How to deal with your 2 year old child in front of other people if he hits the other child?

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Jenni - posted on 02/12/2011

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My rule is "you hit, you sit" doesn't make a difference where we are. There are no warnings for hitting. We have a zero tolerence rule for it.

First I ask the other child if they are ok and console them or find their parent to console them.

Then we find an appropriate spot for a TO. He gets 2 mins.

I tell him why he is in TO "We don't hit because hitting hurts"

After TO I ask him why he is there. (He's old enough to tell me why but before he could I would just explain to him why he was there)

Then he says sorry to me for misbehaving and I give him a hug and explain to him what he should have done instead "use words" You have to take into consideration why your son hit in that situation to appropriately explain what a better course of action would have been. He may be hitting defensively, the other child took a toy away. In which case you may say: "I know Johnny made you mad when he took that toy from you but we don't hit. we use our words. Say I'm mad you took the toy away. Please give it back!"

Then I have him appologize to the child he hit.

No need to yell or scold just speak in a firm authoratative voice.

Kim - posted on 02/09/2011

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I wouldn't scold him but I would say, "no, we dont hit" and "sorry". It doesnt have to be in a yelling voice, just firm. Take him to the side and explain the consequence of his actions as soon as it happens.

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Charlee - posted on 02/11/2011

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I never just let it go OR wait for later. At this age, even if you wait minutes between when it happened and when you talk to them about it....they will forget what they did.

I get real close to my child so they are the only one who can hear me and we "discuss" what happened. I make sure they know what they did was wrong, they hurt someone and they hurt my feelings too. They are then to apologize to the child and the mom. Child for hitting and the mom for behaving badly.

Did this with both of my children from a very young age and I am (knock on wood) not have many issues with my 3 and 5 yr olds.

Krissy - posted on 02/09/2011

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at two, he's still learning boundaries, so instruction with an apology sounds good, unless it continues... then it's time to apologize again, and a time for a time out...

It's not what you say that matters at this point, it's more what you do. Scolding him in front or not in front of people means nothing to a two year old. They only need to know the boundary and the consequences. During the consequences, though, it's nice to add that hitting (or whatever) hurts people. But an all out scolding isn't needed. However, I discipline in public the same as I do in private... I've even swatted my kids in public... though I've kept that at minimum!

Jen - posted on 02/09/2011

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u tell him no you dont hit its not nice say sorry to the child if the other child isnt older enough to understand sorry it for u to say sorry to the parent of the child say im soo sorry for my sons behaviour

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