how do you reason with a toddler

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User - posted on 07/15/2009

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Personally I don't reason with my toddler. I get on his level, tell him what I want from him whether it is stop touching something, stop throwing something, stop climbing on something, walk next to mommy, etc. I let him know if he doesn't listen what the consequence will be and follow through if he choses to disobey.

[deleted account]

i agree with everyone.. but another thing is to get down to their eye level.. when you are down to their level they hear more of what you are saying and seem to listen more.

Stephanie - posted on 07/14/2009

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I agree with Sarah, 'reason' is a very relative term. I find that eye contact, getting down on their level and using very basic words helps. However, they often like to push the boundaries as they explore their independence etc, so no matter what, a tantrum often occurs. When that happens with my 22 month old, I just sit close by and wait for her to calm down before trying to 'reason' with her. I find that if I try while she's in the middle of a tantrum, it just makes her worse. Consistency, calm and reasonable behaviour from us is the only way for them to learn. Although, we're only human and this just isn't possible every moment of the day!

[deleted account]

I think "reason" is a relative term for a toddler. Keeping it simple is important. For example, boil it down to a cause and effect. For example, we don't touch the hot stove because it could hurt you very much. They don't need a dissertation on heat transfer or second degree burns. They may not be happy with the "no", but I feel like a certain amount of resistance is normal. So they still may scream in your face and throw a tantrum, but you've reasoned with them and set the limit, and they've got to learn to obey. At least that's my take... I try to stay calm and reasonable and I think that helps them know that it's just the way it is.

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