Introducing New Baby

Melissa - posted on 03/31/2011 ( 14 moms have responded )

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We've decided to expand our family! We have a 15 month old son, and starting next month we'll be trying to get pregnant with baby #2 (Fingers crossed for a girl!!!). Our son has always been very easy going, very friendly with other children, and has never really shown much jealousy when I play with or hold other children/babies. He does, however, get VERY interested in babies! He always wants to be on top of them, examining everything, he doesn't really understand to walk around them instead of over them, so on and so forth. I realize he'll be at least 2 by the time our new baby pops out, and he'll be more developed and more able to handle something like this, but I was hoping maybe some of you lovely ladies would have a little advice? Nothing specific, just the general, run of the mill "we're having another baby" advice? Lol thanks a bunch :0)

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Elizabeth - posted on 04/06/2011

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He won't understand it until the baby actually shows up but you can point out babies to him and say how small they are..and how we have to be so gentle ..show him what gentle is by opening his hand and rubbing it on himself or on you.
It's a long ways still but the baby can bring him a gift...often you get a ton of presents for the baby and the older child gets ignored..get him something.

Talk about the baby who is coming in terms of "OUR" baby. Give him a sense of pride too. When the baby arrives have him help with a lot of things..getting diapers..wipes..bringing the bottle..yada yada..all of these things will combat any feelings of jealousy which are so normal

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Celia - posted on 07/22/2011

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my first one was 3- 3.5 when we brought her baby sister home and she was excellent with her. she was super excited and doesnt necessarily watch where she is going yet (my infant is 2 months), but i just pay a lil more attention to what she is doing and make sure i let her do stuff for baby sister to make sure she feels like she is helping and doesnt get so jealous. but i notice she has come up to me more often than she use to and tells me she just wants to cuddle! but im just eating it up. but i have to say my 3 yo is more helpful at times with the baby than my husband is!

Timora - posted on 04/14/2011

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I'm 20 weeks pregnant with my second, so I don't know how well what I'm doing will work yet, but I'm trying to involve my 2 year old daughter as much as possible and talk to her about it. I also got some books about being a big sister from the library. I show her the ultrasound pictures of the baby and pictures and videos of herself when she was a newborn and her own ultrasound pictures. We also have a friend with a 3 month old and my daughter loves to help with her when she visits. I'm not sure how much she understand though since she told me the other day that her baby sister was in her belly button....lol. We don't even know if it's a boy or a girl.

Melissa - posted on 04/13/2011

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lol!! Amanda that's hillarious! And CONGRATULATIONS!! We were actually planning to start trying next week, buuuut turns out I was 5 days late, and we just got a possitive pregnancy test today!! I definitely plan on using all of your awesome advice and ideas! You're all amazing and have been so super helpful :0) THANKS EVERYONE!!!

Amanda - posted on 04/13/2011

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well my son had just turned three when we found out we were pregnant with the second so when we told him we are having a baby he didn't really get it until the baby started moving and we just answered his questions like what can u do with a baby and if we were buying things we let him pick out something he helped a lot with picking out stuff and then we did the whole ur going to be a great big brother and he was excited..once we had her he was a little diapointed cause he wanted a boy...lol but for the most part everything is great

Melissa - posted on 04/08/2011

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Luckily we have 2 cats, so from day one he's learned the words "gentle" and "be nice". He's very sweet to them, and always careful to not hurt them, so hopefully we can teach him to be the same way with a new baby.

Thanks so much for all the help, you guys. I really appreciate it :) It's definitely helped lift a bit of the anxiety I've been feeling!

Melissa - posted on 04/01/2011

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Yeah, I definitely want him to interact and learn that mommy's big belly has a baby in it, I'm just worried he might be a little confused about that once the baby is out, lol. A friend of mine, when she had her second, had her daughter rub her belly, kiss her belly, they call the baby "bubba" so she'd say "can you give bubba kisses?" and her daughter would kiss her belly, but then when they brought her to the hospital to meet her baby brother she was NOT happy! I think if that happens, that's where the gift idea would work in perfectly!

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My son was 8 months old when we got pregnant with our new son and all through the pregnancy I would show him my belly and say his brother was in there and I would hold his hand to my belly. After a while I would ask him where his brother was and he would lift my shirt and touch my belly. When he was born we said "this is your baby brother" and that is what he calls his is Baby (he can't say Liam yet) Our oldest turns 2 this month and is great with his brother who just turned 6 months old. He tries to help with whatever he can, from holding the bottle to patting his back to burp him and even trying to wipe his butt (That had me laughing). Louise I love your idea about the gift from the baby, I would have loved to have done that.

Melissa - posted on 04/01/2011

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Thanks! The gift is a great idea I hadn't thought of! We had discussed me maybe carrying around a baby doll with me towards the end of my pregnancy, so he can get used to seeing me holding a baby a lot. I am concerned about taking time away from him. From day one I've had him by my side almost every second of every day. He goes to work with me, he runs errands with me, so I definitely do want to try as hard as possible to incorporate him in tending to the new baby. I also like the idea of setting aside time for just him. Maybe instead of cleaning right away while the baby rests I could play with him and give him more one on one time? Thanks so much for the advice! I love your suggestions!

Louise - posted on 04/01/2011

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You have to get your child involved from when you are showing in your pregnancy. Let him feel your baby in your tummy and tell him he is going to be a big brother and he'll be able to help you look after the new baby. just involve him every step of the way, decorating the baby's room and getting things ready. Start telling him how gentle he will have to be and practise being gentle with a teddy.

When your baby is due buy a gift like a garage with cars something substantial and wrap it up. When the baby comes home then bring out the present and tell him it is from his brother/sister. This way when people turn up to make a fuss over the new baby he will not feel pushed out and jealous because he has a big toy. It is very easy for people to forget that you already have a son and leave him out. He will be so pleased with his new toy that he will not take to much notice of all the fuss over the new baby.

Let him hlep you with fetching nappies, and wipes and let him help at bath time. if he feels involved he will not be jealous and you will have no problems. It is also nice to have special time with him as well, make sure either you or his dad reads him a story and has a cuddle at the end of the day. Time for him alone, a special time. I hope this helps!

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