How to deal with temper tantrums...

Wendy - posted on 11/09/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

13

30

0

My son is turning 2 in January and has recently started having temper tantrums. Sometimes it is very embarresing (like in the shops) and I really don't know how to deal with it. I've tried ignoring him and that sometimes works. But I get the feeling that he gets awfully frustated, expecially since we don't understand what it is about. He has only now started speaking and only one word at a time, so that makes it difficult to understand what the hell is going on. ANY advice will be appreciated. I do not believe in punishment through means of a hiding an such, but any advice that could help me control or minimize the tantrums (especially in public) will be appreciated! I doubt my own capabilites as a mother and this increases the stress levels on these occations...

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Wendy - posted on 11/09/2009

13

30

0

Can it really be that easy???????? I will certainly give it a try *- thank you!!!!!!

K.C. - posted on 11/09/2009

130

13

41

When he's having a temper tantrum in public, bend down and whisper something in his ear. He shuts up because he is curious about what you are saying...then distract him....

[deleted account]

I went through this for a year and a half. The whispering in public never worked I had to remove him from the situation screaming and throwing a fit, as far as in the home, he threw one so bad at 1.5 years old he smack my grandmother in the mouth. We tried it all time out, spankings, taking away things of enjoyment, finally the only thing that worked was put him in his crib, close the door and walk away. When he was done and calmed down we would go get him. After about a month of this he realized his tantrums didn't bother anyone but himself and were a waste of time and we have been happy ever since.

Amy - posted on 11/09/2009

20

7

1

Any time we have to go out I make sure its either first thing in the morning or after her nap. I also make sure she has a full sippy and a snack (goldfishes or something easy and not sugary). If your child is busy eating or drinking they can't cry. When my daughter was younger i always brought a favorite toy for her to play with.

However, sometimes these things don't work. When this happens try to limit your time out. If you have a lot of errands to run try to break it up between a few days instead of all at once. It will get you out of the house more (a big plus) and sometime big outings are too much for a little one to handle (too many new things and people).

As far a tantrums at home we do the ingnoring, time outs (1 minute per year old), and taking things away for a while. Remember the punishment should fit the crime. And if you make rules or punishments you HAVE to stick to it, kids are very smart no matter how young they are. If you don't uphold these things they will run over you have have even more attitude problems later.

Praise is always a good thing. Reward good behavior. If your child is good at the store let them know how pround of them that you are. Hope this helps.

16 Comments

View replies by

Sharyn - posted on 08/30/2011

258

9

19

If my 2 year old throws a tantrum in public .... i bend down to her level and ask her to stop and tell her she is only embarressing herself, does she want other people to see how naughty she can be? she usually stops .... at home, i just walk away from it, or tell her to go to her time out .... i know sometimes these things dont work but i think a tantrum usually occurs if they are hungry or tired ..

Fabiana - posted on 08/14/2011

23

4

3

hiha my son was the same as yours at 2 yr and he's now 2yr 10months his tantrum slow down when we go out but he still does at home my son only knew to say 4 words although he stop saying them, we just find out 3 weeks ago that my son ears are blocked and now i think some of his tantrums and head ad something do do with it, don't stress your self many children go through this stage some worse than others don't stop going into shops because of it tell him you need to be there ,with time he will get the message be calm and try not to worry about other people...

Cassie - posted on 11/16/2009

8

10

0

My son is just shy of a year, so if he throws a tantrum I put him in the middle of the living room and walk a few feet away. After a few minutes, I look at him and tell him I'll pick him up when he stops crying. When he breaks and looks at me, I pick him up and comfort him. I was a nanny a few years ago, and when the older kids (4 yrs) did this, they were put in a room alone for time out. They got to calm down - since it was a guest room with no toys or distractions - and it gets pretty boring in a room by yourself.

Catherine - posted on 11/15/2009

85

10

15

my 2 year old throws really bad tantrums at home all the time, usually when tired. we find ignoring him works but now he is in a bed not a cot its harder to put him somewhere safe, so i still ignore him but at the same time get his crayons or fav dvd and act as if i want to watch it or draw and he just cant resist coming to see what i'm doing. we dont punish him for them as i think its mainly frustration and he seems to scare himself so i dont think punishing is right, but he knows it is bad and is always made to say sorry before interacting with us again. in public we use many of the above things, always have drinks and snacks, try not to take them out when tired or irritable and take plenty of toys. there will always be times when they kick off anyway but then we just take him out of the situation. back to the car, or to a quiet bench somewhere and sit it out. and try not to be embarrased, it's just one of those things and when you see people looking most of them are probably remembering a time when their kid did the same!

