How do I prepare my toddler for a new baby

Lisa - posted on 03/25/2010 ( 24 moms have responded )

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I'm expecting a baby boy in Aug. and I dont know how to perpare my 17 months old daughter. She is used to being the "princess" and her daddy spoils her. I'm worried she wont take to her new brother. What can I do to help her perpare for our new baby?

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Jade - posted on 03/31/2010

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i agree with jennifer here....i think that if u involve your daughter in things to do with your son she wont feel so left out... when i was having my son my daughter was hitting 2 and i use to tell her that her baby brother was in my tummy and she would lie in bed or on the couch and talk to him...if u get them involved with things before he is here like letting her choose a special teddy or blanket for when he is born and let her give it to him so she feel like she is apart of the situation..ive also been told that if u give ur child a present from the baby xhe will likley bond with the baby quicker also..
i hope i have helped with something this is just what i did with my two and only being 23yo i thought it was going to be hard but it was such a blessing

Dulce - posted on 03/31/2010

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Well, I'm not in the same boat but I've been reading the book "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers" and in ch. 9 talks about growing your family and she does not recommend the "doll" trick (no offense for the ones used it & work, I'm just referencing the book). Highly recommend it and again I'm just a mom of 1 (for now). Enjoy your pregnancy and toddler, congratulation on your new addition to your family :)

Karen - posted on 03/30/2010

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My girlfriend was having a baby and she already had a two year old girl. I bought her 2 year old daughter a cabage patch doll that is soft and squish like a baby, and fits in preemie clothes. I also got her a special toy baby bottle that looks like the milk disappears when she feeds her dolly. This way when mom has her new baby and her hands are too full to tend to her two year old, rather than feeling left out, she can help out by copying mommy. She enjoyed this so much we got her two year old a diaper bag and preemie diapers too.

Michaela - posted on 03/30/2010

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Just keep talking to her about the baby growing in your belly and that she is going to be a big sister. Then when the baby comes just be sure to include her in his care. Fetching you his diapers and wipes. Helping you get his bath ready. My sons are 17 months apart and then my second son and daughter are 19 months apart. They did really well.

Cassandra - posted on 03/30/2010

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i bought my baby girl a pram and a doll and when we had showers together i would ask her to wash charlee (when she was still in the belly), she would carefully wash her and she pattered her and everything, then when she came she was really careful, i dont know it was easier then i thought it would be

Karri - posted on 03/29/2010

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I think that getting a baby doll is a great thing as well. (to explain to them how to treat a new baby) My best friend just had a baby very early and her two older children had to stay with grandma for a few weeks while my friend went back and forth to the hospital every 3 hours to feed her newest baby. However, because she had prepared her older 2 children, they handled it very well. She showed them pictures of babies inside the womb and made the child feel real to them before he was ever born. She explained to them everything that they could possibly expect. Now, that being said, it is a little hard to explain things to a 17 month old. So I would really keep it simple. Show her lots of pictures of babies in the womb and then point to your belly. keep her involved throughout your whole pregnancy. Have her sing to the baby. things like that. I definitely agree with the exchanging gifts suggestion as well!!! That is an awesome idea. and make sure that every day she still gets one on one time with you. Good Luck.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/29/2010

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haha nothing to worry about :) Get her a baby doll and some new accessories for her baby doll, when she is sitting next to you, point to you belly and say your brother "name" is in mommy's belly, have her give kisses and hugs. My two are 2 yrs and one month apart and just about everyone had something to say on how hard and difficult it would be. NOT AT ALL! Your daughter is going to want to help, when your son gets here and you should let her. Alex is not jealous of her baby sister, she wants to get the diapers, throw them away, play with her, try and feed. It's great and she understand that sissy cry's more...We still give her attention, play, call her our princess...And for the most part it is the same amount as before. It will be okay

LaShonda - posted on 03/29/2010

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I went through the exact same thing just last year. My new baby was born 2 weeks after my toddler turned 2. Preparing her for the arrival of her new baby sister was kind of easy. First, continue to allow her to be the princess. That doesn't have to change. Talk to her about her new little brother and ask for as much input from her as u can possibly stand. When shopping for the new baby, take her along and let her pick out some of her favorite things for him. That way she feels included. And when baby arrives, let her assist with the bottle feedings, pamper changing and even bathing him. This will soon make her feel like he's her baby too. Also, whenever possible after he gets here, steel some mommy and me time just for you and her. Let her see that she's still one of the most important princesses to you and daddy. Have fun and enjoy.

