I love my son...

Rachel - posted on 10/26/2008 ( 6 moms have responded )

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but boy do these toddler years suck! I can't get him to stop screaming at me, and he is just so impatient! More than anything I want him to stop being so violent! He hits and kicks and screams and throws things and I literally have to sit on him for sometimes a half hour before he will calm down!! Any advice??

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I was looking through older posts, and found yours. My son has the same problems with his tempers. I was wondering if any of the advice has helped you?

Danielle - posted on 10/27/2008

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Thank God I'm not the only one! My son will be 3 in Jan. and we scream, kick, destroy every and anything we can get our hands on. I am taking things away left and right all day long and it doesn't seem to help. Time out for my husband and I is nearly impossible. My son has to be held in time out for the duration or he will not stay. We have tried it all. Tried being passive and ignoring the bad behavior and praising the good. That didn't seem to work. Then we tried getting onto him everytime he made a "bad choice" and that backfired as well. I know we can't give up or it will only get worse but I feel like all I ever do is get onto him or pick up after him. At night he tries, and sometimes is successful, at getting me to lay down in bed with him until he goes to sleep because if my husband or I don't it's world war three or we have a two year old sleeping sideways in our bed with us. I'm exhausted and am glad to know I'm not the only one out there. Thanks.

Tiffany - posted on 10/27/2008

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Lisa N and I did some of the same things. The only difference: I warned him if he threw the toy (or did whatever) that he would lose the privilege for the rest of the day. That way, he was reminded of the consequence and could make the choice (he didn't have to remember the consequence from yesterday, for example). A bad choice lost him his privilege. But it became his choice in that moment.



as for the screaming, i'm right there with you today. Jackson is fascinated with spitting. Our house rules say only outside. Today, he spit on the kitchen floor after dinner. He shows it to me, all proud. I ask him if that was a good choice or a bad choice. He smiles and says "A bad choice". What do you do with that?

Lisa - posted on 10/27/2008

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My son is now almost 2.5 and he went through this phase. I am thankful that it is done but to keep my sanity I used this general rule.... if he wasn't hurting himself or others I ignored it. If they don't get a reaction why do it. There main goal in life right now is to push, push, push you and its reward when they know they have won. It helped that I am a pretty competive person and thats what I just would think is that you are not going to win this. Of course I chose my battles.... but if you are at home and he is screaming let him scream... don't give him the satisfaction that it is bothering you. When you are out in public again don't try to scold him. You can ask him to use his inside voice but 9 times out of 10 that probably won't work go back to the car and let him scream. As for the kicking and hitting with my son it wasn't so much of an issue he liked to kick when I was changing him and I would just tell him no kicking... if he continued I just got up and left him. Sometimes 1/2 dressed. That would upset him and he would come and get me and we could finish without any problems. As for the throwing things... take it away, put it up. The top of my book shelf was filled with toys. He threw it... he was done with that toy for the day. At the end of the day when I cleaned up I would put it back. It does get better the key is keeping your sanity at the same time! Just wait after this its everything is mine and the sharing... or should I say the not so sharing.

Jaymie - posted on 10/27/2008

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My son is going through that phase as well, I dont think it's as bad as what your going through as he doesn't kick and throw things at me. He does screammmm and throw things down when he's angry or upset.
I have started really implementing time outs and it has helped considerably. When he starts acting up I just say please stop or you will get a time out and he stops right away now. Always offer two choices with things too. Would you like to do this? or would you like to do that? and if still puts up a tantrum, or screaming etc and doesn't pick either one then gets a time out. Usually having two choices that they're allowed to choose makes them feel like they're in control or they are a part of the decision.
Hope that helps!

Cathy - posted on 10/27/2008

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consistent is key do time outs help! Does he talk if he doesn't that could be why that his means of communication! Yeah you have to nip it in the bud now of else who knows how much more angry he can get. The library has some good books on early anger management.

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