how do you explain to a child that the reason they dont have a father is because he killed himself?

Rachel - posted on 06/14/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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my daughters is 11 months old.. her father killed himself the other day.

what do i tell her as she gets older???

i dont remember much good stuff about him...

6 Comments

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Nikki - posted on 12/07/2010

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Sorry to hear that . My daughter was 16 months old when her father over dosed and died . As she grew up and got to the age she could understand and began asking me questions , I was always honest with her and simply told her the truth and how sorry I was for her and explained how I grieved as well so it was ok to grieve for him even though she couldn't remember him . I always showed her photos of them together and told her all the time how much he loved her and what a great Dad he was to her. SHe loved to hear the stories about him :) He was a wonderful Dad and I hurt for her that she missed out on knowing him . There is never "closure" in this type of situation. I know as my daughter is now 22. SHe was always affected by it her entire life even though she never "knew" him. I would definately focus on only the positive :) God Bless :)

Cyn - posted on 06/16/2009

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I would wait untill shes older, and try not to tell her about the bad memories. Just be honest with her when she asks how he died...

[deleted account]

First of all, I'm SO sorry for your situation and you are in my prayers. Also, I think that it's a good thing your daughter is too little to know what's going on except that I'm sure she senses that you are upset. I would tell her that her Daddy is in heaven and that he loves her very much (even if that isn't true...I don't know). I think it's important that she know that she has a birth father that is no longer here. When she is older, maybe in her teens or pre-teens, maybe then she will be ready for the truth but until then, there's no reason to upset her with the truth. If she grows up thinking of her father the bad things that you remember (as you don't remember much good) then she may grow up thinking that there is something wrong with HER. You don't want that, I'm sure. Again, my condolences on your and your daughter's loss.

Kelly - posted on 06/14/2009

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Im sorry to hear about that. I think that honesty is the best, but only when she is old enough to really understand. In the meantime I would simply say that he went to heaven and if she asks why then just tell her that when she is older you'll explain. As far and you not having fond memories about him I wouldn't volunteer that info to her. She doesn't need to know.





good luck

Chanitha - posted on 06/14/2009

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Rachel when she is age appropriate just tell her the truth, you will know when that time is but from now until she is about five nine out of ten times she will not ask about her dad unless you mention him. so keep you faith instill in the lord and everything will workout. Chanitha

Chanitha - posted on 06/14/2009

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Rachel when she is age appropriate just tell her the truth, you will know when that time is but from now until she is about five nine out of ten times she will not ask about her dad unless you mention him. so keep you faith instill in the lord and everything will workout. Chanitha

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