how to deal with a bully toddler

Aicha - posted on 08/27/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

1,533

320

351

I need some help my 2 year old is a bully to other children when ever I take her around other children she will starch them , pull hair ,hit and bite time outs do nothing neither does telling her no , It is to the point I can not take her out in public her father thinks it's cute and he says she'll grow out of it but the older she gets the worse she gets

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kimberly - posted on 08/28/2011

785

23

317

I hear your pain and frustration!!! My daughter is almost two and would always be biting,hitting,etc. I was so on edge whenever we were at play date they were no fun. I found the only thing that really worked for me was when she would hit,bit,etc I would get down on her level and tell her no and that what she did wasnt nice and hurt her friend then I would put her away from the toys and kids and ignore her. I know people might think this is wrong which it is but ignoring her and keeping playing with the other kids was the only thing that seemed to work. I will make her sit out for a few minutes then talk to her again telling her that we dont hurt our friends and make her give kisses and cuddles( she cant say sorry yet) If she hurt them over a toy she still isnt allowed that toy. It took awhile to get the message through to her and the same punishment is given wether were out or at home. My husband didnt like it at first and was the same as yours saying she'd grow out of it until he seen first hand her hurting a kid younger then her and how embarassing it is. She still has her bad days and I find that she is at her worst if she is tired or hungry. I know many people might not agree with this way but it's what worked for us and she has learned that hurting people is not accepted. good luck I hope it helps

3 Comments

View replies by

Lilliana - posted on 08/30/2011

214

11

23

Well the first Thing you need to do is make sure you and hubby are on the same page, your daughter will know if there is a weak link and if she can get away with it with one of you it won't stop.
Try explaining to your husband that it isn't cute to you.
Then you need to set a punishment and stick to it, firmly. If you go for time outs, do then everytime- and the key to this is 0 attention, no talking no yelling! Just pick her up put her in her room and leave her there for 5 minutes!
You said time outs don't work, have you tried choices? For example "honey we are going on a play date and here is your choice- you can be nice and we can stay and have lots of fun, or you can bite or hurt the other kids and we are leaving and you don't get to come here again." follow through!! Every time!

Good luck!

Christy - posted on 08/30/2011

2,218

41

438

My son did do this and sometimes still does. He gets 2 strikes (like in baseball, not me hitting him) via time outs and if he keeps it up, we are outta there. (he's 4 now).

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms