How do you stop a two year old from hitting you or others?

Nicole - posted on 03/08/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My daughter has stopped throwing temper tantrums because I wouldnt give it any attention. Now she hits me when shes mad or frustated something isnt going her way. I also look after another boy whose two and he is the same way. I have tried the time out thing and thats not getting through. I dont want to 'ignore' as Im against hitting or even hitting back. I have even tried putting her in her room with a gate up but she hucks things over and the bigger the louder the bang it makes seems to be what she chooses to throw. I dont being angry and yelling at her but am coming to my wits end.

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Sabrina - posted on 03/08/2010

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well i was really against the hitting back thing too, but then i figured out a little trick. you don't actually spank them!! what i mean is that you act like you are going to spank them but you actually hit ur own hand cover their butt!! they just need to hear the sound of ur hands connecting the the slight feel of ur hand pushing down with the force of the connection between hands. it worked for my nephew and my daughter. they actually think that they are getting the full force.

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Lea - posted on 03/14/2010

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Another thing you can do besides time out is to take away a privilege, or offering a reward. For example, give a reward for no hitting all morning, then when they master that, give one for not hitting all day. Also try to think of what they could do when they are mad instead of hitting and direct them to that.

Cara - posted on 03/13/2010

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have you tried telling her no hitting because my 2 year old daughter is the same way my boyfriend and I tell her no hitting to love mommie and daddy

Hush - posted on 03/12/2010

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I did the same as Lora when turtle was younger. Now that she is to it doesn't work so well her attention span is longer.
These days i use positive reinforcement when she is good and doing things well i praise her. I went to walking away stating you hurt me and coming back lengthing the time hen she did it again, that worked for a month or so (no mummy)
Now when she is doing wrong i tell her she hurt me and wont like it if i hurt her so please dont.
I also tried say" i liked it when you" did ...... this morning did you want to do it again if your good for .... we" ill do it.

Kathy - posted on 03/10/2010

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a lots of time out. every time he hits , time out , she would get that she is punished every time she hits and eventually she would stop her behavior.. good luck.

Lora - posted on 03/10/2010

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I think that my daughter may be slightly younger than yours, but I have recently had a similar situation come up. She is 11 months old. My daughter decided that scratching when she is mad or upset seemed to be the thing to do. While I am against spanking I have smacked her hands when she is doing a dangerous behavior (hot stove, etc.) The solution that I came up with here was really simple yet effective. When she scratches, I redirect her behavior into something else. For example, she scratches and I tell her "No, pat Momma". Then I show her how to pat nicely. She gets so wrapped up in patting me that she totally forgets that she was mad and wanted to scratch. I hope this can help.

Sarah - posted on 03/08/2010

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I would try teaching both kids how to use their words more during those situations. When one hits let them know that that is not acceptable behavior then let them know what to do instead. Like...I am mad because I wanted that toy. Then teach them how to ask the other person if they could play with the toy. If the other person says "No" then let her/him know that "Joe" is playing with the toy right now and when he is done it will be your turn. Once you know they have a better understanding of how to use their words (I would say at least a few months) then I would give a reminder to use their words when you see one hit or bit if they continue to not use their words and keep hitting then I would give a time out.

Marcy - posted on 03/08/2010

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Nicole- Just yesterday I was having a lovely day with my son (he's 3 1/2) who typically is a great kid who is gentle and kind. We left the place we were at and in the parking lot he started acting up (I wouldn't buy him a toy) and he was punching my legs. I knelt down tot alk to him and he bawled his fist up and hit me in the face. This morning at school he told one of the little girls who is his friend that he didn't want to be friends with her anymore and that he had a new friend. This is all coming from my sweet child in less than 24 hours. Needless to say, I've been stewing in it all day. We do not physically repremand our child nor would I ever. In rare situations we have had to do modified time outs..He has been wanting to go to LegoLand so I think we are going to have a big family conversation tonight about his behavior. We will see where that leads...good luck!

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