how do i get my toddler to sleep without her crying for hours

Mandy - posted on 04/02/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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i feel ive tried so many ways and she wont go to sleep without me in bed with her or vise versa i dont know what to do anymore

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Janelle - posted on 04/04/2009

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I watched the TV show "The Nanny" the lady would come in and help with Children misbehavior etc... one lady had the same trouble thought i would share it with you it's a gradual thing it does work i did it with my two year old who went through the exact same thing.

Put her to bed as you would normally do have everything normal but instead of lying down next to her just sit beside her bed give her your hand and lay your head if you want so she can see you resting but don't give eye contact very thing to remember eye contact is a no no. It was very hard for me too not to do it but i did with my teeth clenched! after a few days when she gets used to having you hand change the routine do everything normally as you would put her to bed etc move away from her bed she can still see your there just sit with your head down no eye contact if she gets up put her back don't talk no eye contact there will be tears etc to try and get your attention keep doing this til your out the door and it's done it took me a good 4-6 weeks but it worked it was hard with the support of your partner to give you reassuring hugs afterwards you'll be right

Let me know how you go

Lacey - posted on 04/02/2009

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My advice is to establish a good bedtime routine.  Maybe a bath w/ the bedtime bath stuff that helps calm or soothe, or reading a book.  Just whatever works for you guys.  But make it a routine so she knows that it means it's bedtime.  I know it's hard listening to her cry and you're exhausted and seems easier to just let her come to bed w/ you, but if you stick it out you'll be so proud of yourself and your daughter.  it might take like a week of getting a little less sleep, that's what it was for us.  once we decided we wouldn't go in and get him no matter what, he got used to it and now sleeps wonderfully on his own and we get the sleep we need.  good luck and keep w/ it.   

Ann - posted on 04/02/2009

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We had the same problem with my son. He would always fall asleep on the couch next to us and then we would have to move him. Then we decided it was time to go to sleep in his bed (which is in our room). We still have his bed in our room because he used to sleep with us and this is how we got him out of our bed. I just haven't made the decision to move his bed into his room yet. I guess it is somewhat of a crutch for me, because I imagine it will be a difficult transition for him (and me). We told him that he could have 1 thing of mommy's to sleep with and 1 thing of daddy's to sleep with. He chose daddy's B (blanket) and my pillow. I needed a new pillow anyways so I was fine with it. We let him watch a 30 minute DVD of his choice, but he knows that if he gets out of bed he has to go to sleep without his show. He usually doesn't get up unless he has to go potty or something, but that is rare. Good luck. It will all happen with time.

Mandy - posted on 04/02/2009

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she is almost 2 and i have a cd player playing soft night time music and she does have a night light and i let her sleep with her blanket a book a sippie cup of water and a baby doll. i also tried laying in bed with her but when i get up the bed moans and wakes her up so thats out lol now im trying to set a wake time and nap time and lunch time and bath time ect... will that help

Ann Marie - posted on 04/02/2009

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Ugh, that sounds awful.  I can't sleep with DD in the bed, or even in the room (we're both light sleepers).  I had to get her used to sleeping in her crib in her own room for my own sanity.



I thought "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West had some good information about sleep, but it's pretty hard to follow her plan; it involves lots of lost sleep for a week or so.  But in your case it might be necessary.



Have you tried putting a sleeping bag or mattress down on the floor next to her crib and lying there until she falls asleep?  I had to do that for a few days after we moved to a new house.  DD would get mad that I wasn't holding her, and it took her something like 45 minutes of crying to fall asleep the first few nights, plus sometimes there would be a "round 2" in the middle of the night.  However, she would cry while lying down, so I know she got the message that she was supposed to go to sleep, but she was just mad that I wasn't holding her.  I stopped lying there with her once she decided not to fight sleep for so long.



Anyway, I thought it was a decent compromise - I was teaching her that she had to fall asleep in her crib without me, but she knew I wasn't abandoning her or anything.  And it wasn't relaxing, but at least I was getting some rest lying down.



Good luck.  I'm sure you'll find something that works for you.

Cathy - posted on 04/02/2009

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It is very frustrating I know! But you have to try to stick with it long enough to get her to understand that she has to sleep in her bed. How old is she? I have a gate up on my little girls room just to try to keep her from coming out of her room at night. I also decided to put a small tv in there with her. Our nighttime routine is to read a book and then she gets to watch a movie for 30 minutes. That has helped a lot! There are some nights though where she doesn't want to go to sleep and it is so hard but you have to let them cry. Does she have a night light?

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