Is my child just shy?

Michelle - posted on 03/30/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son is almost 5 yrs old and in his report card his teacher says that he prefers to play by himself. Should I be concerned that he's not playing with other children? He has a younger sister who's 15 months old. He stayed by his gran till he was 3 before going to "school".

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Elizabeth - posted on 04/06/2011

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my 5 yr old is the same..your son is used to being around adults and not children...at this age they are still doing the side by side play that younger children do. If the teacher hasnt brought it up as a concern you can always talk to your pediatrician to get some reassurance it is normal

Maggie - posted on 03/31/2011

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Have you noticed anything "anti-social" when he's at home? does he get along with his sister? does he interact with you and the people that come to visit? Don't let what the teacher said bother you. Don't start looking for problems that aren't really there. Some people are very internal and some people are more outgoing. Your son is probably just getting used to being around all those noisy rambunctious kids - as you said he was with his gran for most of his life. It will take time for him to warm up to people but he will do it eventually. Also, her note said he "prefers" to play by himself. It doesn't say he refuses to play with other kids or that he gets upset when other kids try to play with him.
I wouldn't worry. We tend to blow an innocent comment way out of proportion. Why not ask the teacher about it? You could say you are concerned about her comment because he does fine around other people at home (if that's the truth). She will probably agree that it will take time for him to get used to the school environment and the other kids.

Louise - posted on 03/31/2011

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My son was very much a loaner at school until the age of about 9. Even though he had a younger brother he just was not interested in playing with other children he would rather read a book or use the computer. He was very intelligent and on the gifted and talented register I think he just did not fit in.

Try and encourage a friendship as much as you can by asking if he wants to bring someone home for dinner. Or look into sending him to Beaver scouts where all the games are done as group games and are a really good place to learn to socialise and have fun at the same time.

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