How do I stop the tantrums???

Amber - posted on 11/03/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My 2 year old son has the worst temper. He yells and throws himself on the floor when he doesn't get what he wants. He pushes and pushes every button I have. Talks back constantly. Not to mention his older siblings taught him some wonderful words he likes to use. I know this is just a typical 2 year old, I'm sure. But, how can I lessen the tantrums??

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Cerena - posted on 11/05/2009

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As a Mother of three (ages 28, 26 and 3 year old) and Grandmother of two (ages 5 and 6), I can tell you that in my opinion I would never put a 2 year old child in the bathroom and here's why...two year olds are top heavy (head is bigger in proportion to their body). In other words, children can end up in the toilet upside down and don't have the physical strength or size to pick themselves up out of the toilet and can end up drowning very easily. The same can be true for a three year old, especially if the child is small. Also, two year olds are nose breathers and can drown because they haven't learned to breathe through their mouth effectively to get enough oxygen. By 3-4 years old they have generally learned that they can breathe through their mouth and nose. Also, there is so much in a bathroom that a child can hurt themselves on...fall in the tub, hit their head, eat soap (some soap has lye in it and depending on the amount can be very harmful to a child), choke on small objects (even a toothbrush) and they can end up fearing the bathrom. More injuries happen in the bathroom and an unsupervised young child in a bathroom is an accident or tradegy waiting to happen. Even if you are on the otherside of the closed door it just takes a split second for the unexpected to happen even if your child is brighter than the average child and you have "never had to worry", why risk it? Lastly, children have better memories than most people think and if the bathrom becomes an unsafe place for them then toileting, bathing and even brushing teeth can be a monumental task.



As far as tantrums, every child has them...it was a nightmare for about 5-6 weeks with my youngest daughter. I thought I would go bald or insane...nothing seemed to work except we finally ignored her and praised her constantly when she was good.

Eventually she figured it out and stopped on her own. The time out chair never worked for us nor did the bedroom supposed "quiet time". It worked for friends but not us. As I said every child is different. I have three kids and none of them have been the same. As far as bad words, my kid was no angel and used what she heard from other people finaly I told her in a small (low) voice, even though she screamed I maintained low volume, that I would be happy to talk to her when she could talk nicely and then ignored her. Eventually she got the message that she had to be quiet enough to hear what I said and then I pulled her on my lap and told her that I liked it when she was nice and would listen. Use words they understand, they are only mimicking words they have heard and know what buttons to push. Hope this helps. I am far from an expert and when I think I know something to be true with regard to my children they remind me of how little I know and how flexible I have to be in my own learning process.



Lastly, tantrums come and go...my daughter had them when she was two and she is almost 4 now and they have just started again...so I too am reliving this experience and again practicing this method. It tough especially when you are a single Mom (I was with the first two kids) but sometimes I counted under my breath and took deep breaths before I began just so i would sound and appear calm even if I was frazzled inside. If kids think that they are getting to you the drama heightens, the calmer you are the more the child will see they are not as effective. It does work with patience, kind words, a soft voice and Tylenol or aspirin for the adult going through it when all is said and done.

Jennifer - posted on 11/05/2009

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my 2 year old little one has a huge temper.... ignore ignore ignore... he will quickly learn she gets no attention from it.. when he calms down give her lots of hugs and attention .. praise praise praise. When she starts hitting me to get attention i put her in the bathroom for a time out.. keeping near the door and checking/asking if she has calmed down.. when she can respond calmly i let her out. I have only had to do this 2x in 6 months.. usually i can just threaten the bathroom and she calms right down. Letting her learn how to self soothe is the most important.. Making sure to stay consistant.. so your child knows with 100% certainty what the consequence will be.. never threaten unless you plan on carrying i through to the end. Hope this helps. Jenn

Sherley - posted on 11/04/2009

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My son use to throw tantrums too. I used the naughty seat and it helps. If he had a tantrum I would put him in the chair until he calmed down. He didn't like it very much and he got up a several times but every time he got up I would put him right back in his seat. When he threw tantrums in public, I would just ignore him because I knew he was doing it for attention. I have 3 kids and I find that if they know that bad behavior will not be tolerated, they usually figure out a better way to communicate.

Cathrin - posted on 11/03/2009

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Well, i was just about to write the same question myself as I am having trouble to. There is often no reasoning with a toddler!! The only thing that I do that works sometimes, depending on the location, is timeout. I know toddlers may seem a bit young for this but sometimes my daughter gets put in her bedroom for 5 mins. Even if she doesn't settle much it still gives me time to pull myself together and approach things from a different angle. Kids seem to notice when your relaxed and when your stressed. They respond much better to a relaxed vibe I believe.

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