Mari - posted on 03/29/2010

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I bought my daughter ( age 29 months) a doll that cries & says mama, that way, I'm hoping she will be a little mama to her baby when I have to care for our new baby (when he arrives). I've also showed her ultrasounds & told her that I have her baby brother growing inside of me & let her feel baby kick. She was a bit creeped out at first, but now, every evening, sits on lap & rubs lotion into my belly & talks to her baby brother. It gives us time together & she already sings to her baby brother.

Laura - posted on 03/29/2010

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so, my daughter was 2 1/2 when i was pregnant with my son, but we had the same fears...how do you make a little girl who's used to ALL the attention, understand that she's going to have to share? we spent a lot of time during the pregnancy letting her get used to the idea that a baby was coming...let her feel the baby move a lot, she got to go to the ultrasound appointment, help buy things for the new baby (and would get a special treat every time) and we always refered to our son as HER new brother. The biggest thing was to make her understand that she would have a big part of taking care of HER brother...that he was going to be an itty bitty little thing that wouldn't even be able to feed himself or hold his own head up for awhile and that she was a big sister and have to help keep him safe. We worried up until she met her little brother in the hospital, about how she would deal with a new baby...but in the end she was wonderful with him. she even got to hold him right off the bat (with help of course) and she just went from little princess to little mommy instantly lol.

Allison - posted on 03/28/2010

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When i was pregnant with my second baby, i involved my two year old as much as i could. i took him to ultrasound appointments and asked if he could see the baby on the tv. he loved it and was telling everyone that he saw the baby on the tv. i tried not to focus to much on the new baby but talked about how he would be able to help me with the baby and how much fun it was going to be being the big brother. So far everything seems to be working out. Good luck, you might get a nice suprise at how well she copes.

Julie - posted on 03/28/2010

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These are great tips. The only thing different I can add is to buy your daughter all the baby doll equipment. My daughter was 22 months when my now 4 month old was born. About a month before I was due we bought her the doll set with the swing, high chair, bouncy seat, and stroller; and showed her how to care for her dolls. It really helped her get a real feel of what taking care of a baby was like. We also did the exchanging of gifts and that was the best thing we could have done. Everything I was afraid of (the jealousy and stuff) ended up happening with my daughter, but in that moment that she gave her baby sister the gift she felt so special and she was so happy to receive a gift from the baby.

Gemma - posted on 03/27/2010

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i have an 18 month old daughter and her new brother or sister is due the 26 th june. she will be 21 months. i plan to try and involve her as best as i can hopefully she will take to the new addidtion. good luck with your new addiion and i hope all goes well for both of us.

Alicia - posted on 03/27/2010

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My oldest son was 16 months when I found out I was pregnant again. I thought the same thing, that he wasn't going to get along with his baby brother. The best advice I can give u is to involve your daughter with everything that has to do with your pregnancy. When you get ultrasound pics show them to her and tell her that's her baby brother. Let her feel your stomach when the baby kicks. After he's born let her help get his diapers stuff like that. She will feel more important and helpful if she can be involved.

Katie - posted on 03/27/2010

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;) You know I wrote an article about this for BabyGizmo full of my favorite tips that always helped me.

http://www.babygizmo.com/news/siblingriv...

I have 4 now and literally I've never had any trouble with my kids not being ready, not to mentioned over the top excited, about having a new little baby. ;) All I did was what I wrote.

