How do i discipline a child that will not listen????

Mindy - posted on 11/24/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Too ornery! He can be out of control throwing and screaming and pushing down his sister. Time outs, corner, spanking, nothing works!! HELP!! I have tried everything!

8 Comments

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Valerie - posted on 11/29/2009

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if you remember that when a child acts they are either calling for love of giving love...reach out and hold the child and speak gently...ask what will help you to be gentle, kind, etc.? aknowledge their anger...ooo you are very mad...when you calm down i can let you down...what would help you to calm down? stay calm and soothing...be firm if flailing child yet still warm and loving...see that child when he is doing the right thing and acknowledge kindness, gentleness, etc and tell him how you see it to help it grow...i am a parenting coach...the power of your words is important...virtues words (love, kind, gentle....) are important to say and specifically tell them how you see them and want them to be practiced...

Tonya - posted on 11/28/2009

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Presistance is the key. Dont yell or let your child see you get upset. When you talk to him about his behavior wait untill he is settled down. When he first does the bad behavior tell him what he done and he must go to timeout. No matter what have him stay in timeout. If he gets out tell him he must stay in time out and you will come talk to him when is done crying and when I decide it is time to get out. Only do this 2 times after that if he gets out get him and take him right back to where you put him and dont say anything to him. Stay presistant and in time he will stay It may take a couple different instances but in time he will see that he will not be able to get out. Once he has been good (one minute per year of age) go to him and tell him what he did then have him tell you what he did. Tell him that is a no no and to say im sorry. This really helped me with me and my son and within a month his behavior changed for the better. Oh yea when you talk to him about what he did keep in to just a few sentences that will help him process it better

Mo - posted on 11/28/2009

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My son's room is too fun so he has a time out chair. he has to sit all alone in the dining room in a chair pulled away fromt he table. I set the timer for as many minutes as his age and then he has to tell me why he was in time out and what he will do differently.

Alicia - posted on 11/26/2009

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I'd keep with the time outs.. we do time outs in my sons room, with no toys or anything in there, hes put in there for the amount of years he is, which is three, so three minutes.. and than we tell him to come out and talk to us, and we ask him why he was put in there, he tells us.. if he doesnt tell us, we explain to him, make sure you're at eye level.... he may run out of his room, or throw a fit, (you could use the corner too) but be persistant!! you may have to put him in there what feels like a hundred times before it works... it will be tiring, but it pays off.... once he sees the consistancy he will stop pushing boundaries.....

also, if hes throwing things and screaming or pushing down his sister he may just be looking for attention.. try talking to him and seeing why he does those behaviors, and explain to him the behavior isnt acceptable and that mommy is there to listen if he needs you... or if hes misbehaving redirect him to something that he can do thats constructive and not destructive.... and try to focus on his good behavior, compliment that.. show him that he get attention when hes GOOD. If you dont pay attention to the negative stuff, he'll realize it doesnt work to get your attention and being good gets it. (obviously within reason so hes not hurting himself or others)....

hope this all makes sense lol, sometimes I tend to ramble when I type... good luck! hopefully some of the ideas on here will work for you!! parenting is so tough sometimes! especially boys! i know, i have three! lol

Morgan - posted on 11/26/2009

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Sounds like what you are doing is right it may not be working right away but it will. It takes little ones longer to understand what is and isn't acceptable. If it is a temper tantrum ignore it all they want is a reaction from you. You just have to be persistent with your discipline and it is like said before by Jenna a good idea to get down to their level to talk to them. Also if you are calm about it they will be calm about it generally they learn by example so if you yell they will yell.

Jenna - posted on 11/25/2009

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I am having the same problem with my almost 3 year old. It is hard but you need to get down to his level, hold him so he can't run off and try to make eye contact with him and explain what you want him to do. good luck

Christina - posted on 11/24/2009

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for me i do the time outs, i just put him in his room and shut the door (we also have no toys in his room) then when he calms down i will go to him and kinda explain what he did that was naughty. he might be 2 but mine seems to understand, he does whatever he got into trouble for a few more times, but after a while he gets tired of missing out of all the fun.

thats just a possibility

Christina - posted on 11/24/2009

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for me i do the time outs, i just put him in his room and shut the door (we also have no toys in his room) then when he calms down i will go to him and kinda explain what he did that was naughty. he might be 2 but mine seems to understand, he does whatever he got into trouble for a few more times, but after a while he gets tired of missing out of all the fun.

thats just a possibility

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