i think my son has odd- but last time i spoke to health visitor they laughed at me!!

Elaine - posted on 06/21/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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my 2 yr old sone is very sensitive, i have been typing his symptoms in google and it has come up with the same suggestions every time- looking at the suggestions i can see that my sone has most of them, and i have looked on many child disorders, websites etc, and i keep coming up with the same outcome, my son is very " touchy" he gets angry fast and irritated very fast, when he talks to you you have to answer him straight away or he flips, he is obbssessed with food, and throws temper tantrums daily, mostly over nothing, he will not play alongside or with other children very often and loves to bite books clothes and toys, he also loves to destroy things- we recently wallpapered his room and he pulled it all off, and tore apart his fabric wardrobe, and trashed his room for no apparent reason.

i approached my health visitor as the other 2 yr olds i know are not like this, and she laughed at me and said it was normal 2 yr old behaviour, i highly doubt this!! my daughter age 4 was no where near the bad with her behaviour, yeh she threw a few tantrums but not everyday over people walking past her,.

my son was also laye with his speech and it is still very "babyish" what can i do if the health visitors wont listen? and if all my gp does is tell me to see the health visitor, i know this isnt normal behaviour, help anyone??

8 Comments

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Erin - posted on 06/23/2010

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I agree with other posts you should speak to a child psychologist. The health visitor shouldn't have laughed at you. However, I do agree that a lot of the behaver you are describing does sound pretty typical to me. It sounds intensified, but all kids are different. As for playing alongside with other kids, and his speech, this is something children do at all different levels, . Again, talk to a child psychologist. In this day and age we are constantly diagnosing ourselves and our children based on symptoms we have read on the internet. We aren't qualified to do this and can sometimes do more harm than good when we try.

Caitlin - posted on 06/22/2010

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I woudln't want to label a child that young with something like that. Every child has a different personality and you can't compare the way your daughter was to the way your son is. I'd suggest maybe talking to a speech therapist to help him communicate effectively, and thta may actually reduce the temper tantrums and fits because he will be able to express himself in a way he is understood.

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Can you consult with a different gp? You need someone that will be willing to listen to your concerns. You could also contact a child psychologist. I am also wondering if child find could help you. http://www.childfindidea.org/ Best of luck to you.

Kimberly - posted on 06/22/2010

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I think you should wait it out. If he actually do have some kind of a disorder, chances are he's too young to have any kind of medication to control it. But if you wait it out, it may just be the terrible twos. It's called that for a reason :) Every child is different and thats why your daughter never acted like it, plus, he's male. I wouldn't worry about it right now. Just try to understand how he feels & have patience. Of course, if you dont want to wait it out, go to a medical professional who specializes in those types of behaviours/disorders. But hopefully it's just a phase. Good Luck!

Melissa - posted on 06/22/2010

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i'm gonna tell you flat out...not to upset you or make light of your situation, but because it just needs to be said. anyone that will diagnose a 2 year old as ODD is an idiot! however, that being said...if you talk to someone who will listen to your concerns (because i also think that if the doctors aren't even pretending to listen you need a new one), they can judge if these behaviors are just the beginning. they can give you tips on behavior modifications. it's a first step. if the things they suggest don't work, you'll at least have record of things that have been tried. if he needs a diagnosis in the future it will make it that much easier! i don't wish ODD on anyone. i teach special ed (severe delays and behaviors) so i've seen it all. for your family's sake, i hope that's not it. best of luck to you, and i hope you find someone to listen!

Lyndsay - posted on 06/21/2010

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I don't think you will be able to get a diagnosis at this age, particularly since two year olds are known to be defiant. Can I tell you something about ODD? It's not so much a genetic disorder as a learned one. Usually children who end up with ODD first have ADHD, which is either unrecognized or untreated. What tends to happen is the ADHD child is not deliberately defying his parents, but he may misunderstand the directions or get things all mixed up in his head and so he doesn't do the expected task in the exact way it was expected. If the parent or caregiver does not respond appropriately, or maybe just doesn't know how to deal with this, the behaviour becomes a pattern and the child realizes that no matter what he does he's not performing as expected, so why bother trying? Thats when it usually turns into a conduct disorder such as ODD.

I'd suggest you speak to a psychologist, not your family doc. I am not qualified in any way to make a diagnosis, but from what you've described I think it may be more of an anxiety issue than ODD. To me it sounds like your son has a very low frustration tolerance, so anything you can do to minimize the possible obstacles is probably the first step. That being said, you can't protect him from everything, so teaching him how to deal with his frustration should be the second step.

Danielle - posted on 06/21/2010

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At only 2 years old, most doctors would be hesitant to officially diagnose anything in the mental health/behavioral area yet. At least, not the good ones. And they are right, most of what you have described does sound typical, but I do believe your concerns and trust your instincts that you know your own child and feel that something is wrong. My best advice to you is to keep watching, try to manage his behavior as best you can, and if you can afford it, take him to a speech-language pathologist. I know, most people say, "He doesn't have a speech problem, how would that help?" But most people don't realize that speech-language pathology is also about effective communication, behavioral modification, and impulse control. It's about how to acceptably function in his world, which is what I think you guys need help doing. The pathologist can also help teach/train you how to better handle his unusual behaviors, especially since you said you didn't have these problems with your daughter. Remember, if he does later get a diagnosis, early intervention is BEST so speech therapy would DEFINATELY make your road smoother. And if it turns out he's just more rambunctious than most, it certainly won't hurt and could help you better control him!

I hope everything works out for you! Best wishes!
-Danielle

Gillian - posted on 06/21/2010

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i suggest trying to talk with a mental health doctor. they generally have more knowledge and experience with behavor disorders than a gp. it may be odd or something else also. sometimes at that age it is difficult because children are testing their boundries more but sounds like yours is extreme. a mental health doctor should see him and give an evaluation. my nephew was just diagnosed with odd and he is also bi-polar so i understand a bit of what you are going through, the big difference is my nephew is now 13 yrs old. he is being treated with medication and counseling weekly.
good luck

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