I thought you would all enjoy a laugh!

Monika - posted on 07/30/2010 ( 28 moms have responded )

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1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.



Preparing for the Birth:



1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby : You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.



The Layette :



1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?



Worries:



1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.



Dummy:



1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle..

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.



Nappies:



1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.



Activities:



1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.



Going Out:



1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached...

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.



At Home:



1st baby : You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.



Swallowing Coins:



1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his pocket money.

28 Comments

View replies by

Christina - posted on 08/11/2010

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This is one of the funniest things I've read in a while...and so true. I'm currently pregnant with my third and had to run a few errands this past weekend. As I was leaving I did tell my husband not to call me unless someone was on fire...

Liza - posted on 08/10/2010

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yeah, it's very funny indeed, i only have two kids at the moment.. and thinking for the 3rd child and this post i read i burst into laugh... .. thanks for a moment of laughter

Kirsty - posted on 08/09/2010

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Very true - 1st baby you steriliser evrything with the steriliser, 2nd baby you stick it in the dishwasher, 3rd baby you dunk it in hot water or hope for the best. All this doesn't mean you don't care about number two or three - you just change your perspective about how you spend your time!!!

Beccie - posted on 08/08/2010

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LOL !!! Love both of those, made me giggle to myself, now look like a crazy lady :)

Laura - posted on 08/07/2010

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Lorie

My mom was worried about #2 and she loves us both with her whole heart...as she says, my heart just grew bigger with both of you ♥

Lorie - posted on 08/07/2010

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As the youngest in my family, I have to say, this made me feel pretty sad. I'm pregnant with my 2nd baby now, and I'm hoping that I will have the ability to love her just as much as my first.

Sheresa - posted on 08/04/2010

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soo funny i literally laughed out loud at the time travel one remembering my mom saying it.

Griselda - posted on 07/30/2010

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That's funny, here's one I got a few months ago...
25 Things my Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me: RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me: TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me: LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me: MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going
to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me: FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me: IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me: CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me: WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me: HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me: THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

1 4. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me: ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me: ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me: GENETICS.
"I swear you're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me: WISDOM ..
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My MOTHER TAUGHT ME ABOUT JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

This was emailed to me a while back.... before kids! Now it takes on a whole new meaning! Care to add any motherly sayings?

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