Samantha - posted on 11/13/2009

11

12

1

Oh, and when we are in the store and I pick her up...I face her away from me. I dont know why, but if I face her towards me she continues to act out, but not so when I face her away from me...

Samantha - posted on 11/13/2009

11

12

1

Anytime we are out in public and my daughter has a tantrum, I pick her up and continue my shopping with her on my hip...She easily becomes distracted with things at a higher level, and she see's she is getting no reaction from me since I just ignore her...Lol. At home, I just walk away...If she throws herself to the ground, I say alright and walk away...She see's I'm ignoring her, gets up, and follows me to the other room....I also do not believe in physical punishment, and this method works great for us! Good luck

Christina - posted on 11/13/2009

12

17

0

honestly, there are a few different things i've done with my 2 boys. if we are at a store and they throw a fit about a snack they want ot something, of course i dont give it to them. i tell them what they need to do in order to earn it. but my kids usually threw a tantrum when they were tired or just had a long day. so if that was the case and we were in a store i'd give them something to snack on to keep them busy. sometimes takin them buy the fish tanks full of fish or birds sometimes that are in stores will calm them down. at home i walk away...at home it's a different story. i turn everything off so it's quiet, bend down to their eye level and ask if they want to play the quiet game. youknow...whoever can be quiet the longest wins. something little like that. and then reward for being quiet.

Virginia - posted on 11/13/2009

7

13

1

Thanks wendy this is something I also have been having alot of problems with also! just not knowing what to do or the most effective and appropiate way to handle a two year when throwing a fit in public. I too am very embarassed and unsure of what to do. anyways this post has helped me with a few new approaches to try!!!! Thanks all

Wendy - posted on 11/10/2009

13

30

0

Nope Yesenia... I am usually so ashamed (in public) that I just remove him from the situation. At home the ignoring really seems to work, but it's really hard to ignore him when in a public place. And I feel his frustration, because he does not know another way to express how he is feeling or what the tantrum is about. I don't take him out when it is nap time or when he is hungry. We usually pick him up from day care and go to the shops for bread or milk or whatever. And by then he has had his nap and lunch and snacks. He does not do it every day, but about once a week. I have tried distracting as well, but my son has the will of 10 grown men when he wants something. So it usually does not work.. sometimes it does, depending on the need I suppose. And I know I shouldn't feel embarresed as most people go through the same thing with their own children, but the way they look at you, makes you feel that you are failing as a mother and that your child does not have any discipline or respect for you. At home he is really a wonderful, loving, happy and amazing son. He can keep himself busy for hours just playing on his own and we rarely have "arguments" (for lack of a better word). But I feel that the way I discipline him at home during tantrums (i.e. the ignoring) should be carried through to public places as well. So I will have to be consistant with both places. So I clearly cannot do the ignoring in plublic. I once did that - I just stood next to him whilst he was having his fit on the floor until he calmed down - but the looks I got were appauling!

Yesenia - posted on 11/10/2009

10

5

1

Have you tried giving him lots of kisses and start tickling him and say something silly or make a silly face while hes throwing a temper tantrum

Kelly - posted on 11/09/2009

131

7

18

My son also turns two in January, but I've been dealing with temper tantrums for the better part of the last year! When at home, ignoring the tantrums and walking away really does work (especially if you know what the tantrums about). Basically this just let's the child know that they are not going to get their own way just because of their tantrum. There is a huge difference in my son's behaviour when my husband is home because my husband often gives into the tantrums, but when he's at work my son barely even bothers trying anymore (it's actually often easier for me when my husband isn't home).

In regards to dealing with tantrums when in public, it can often be a matter of sitting them out. Generally though if they know a tantrum doesn't work at home and after testing it out in public a few times with the same results they usually learn not to bother trying this method pretty quickly. Of course there are time when kids are more likely to have tantrums. These usually coincide with when they are getting tired or hungry, so it helps to avoid outings around nap times and take snacks with you.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms