I need sleep help

Barbie - posted on 01/06/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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Im no longer with my son father so i have my son monday threw friday morning then he goes with his dad til monday morning. My son is 20 months old and the problem is his dad lets him stay up til anywhere from 2am til 4am. when he comes home he wants to do the same and the eairlyest i get him to bed is 10. most kids at his age go to bed around 8 right? would it be wrong of me to not let my son go to his dads because his sleep schedule gets messed up.

12 Comments

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Jade - posted on 10/19/2010

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i would say that him putting a child to bed a 2 in the morning is terrible and not good for your child just tell him nicely that 10 is the limit and you would appreciate him being a responsible parent and follow through

Lindsay - posted on 01/10/2010

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i think u are totally right. Your son's father either needs to get his act together, and have the best interests of your son at heart, whether he is ready for bed or not, u have a schedule for him and he should stick by it as well. If not then i would tell him he isn't going there unless he abides by your schedule. It is hurting the child by confusing him with 2 different routines.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/07/2010

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You need to talk to your son's father, and tell him that he needs to set a set time for him to go to sleep every night. My daughter is 2 and she goes to be around 730-8pm everynight. Best way would be to talk with your son's father about a time GL

Amber - posted on 01/07/2010

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My son goes between me and his dad as well. I wouldn't suggest keeping him from his dad. The relationship is very important (trust me, I would be happy if he didn't see his dad anymore). Talk to your ex about it and try to get him to understand the long term problems. What happens when he goes to school? He can't keep him up that late. Stick to your routine and if that doesn't work, try the old, bed, bath bed routine. If he gets out of bed, put him back and repeat. It also won't hurt to let him cry. I know it's hard, but it will pay off in the long run. Keep at it and try not to kill your ex.

Antonietta - posted on 01/07/2010

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i agree ...kids need schedules and unfortunately when it comes to the daddy forbidding him from seeing his son is a legal matter. write up your childs schedule and give it to the childs father. try explaining to him how a routine is important for a child (like previous women have said MEN SUCK) and they just dont get things so try to explain it to him in baby language. good luck!!

Jenny - posted on 01/07/2010

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I have no experience with the being separated from my children's father part, but when my husband and I came to an agreement about our kids' bedtime (8) it was really helpful for all of us. It also helped to point out the benefits of a regular routine, like the kid is happier during the day!

Carolee - posted on 01/07/2010

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Tell your ex that he needs to stay on a schedule. If he will not adhere to the sleep schedule your son has during the week, he will be able to take him during the days on Sat. and Sun., but your son will no longer be spending the night.

Claire - posted on 01/06/2010

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I agree with the other ladies -- your son needs a schedule, and your ex needs to put his son's best interest ahead of his reclaimed bachelor lifestyle. Call your pediatrician and have her note the new sleeping troubles, it could help you convince any judge to stop sleepover visits. If he's in daycare, have the daycare note any behavior issues from the lack of sleep.

Christy - posted on 01/06/2010

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i agree with making your ex stick to your schedule and stopping the overnights if he won't. i think most courts are actually okay with that up to a certain age provided you can give a good reason why you want to stop overnights (being up till 2-4 am at 2 yrs won't sit well with most judges i think). not that you should stop any visitation, but different schedules confuse children especially at this age and it is not in his best interest to be up that late.

Jamie - posted on 01/06/2010

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I'd give the father some ground rules and if he can't follow them then I'd stop over night visits. I'm sure you welcome the break but if he can't be a responsible parent to your son then maybe limiting him will open his eyes.

Temeka - posted on 01/06/2010

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You would get into legal trouble by refusing him access to your son, unfortunately. Sorry to hear about the separation! That is one sticky situation a lot of us have found ourselves in - 2 households - 2 sets of rules!! The children ultimately suffer if the parents can't work together.

When I went through my divorce it was required we take parenting classes and that helped us both get on the same page for the child's sake.

Now, dealing with that problem now - if it is recent - you'd probably make him dig his heals in more by telling him what you need!! Men...suck! :-) Unfortunately there is no way around it, especially if you have a schedule to keep...

Wow - tough one - think I'll chew on that more - my son is yelling from his room, "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy..." I want to find a happy place right now...

Megan - posted on 01/06/2010

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I dont think its wrong if you have asked him to put your son to bed at a certin time. The best thing for kids is schedual

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