I am having moments. I mostly cope we;; enough. I am however finding having 2 two yr old and an infant is a task that I am ill suited for. I am a very good mum to 1, but add a second and i stress. The other night I had an all out panic attack where I started hyper ventalating. I obssed because My 8mth old hadn't napped all day. I wanted my 2yr old son to just be quiet for 5 min. so that I could get the little one down. By 5pm (the witching hour) I lost it. Thank God I have awsome neightbours. One of them came and took my son to play with her children and repremanded me for not alling her earlier (which I have in hinde site must agree was sage advise). I really just want to know how other mums are coping with 2nd, 3rd + child. Does it get better after a point?

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Daphne - posted on 12/05/2008

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I babysit for a mum with two boys who are about one year apart. The eldest is almost two years old... so i know it can be pretty tough. I'm sure it gets better at some point. In any case, I just wanted to say that if it starts getting really crazy, get a babysitter for a couple hours every week and get some alone time. Every good mother deserves a break, so they can come back and tackle the next crazy few hours! :) Check out http://www.myJambi.com, there are a good number of babysitters there at competitive rates. If not, there's also craigslist. In any case, make sure you get help if you need it! :)

Christine - posted on 12/04/2008

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I can totally relate! My boys are 21 months apart and there have been many days when I hit the same place as you and just stood in the middle of the room, let out a scream, then realized it scared the boys, and started to cry. Take advantage of anyone who offers to help -you need the break! I have no family available to help and only a few friends around who don't have little ones of their own, so it is tough to get a break, but I've learned even a half hour with a babysitter so I can leave the house and get away for awhile works. I've even sat in my car in a parking lot with a book just to get out of the house and de-stress! I do have to say also that as they have gotten older (they are 2 and 4 now) it has gotten easier - but I've been getting more sleep now too. We still have our days, but they are fewer and less intense. Hang in there!

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I have a 2 1/2year old and a 5 month old....so I totally can relate. It's enough to make you lose your mind! I know it will get easier when they get a bit older...hang in there...we're all in the same boat!

Tarilyn - posted on 12/02/2008

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In all honestly Karen, I have one child and I do the SAME thing! I have panic attacks over EVERYTHING!!! When my daughter doesn't nap, I am dead by 5pm. I am in a pure panic and I have to take my medication for it. It's hard. But take all the help you can get! If your neighbour offers to help, TAKE IT!!! Don't be ashamed!!! I am a stresser as well, and its hard. Don't worry though, as the kids get older and calmer, things will get better (at least that is what I tell myself lol!). Good luck hun and don't worry, things won't always be this hard!!!

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Hi, I have 3 boys aged 6 yrs, 19 months and 3 months. The best bit of advice the health professionals told me is that if a baby needs to sleep they will sleep through noise and it's true. I dont have anyone to help me as i moved to Brum last Nov and my new neighbours are elderly. Both my mother and my husbands mothers passed away and we don't see/get along with our dads. I have no family close by and when my hubby's at work i'm all alone. I thought that i wouldn't be able to cope and found myself trying to go around keeping Kyle quiet while Owen slept. Then i realised, the more i tried to keep him quiet, the more noise he made so I just let him get on with it and Owen still slept. It's good for them to learn to sleep through noise so that you don't have to try tiptoeing around at night as I do with my 6yr old. As he was the first and I was so quiet round him he's now such a light sleeper. You seem to have lovely friends so take up the offers of help, I would give anything to have a bit of help now and then! xx

Kristie - posted on 12/02/2008

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My children are 21 months apart and was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia this year. I also babysit my 2 year old neice. I just deal minute to minute. I try to plan out my days and take breaks. Things do get easier once you get into your own patterns. Sometimes things get done and sometimes they don't. Just remember you are only one person and it's ok to ask for help.

Jayne - posted on 12/02/2008

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Don't panic!!! I would suggest letting the baby sleep when the baby sleeps, they do what they need to. Give the older child some age appropriate chores to do, to keep her mind active and off making a noise. Promise to spend 5 minutes play time with the older one when the baby is asleep. You can also move the baby to another room if possible, say in the pram. I used to wrap my baby up in the pram and place him outside, obviously where i could see him and open the window ajar, so i could hear him. You'll find the fresh air makes them drop off fast. Try using the hoover, the noise often sends babies to sleep and keeps the older child on the sofa.
Try to relax, it's not the end of the world if the baby doesn't sleep, and you'll find when there ready to sleep no amount of noise will stop them, lol.
Try to unwind, count to ten, then laugh at yourself, when i find things getting on top of me i try to see the funny side. There just babies and dont realise that THEY are having this affect on you, they WILL notice if your getting uptight and may play up even more for attention, so the key is to keep smiling. Enjoy this time with them, even if it's chaotic.

Amber - posted on 12/01/2008

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For me it got better when they got older. When my middle girl turned 3 it got easier, a movie can hold her attention or I can make a deal with her to keep her quiet while I get the baby down. But I also have a 8 yr old and the younger ones are 3 and almost 2 yr old. The 8 yr old is a huge blessing and an awesome helper to her sisters! It will get easier!

Karen - posted on 12/01/2008

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Thanks Bethany.

Honestly, just hearing those kinds of words makes me feel hugely better. I have another clse friend who is going through the same thing. Ironically we're usually not at the same time so it means we can help the other stand a little stronger that day . . .

thanks

Bethany - posted on 12/01/2008

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I have four boys, ages; 9, 7, 5, and 2 year and a 6 month old baby girl. It does get better!! It really, truly does! I can't tell you exactly when, there's not a magic time or moment, but day after day you realize, oh, maybe I can handle this. Use your neighbors!! That's awesome that you have such helpful people living close by. Also, you said your little one is 8 months?? Post partum rears it's ugly head for another time right around 8-9 months so that could be a huge thing right now. 5:00 pm is witching hour!! Isn't that awful?! Take a deep breath, everyone says someday we'll miss all this!! I wish I could help more, hang in there, you're doing a great job!

Heather - posted on 12/01/2008

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When my son was born, my daughter was 2 1/2 years old, so I can relate. I had many near panic attacks and sometimes I do now. I can tell you this, it will get better, but scheduling is very helpful. I learned this the hard way, trust me. What is truly important is this..embrace the people who want to help you in your time of need. Allow to give yourself the time to breathe. You deserve it. It will be okay.

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