is he manipulating me?

Dana - posted on 04/06/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son is 16 months old and everytime I put him in bed for a nap he poops his pants. It doesn't matter if I keep him up later then the usual time hoping he'll go before his nap...I swear he holds it until I put him in the crib and walk away. I try to change him and put him back in bed but he just freaks out. So 9 times out of 10 after listening to him cry for ten minutes I go let him get up. It would be no problem except when I let him stay up he is a cranky little imp till he goes to bed. He is making me nuts LOL my mom says he's too young to be knowingly manipulating me but I dunno.....

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Elizabeth - posted on 04/06/2011

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...It sounds like you have an incredibly intelligent little boy..he learned what you taught him to expect

I will explain:

I don't believe the pooping is part of manipulation ..that is a basic human necessity and he probably likes being in private to do it.

However, he has learned that if you change him he now has an out....10 minutes is hardly enough to cry to sleep..wait longer. You have taught him that if he cries for a while he can expect you to come take him out instead of making him nap....tell me he isn't a smart little stinker!

If you can't take listening to him cry ..go outside. You know he is fed, changed, and needs absolutely nothing ..except sleep.

Moms need a break too. Nap time is like the best time of day most days...I get to do what I want without stopping to get something for someone every couple of minutes.

Louise - posted on 04/06/2011

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Nikki is right this is purely a relaxed thing.Normally you go to bed after a bath that relaxes your entire body. My daughter tends to poop in the bath if she is a bit constipated (horrid but true).

Karen - posted on 04/06/2011

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i think they're smarter then we give them credit for at this age. i agree with nikki, he may not know that it's manipulating but he knows that he'll get what he wants if he cries. if you put him down and stick to it for a few days he'll get the hint that he's not going to get up because he's crying. you'll have to be tough for a while and just stick to your guns if you want him to nap. change him, put him back to bed. let him cry for a few minutes, go in and rub his back to calm him but don't let him up...keep up with this making the time between going back in to sooth him a bit longer each time.

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My daughter used to always poop when I put her to bed! I think it's just because they start to relax and let it go. But yeah, if you let him get up, he's going to keep crying every time. He may not know he's manipulating you, but he knows that if he cries enough, he gets what he wants.

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