/13/2010

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My son has a little playmate that comes over to play at least once a week and they taught themselves how to share. When one wants something the other has they "trade" with them. Even if they have nothing in their hands to begin with they will go find something and hand it to the other. Most of the time the item they wanted is given to them! It is really cute because they are only 22 and 23 months old and have been "sharing" this way since they were about 13 and 14 months old. I think having a friend over helps with sharing their "own" toys too. When they have no one they HAVE to share with at home it makes it hard for them to share other places. When they have a time of not sharing we usually let them fight it out on their own.....at least that is our strategy right now. We will see how well that works after a few weeks of it. So far it is working good.

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