How do I prepare my 3.5 yr old for his step sister coming to visit so hes not jealous?

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

We're supposed to be getting custody of my hubby's daughter. But before that, we're trying to prepare him by having her to visit. How do I prepare him for the baby?

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Saskia - posted on 09/30/2009

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I agree with Brandi! treat it as a new baby coming along! explain everything he'll understand hell of a lot more than you think. And about the jealousy (which will come) I wouldn't worry to much once the other one is there give him plenty of mummy time show him he hasn't lost you to the other child. I just had my second baby and my son was 16 months he was jealous for about 2 weeks but I just involved him into everything and explained as much as possible. Now he loves her loads, constantly kissing and cuddling her.

Good luck and I'm sure it will be fine!

Emily - posted on 09/27/2009

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The fact of the matter is that he is probably going to get jealous no matter what you do. Who is this new baby coming into my home that my parents are giving MY attention to? Playing with MY toys? Kids don't understand adult concepts. Try to get them to play together and make sure he is involved in what is going on. "this is how we change the baby's diaper...would you like to help?" Have him give her kisses and hugs, etc. Give him a stuffed animal that he can take care of "like a baby"....Also, set aside days where it's all about him. A day a week where Mommy and him go to Mcdonalds together, etc. But just be prepared that he is probably going to be jealous either way, and it is something that he just has to adjust to over time. :)

[deleted account]

Thank you so much for the advise. This is an awkward situation. At least with a little help for our son, it may be easier for us. lol. Thanks again.

Brandi - posted on 09/24/2009

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treat this as if a 'new baby' is coming. talk about it as much as he'll listen. and when she gets there really involve your son with as much as you can involve him with. Dub him mommy's little helper. If the baby is still in diapers give your son jobs like bringing diapers getting blankets, throwing diapers in the trash. getting the bottle off the table or out of the frige whatever he is capable of. Not only will it be a huge help to you he will feel really involved and probably not as jealous. Also treat the homecoming as a really special happy fun event he'll pick up on any stresses you have about it. If it is really positive he'll join right in. Good luck and Congrats on your new addition. It really will be fine. My daughter adjusted beautifully to the new baby when we had her brother. She was my little helper. and we really encouraged hugging and kissing between the two kids to encourage a bond with them. Today my son is almost 2 and my daugter almost 4 and they are INSEPARABLE.

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