April - posted on 03/27/2010

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try telling her that it's her baby take her the doc apptments with you and when you have the baby let her help with him I know my 15 month old daughter loves to help with her baby suster

Louise - posted on 03/27/2010

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Hi,
When I as having my second son I involved my then 2 and a half year old son by involving him. He helped get the nursery ready in his own little way and I bought him a book about new baby and big brothers help, which was all about the family and their reactions to the new arrival. I also bought him a garage and cars and wrapped it up so when the family turned up with presents for the baby I brought it out and said it was a present from his brother to which he was thrilled. Then over the first few months he was mummys helper fetching nappies and wipes when needed. I had no problems at all because he felt like the big brother who was to old for nappies there for babies and we have never looked back. I now have an 18 year old, 16 year old and a 16 month old and my two boys absolutely dote on my daughter she is a lucky girl she has three father figures!. Don't worry normally your first child will be inquisative but remember to over praise her for being gentle and loving and you should not have any problems! Good luck

Laine - posted on 03/26/2010

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Each time I've brought home a new baby I have given my toddler a dolly - I told them that the new addition got it for them ( i know this sounds mad but it includes all the family, and getting something special from the new baby is well received ) each time I fed our new baby the toddler would sit and "feed" or after the new baby had a bath I would let them use the bath next with their dolly. They love it & it doesn't last for long because soon enough it's like the baby's always been there. Don't stress on it - they adapt very quickly

Adrienne - posted on 03/26/2010

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Hi Lisa,
At least your daughter will have a better understanding then what my oldest did when he got his baby brother on his 1st birthday. My mom has a baby doll at her house which is what we tried to show my son what we were going to be bringing home and how we act with the baby. I also bought a book by mercer mayer that tells about bringing home a new baby. We let him feel the baby moving in the belly. Also when I was breastfeeding he would sit next to me reading books or playing nicely. We always asked if he wanted to help us out with his baby brother, which he didn't really care about doing at the time. Oh the one thing I can say for sure is that your daughter's nose might be out of joint for a month or two because she use to be the only one in the household and now mommy and daddy have to give the NEW baby attention.

Lauren - posted on 03/26/2010

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Lisa,
I was same when I was expecting my 2nd. My son was the only grandson on both sides and the only "baby" grandchild, the others were about 10yrs old, so he was used to alot of attention.
My mum gave me the best advise and I hope it can help you too. 1st when your boy arrives expect your daughter to "rebel" by going backwards ie asking for a dummy, acting like a baby etc as her way of getting the attention back (if it works for the baby im gonna be a baby), not all do it but many.
Secondly decide on things NOW, ie if shes no longer going to be in the pram start stopping her now, if shes going to be in a new car seat get it now and so on, so she wont feel like the baby isnt taking everything from her.
Thirdly get her involved, get her to help set the nursery up, pack hospital bags, pick out clothes, change diaper...as much as possible have her help
Forthly have her pick out a special pressent for your son, wrap it and everything. Then buy her something special, wrap it and dont let her know. When she first meets her little brother exchange gifts (remembering that the pressie to her came from the baby not you)
And lastly I found having special things to do while feeding, not only kept my son amused but allowed me to concentrate on feeding, we have special DVD's and books just for while I was feeding. And while the baby slept i made sure I gave plenty of attention.
I found the first few days a little shaky but all in all my son took to his little sister so well.
Best of luck and hope some of this helps.

Mariah - posted on 03/26/2010

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i prepared my son by buying a baby doll and showing him how to hold them, treat them. and then when my daughter came he got to help make bottles and get diapers. Eventually after they realize that the baby is staying, they learn to accept them and helping becomes more fun for them.

Jennifer - posted on 03/25/2010

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I FOUND IT HELPFUL TO MAKE THEM FEEL EXTRA SPECIAL BY MAKING THEM THE BIG HELPERS. WHEN THE BABY NEEDED A DIAPER CHANGE I WOULD ASK MY OLDEST SON TO HELP BY BRINGING A DIAPER ETC. ALSO INCLUDE THEM IN THE FEEDINGS, WHEN FEEDING THE BABY, HAVE THE OLDER CHILD SING TO THEM, ETC. IT WORKED FOR ME...HOPEFULLY IT HELPS YOU!!

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